The threads that sew

Reads: 426  | Likes: 16  | Shelves: 3  | Comments: 15

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Vintage Publishing

August 29, 2019...

The threads that sew my broken heart,

Are flimsy, loose and torn apart.

So ineffective, inefficient,

To stitch up they’re not sufficient.

The needle’s rusty and very old,

I hide away the pain I hold.

I cannot keep my shit together,

I cannot bind this heart forever.

I slave away the day and night,

This sewing kit just isn’t right.

Nothing does work; nothing does matter,

So might as well let this heart shatter.


Submitted: September 12, 2019

© Copyright 2020 jaylisbeth. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Derina Penn

Really well written! It looks like you need to have a thicker thread or a shaper needle. Hope your heart is still intact and hold well. Welcome back!

Thu, September 12th, 2019 2:15pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! I have to admit it's fiction, when I wrote it of course, it did feel real, but I am okay now. I appreciate you taking the time, it means a lot to me.

Thu, September 12th, 2019 7:28am

jmm424

An excellent piece, Jaylisbeth. Nice job.

Thu, September 12th, 2019 2:49pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, jmm. Something I wrote a short time ago :)

Thu, September 12th, 2019 7:53am

Adam L.

The imagery is outstanding Lis. Welcome back, sweetheart.

Thu, September 12th, 2019 2:49pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Adam!

Thu, September 12th, 2019 7:54am

Mike S.

Powerful and excellent, J. B!

Thu, September 12th, 2019 3:06pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Mike!

Thu, September 12th, 2019 9:22am

Jeff Bezaire

It's time to trade in the sewing kit for a welder, I think.
Powerfully composed, Lis. The mixture of sadness and anger blends so well; the fire tempered by despair - a nice wave of emotions.

Thu, September 12th, 2019 7:02pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, Jeff! :)

Fri, September 13th, 2019 7:42am

johngumbs

She's back with those fantastic rhymes. The poetess. Well done! Glad that it is not for real.

Thu, September 12th, 2019 7:04pm

Author
Reply

Awww, well, thank you for that, dearest John :)

Fri, September 13th, 2019 7:41am

hullabaloo22

Rusty needles and worn out threads... I know them well. An excellent write, jaylisbeth with brilliant rhyming.

Thu, September 12th, 2019 7:34pm

Author
Reply

Why, thank you, Hully! :)

Fri, September 13th, 2019 7:41am

Sue Harris

A desolate but beautifully written poem, Lis. Love the analogy, works really well. Nice to have you back, and so relieved to note this is fiction. Nice one!

Thu, September 12th, 2019 9:11pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Sue :)

Fri, September 13th, 2019 7:41am

TheSinningCrow

A very powerful piece of fiction. Even in fiction, poetry has the realism to take words and make them feel like real life. You are so good at doing that, because you have readers who think your fiction work is based on real life. Your words are torturous, because of the struggle in the imagery. The rhyming feels like it is getting closer to suicide, because there is no hope. I have to say this is a brilliant trademark poem by you. It has the rhyming, the realism and the raw taste of defeat. Mighty fine poetry Lisbeth :)

Thu, September 12th, 2019 9:18pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, dear friend

Fri, September 13th, 2019 7:41am

moa rider

I'm pleased you're ok now Jay, that part behind you. Usianguke

Fri, September 13th, 2019 4:31am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Moa :)

Fri, September 13th, 2019 7:40am

Criss Sole

I missed you and so glad you are back!
Excellent use of metaphors. I truly enjoyed this poem.
Wonderfully written.

Fri, September 13th, 2019 4:40am

Author
Reply

Than you so much, sweet Criss! Have you posted anything new on booksie while i was away?

Fri, September 13th, 2019 7:40am

ChristopherErick

Well written and expressed jay. And seems like someone has really done a number to your feelings. Such sadness relayed with such swift and keen words. Talent. Hope all is well with you.

Tue, October 1st, 2019 11:31pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, sweet Chris. It's nice to hear from you again :)

Fri, October 4th, 2019 5:52am

james farr

Beautiful poem. I would have written as last line:"might as well as mend the heart" Which is opposite your line.Your line gives the poem dissonance or a pause in rhyme. Maybe work is needed to mend the heart.

Sat, October 19th, 2019 1:51pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much for the read and comment, friend!

Tue, October 22nd, 2019 6:44am

Rehmat Tanzila

Oh My God wow!!!

Sat, October 19th, 2019 3:00pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, my love!

Tue, October 22nd, 2019 6:44am

Spyguy

A voice you have, that resonates, a tuning fork of sorts...
You rend our hearts, they hesitate; Akin to active sports!
Your voice my Dear, so sweet, defies... The logic of my mind:
Undercurrents you devise ~ Instilling heartfelt love remind!

Mon, November 11th, 2019 12:05pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, sweet Spy. I have missed you

Thu, November 14th, 2019 7:37am

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