Never Leave My Side

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Things can change when Sam moves, but there's one thing that won't.

Submitted: October 24, 2019

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Submitted: October 24, 2019

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Never Leave My Side

My whole life, I've lived in the same old town, Nolensville, Tennessee. I grew up there, and that is my home, the only place where I could be completely happy, or so I thought. One day, my parents told me that we are moving to France, and, suddenly, my world fell apart. How am I supposed to tell Zach that I am leaving? Zach has been my best friend since we were four years old. How am I supposed to tell him that I leave next week? I am going to break his heart while simultaneously breaking my own.

The week went by slowly, I skipped school a lot and spent a lot of time packing all my stuff. Zach got really worried and often came to check up on me. I never let him come in, I didn't want him to see that everything was already packed. I only told one of my friends that I am leaving and somehow Zach found out, and he showed up really angry at my house.

"SAM?! SAM, OPEN THE DOOR!!!" I opened the door really scared of why he is yelling like that, but it turns out that he is perfectly fine. "Why didn't you tell me you are leaving?"

"I had no idea how to, Zach. I had no idea how to tell you that I'm moving to the other side of the world."

"So, what? You just expected me to look for you and soon realize that you are gone while I have no idea as to where you are?"

"No, I was planning to tell you. The thing is, that it's hard to tell someone that you fell in love with that you're going away. I never wanted you to find out like this."

"Wait, you fell in love with me?" Zach asked very confused.

"How could I not? You are the one that has been by my side my whole life. How could I possibly want to tell you that I'm leaving?"

"How long have you been in love with me?" Zach asked still very confused.

"A couple of months. Why?"

"Because I've been in love with you for more than a year."

"No, that can't be possible. You would've told someone and that someone would've told me, unless... You didn't tell anyone. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because I knew that if I told someone they would've told you and..." He took a little pause before he continued. "I knew that that would be the end of our friendship and I don't want to lose you."

"How could you be so sure it would be the end of our friendship?"

"Because that's what usually happens. When one reveals feelings for the other, the other freaks out and they stop talking."

"And what makes you think that we are like everybody else?"

"I don't know, I just didn't want to risk it. I would rather have you as my best friend than tell you how I feel and lose you."

"Well, now you know. You won't lose me. You will never lose me, no matter how hard you try, I won't leave.”

"Well, you are leaving, so I don't know how you could do that."

"Yes, I am leaving, but I will come visit as often as I can and I know you'll come visit me. But now, it is better to stay friends, but don't worry, we will keep in touch. Zach, if this is going to happen, it will happen at the right time, not when I'm leaving."

"Yeah, you're right. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen at the right time. We shouldn't rush this."

After that we stayed up all night talking about stupid things. We didn't even realize that we stayed up all night until Zach's mom knocked on the door. She came in and saw us sitting on the floor still talking. She said my parents called; they were worried because I didn't go home last night. She had no idea that I was there with Zach. I called my parents and told them that there is nothing they should worry about; I spent the night with Zach. As soon as I said his name, they weren't mad at me anymore. Somehow they know that if I am with Zach, I won't get in any trouble, at least not that much. I guess that's true. I never get in too much trouble when I hang out with Zach.

"Hey, Sam, do you think you can stay here today? I would like for you to stay."

"Zach, that is the problem. I leave today at five in the afternoon."

"Wait, WHAT?!" His smile quickly disappeared and he looked like suddenly his world ended. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I had no idea how to do it, and I had no idea how to. Especially because I knew that when I would find the strength to tell you, I would be breaking your heart and simultaneously breaking my own." 

"Come on, Samantha!" He never called me Samantha, unless he was trying to talk about something serious. "Just stay."

"I can't. All of my things are already packed, and some of them have already been shipped. How do you expect me to stay here? I can’t. I have to leave, but I promise that I will do my best to come back here whenever I can.” I was fighting back the tears forming in my eyes. “Zach, I’m sorry. I really am.”

“I’m sure you are, I just wish we could’ve gotten more time together.” He was looking at the floor, almost as if looking at me was too hard. “I wish I could go to the airport with you, but we both know that would be too hard. So, I might as well say goodbye now.”

“Come on, it doesn’t have to be like this. We can figure something out.” I said, when honestly, even I can’t think of a solution.

“And what could possibly be that solution?!” I know that even I can't think of good solution now, but I hope that we can. “Let’s just face it, there is no actual future for us and there will probably never be.”

“That’s not what I believe, I know that there can be a future for us if we don’t give up and we fight for what we actually want.”

“Look Sam, I know there may be a possibility of us being together.” I know that he isn’t finished, but I’m afraid that what he is going to say next is going to hurt like hell. “But I don’t want to get my hopes up when I know there is an even bigger chance that in the end we will never have a chance together.”

“Please, Zach, just try to give us a chance. I’m not asking for a long distance relationship. I know that wouldn’t work. The only thing that I’m asking for is for you not give up on your hopes on us. No matter how little of the odds we have on our side, even if in the end we don’t end up together, I want you to still have hope.”

“Why would I keep having hope?” This is killing me. “Come on, Sam, you know me. You know that I never have hopes for something that I know won’t work.”

“But this is us! I know I’m leaving and I know that it will be hard to just keep in touch, but I know that we can at least try to keep in touch!”

“I never said that we shouldn’t keep in touch! All I said was that it would be hard for us to be together if you’re not going to be here. Sam, believe me, this is just as hard for me as is it for you. I mean, I’m losing my best friend today and I only found out you were leaving yesterday.” I know this isn’t fair for him, but I can’t change the past. All I can do is try to make better decisions in the future. “Look, obviously you leaving will affect me, maybe even more than you think it will. The worst part is that when I finally know that you feel the same way about me, you leave. This is leaving almost no chance for us to ever be together. I'm not saying that we will never see each other, or that I will forget about you. I could never forget about you, no matter how hard I try.”

I couldn’t help but to laugh a little. “Do you think I could actually forget about you? After all we’ve been through? Zach, you are my best friend and you will still be my best friend after I leave.”

“Of course Sam, now go! Finish packing your last things. I’ll go over there later to say goodbye.”

So, I left, and as I was packing the last of my clothes, I couldn’t help but think about all the things that we’ve been through over the years. All the fun we had together, all the times he came to me asking for girl advice, and all the times I cried on his shoulder. It’s going to be really hard to leave him. I don’t how I am supposed to do it. I have no idea how my parents expect me to just say goodbye to him, especially when they know how close we are. Yes, I know that it looks like I’m whining about it, but this is my best friend I’m leaving. For a moment, just think how you would feel if you had to leave everything behind.

I just don’t want to leave this place, but my parents are leaving me no choice and it’s not like they’re going to let me stay here by myself. I had no choice but to leave, and the closer that that moment got, the more it broke me to know that I probably will never see Zach again. Soon, I was finished packing my last suit case. All I had to do now was leave, but I can't. I just sat in the center of my soon-to-be old room without being able to say good bye. I was snapped away from my thoughts by a knock on my door.

"Hey sweetie, are you ready to go?" It was my mom. "We need to leave now if we want to make it on time for our flight."

Suddenly, everything became extremely real and a tear started to roll down my left cheek. "I can't do it, mom. I just can't leave this place."

"Oh, Sam it's okay. Once you're there you'll see that it's not so bad." It didn't matter what she said, I was still heartbroken. "Everything will be better and easier once we leave."

I was somehow able to start walking and went outside. I gave the house one last goodbye, and we left for the airport. I wasn't able to say one last good bye to Zach, but I thought that we didn't need another goodbye. Even though we probably were never going to be together, Zach finally told me how he really felt, and it assured me that it was okay to leave.

After an eight hour flight, we arrived in Starsbourg, France, my supposedly new home. This city is obviously bigger than Nolensville, and I honestly can't imagine making a new life here. This is a place for a girl that has big dreams, and that is nothing like me. I've been afraid of lots of things in my life, but I've never been more afraid than I am now. I have to form a new life, go to a new school, make new friends, and the worst part is that I can't have Zach here with me to help me calm down.

We've been together our whole lives; we even made plans of going to the same college, and now I am all alone on the other side of the world. The worst part is that I just got here, and tomorrow I have to go to school. A school where I don't know anyone, and no one know me. I woke up the next morning. I checked my phone and there was a message from Zach.

ZACH: Hey, hope you got there okay. Text me when you can, okay?

SAM: Hi, I got here okay. Today is my first day of school here, hopefully it won't be that bad.

ZACH: Don't worry that much about it. You're an amazing girl, and I'm sure everyone will like you. If someone doesn't like you, then I'll deal with them personally.

SAM: Thanks, Zach. Wait, what time is it there?

ZACH: It's 1am, why?

SAM: Did you stay up late just to see if I would answer?

ZACH: Yeah, you know I'd do anything to make sure you're okay.

SAM: Thanks, but I have to go to school. Talk to you later.

My first day at the new school was hell. My teachers are horrible, the only people that wanted to talk to me were the popular kids. I don't want to be friends with them; I want real friends. The only highlight of my first day was this girl named Alex that was in my literature class, she was the only normal person that talked to me throughout the day. She was the only real friend that I made that day. She told me how everything in the school works. As we spoke, a guy was coming towards us and Alex noticed. She told me this was the most popular guy in school, his name is Cody. According to what she told me, he is known for having the best grades and good at making friends or at least being nice to everyone.

"Hey, Alex. Who's your new friend?" He asked flashing a smile at me.

"This is Samantha, she just moved here yesterday." Alex answered.

"Well, nice to meet you, Samantha. I hope you like it here." Cody said with a smile that was starting to scare me. "Maybe we can talk later, alone."

Who the hell does he think he is? "First of all, call me Sam. Second, what the hell is wrong with you? If you want to talk in private with me, just say it. There's no need for you be creepy."

"Okay, sorry." Cody said.

He left, and I was left with Alex. I honestly like her more than any other person that has spoken to me today. She was the only highlight to my first day. The rest of the week was pretty much the same, just meeting new people and spending my free periods with Alex. It wasn't until my second week here that things started to go downhill. Cody came and said he wanted to talk to me, alone. If only I knew what he wanted before I agreed to it. He said there was something about me that intrigued him, and he wanted to get to know me, the me that nobody else sees.

I told him that I had somebody back home, I didn't explain everything about Zach and me, I just told him that I was in love with Zach. He offered to help me forget about Zach and that just confused me. Do I want to forget about Zach? No, but he is not here and Cody is and there is almost no possibility for me and Zach to be together. Don't get me wrong, I want to be with Zach and only Zach, but sometimes I wonder how long it will be until we see each other again. I know it's only been two weeks and we talk every night for me and day for him, and I know that I may be overreacting about all of this, but still. I told Cody I needed to think about everything and that I needed time alone. It seemed he didn’t hear me, he came to my house at midnight the next night.

"Cody, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked, mad that he showed up at this hour.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing with the decision, I thought maybe I could help you decide." Cody answered with a sweet smile.

"I haven't decided anything yet, it's a hard decision."

"Not really, just consider the possibilities." Cody said.

"So, what? You think everything will change overnight?" I asked. "Cody, I told you, I am in love someone else and you being here is only confusing me more."

"Obviously not, but it would be a good start to at least talk about it."

"Just explain one thing to me, how is it possible that you, the hottest guy in school, wants to get to know me? That makes no sense! I moved here two weeks ago!" I've been here for two weeks and my life is already a disaster. “

"You're just different, I can't really explain it." He is crazy if he thinks coming to my house is a good thing. "All I know is that I want you in my life no matter what."

"You don't even know me!" This is seriously getting out of hand "Leave! Just leave, I don't want you here, so please, just leave."

"Fine, I'll leave you alone, but please give me a chance later."

"I'll think about it, but now I just want you to leave my house and give me time to think."

Then Cody just left without saying anything else. I know I am hurting him, but right now I'm too confused about everything. This is unbelievable, I moved here two weeks ago and my life is already a disaster. As I thought everything over night, I realized that if Cody really wanted to be with me, he would've given me my time.

So, the next day I went to school ready to tell him I don't want to be with him, but Alex stopped me. She said that Cody has been telling everyone at school that I am his girlfriend. Are you freaking kidding me?! I want absolutely nothing to do with this guy, yet here he is, telling everyone that I'm his girlfriend. Now, this is a new one. I wonder what Zach would do if he knew what was happening. He would obviously have my back. I need to put an end to this and I need to do it in a place where everyone at school will see.

I'll do it over lunch, so that everyone can see what a lying bastard Cody is. I won't let him get away with this. He needs to know that you can’t mess with me. All day, I was angry. I didn't even pay attention in class because of how mad I was. Soon, lunch came around, and I was more than ready to put Cody in his place. Alex and I sat in our usual table and I waited for Cody to come. He came, and sat next to me, that's when I exploded.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" I started yelling loud enough for everyone in the cafeteria to hear. "Do you go around telling everyone that every new girl is your girlfriend?"

"What? No, I -" He was going to say something else, but I cut him off.

"I am NOT you girlfriend and I never will be, so stop lying to everyone by telling them that I am!" I can see in his eyes that he never thought I would do something like this. "You think you could just walk all over me and I'd let you? Well think again! I am not the kind of girl that would let a guy control her and I never will be, so f*ck you, Cody! By the way, you just lost any little chance that you could've had with me. Don't ever speak to me again."

With that, I turned around and left the cafeteria, with Alex by my side. People at this school think they can just walk all over the new guys. Well, I'm gonna teach them they can’t, and anyone who gets in my way will learn not to.

(2 Years Later)

The last two years have been pretty boring. Alex is still the best person that I've met in this school, and after what I did to Cody, everyone learned not to mess with me. I still talk to Zach everyday, although lately if feels like we're drifting apart. We don't talk as often as we used to and that is killing me. I don't want us to drift apart, I hate being so far away from him. I just want to be by his side and still be as close as we were before, maybe even closer. Don't get me wrong, I like this place, and I do have Alex, but it's not the same. It will never be the same as Nolensville or the same as having Zach.

Sometimes I cry at night because I want to go back there, and I know that my parents won't let me go. I miss that place, but most of all, I miss Zach. It feels like slowly we've been drifting apart and there's nothing I can do about it. I need to go back, I can't just sit here and watch as my best friend and I fall apart. I won't let that happen. I need to convince my parents to let me go back to Nolensville, they have to understand that Starsbourg is not my home, Nolensville is and that I don't want to lose Zach. That night, I talked to my parents.

Even though they have said no to me countless times before, this time they said yes and I didn't even have to fight that much. They said they have seen how down I've been and that they were starting to think that letting me go back to Nolensville for a while wouldn't be so bad. I'm glad they noticed my behavior and that they know what could do me some good. They bought me a ticket to Nolensville and the flight is in two days. I can't even begin to thank them for this.

The trip was long and exhausting, but worth it. I wanted to surprise Zach, so I didn't tell him. My cousin picked me up from the airport, and took me to her house. I took a little nap, changed clothes and decided to go for a walk while I waited for night to come to go surprise him. As I walked through the streets of my hometown, I started reminiscing every memory that was created here. I decided to go to the park and see the fountain again. As I got closer to the fountain, I noticed a guy, sitting on the edge of the fountain fighting with a girl that was sitting in his lap. Then, all of a sudden, the girl kissed the guy and it wasn't until I actually reached the fountain that I actually recognized the guy, it was Zach. I can't believe this, I came all the way here for him, mostly because I want to tell him that I don't want to wait anymore and that I want to be with him, yet here he is, kissing another girl.

I approached them holding back the tears. "Zach...."

"Sam, what are you doing here?"

“My parents finally let me come here, because they thought we may be drifting apart and know that ever since I left, we haven’t been talking that much, we don’t text that much, and we both know that it would be a little hard to meet in person, and I’m just worried that we may be drifting apart and I just don’t want that to happen to us.” It was really hard for me to convince my parents to let me come all the way back here and I might just have done it to get my heart broken. “But now that I’ve come all the way here and I see you with another girl, I realize that maybe I just came here to get my heart broken.”

“We are not drifting apart." He pushed the girl away and stood up. "I would never want to hurt you, you know that! It's just that things have changed while you were away."

"I knew things would change! I just thought that you could wait for me instead of jumping on the first girl that comes your way! I thought I knew you." I am doing my best to hold back my tears, because as much as I knew that he was being honest, it's hard to see that he just forgot about me in that way. "Maybe coming here was just a big mistake."

I stormed off as fast as I could. All I could do was run, I didn't know where I was going, all I knew was that I needed to get away from him. So I ran until I couldn't keep going, it wasn't until I stopped running that I actually paid attention to my surroundings, I was at my old neighborhood. Is this really where I want to be? The place where so many memories happened. So many happy memories and one of the worst memories, the day that I left. When I first left, all I wanted to do was come back here, be back in my old bedroom, be back in my old school and hanging out with Zach everyday. I wanted to go back to the time when everything was just perfect, back to when I didn't have to leave and back to when things weren't so complicated/different between me and Zach.

Unfortunately, life doesn't work like we want it to and seeing Zach with that girl, really hurt me deeply and made me feel like I was nothing to him. I always thought that I was the only girl that really mattered to Zach, but now I don't know if that still stands. I kept on walking until I got to my old house and I sat on the sidewalk. After a few minutes, I heard footsteps getting closer. I looked up to see it was Zach.

"How did you find me?" I asked with tears still rolling down my cheeks.

"I know you, I knew you'd want to be back in your old room, where you still feel safe." Even after all this time, he somehow knows how to make me feel special. "Look Sam, things have changed in the two years you've been gone, but don't even think for a second that my feelings for you have changed. I still love you, and I still want to be with you and only you."

"Then who was that girl at the park? It sure didn't look like you wanted to be with me when you were with her."

"She is no one. Just let me explain."

"Okay then, explain." I said, holding in the rest of the tears that were coming. 

"Apparently, when you were here, everyone thought that we were dating, and now that you are gone and everyone saw how down I was about you leaving, everyone thought we broke up. Now, almost every girl in our class is practically throwing themselves at me every chance they get." I can't believe he never told me any of this. "Sam, please believe me. You know you're the only girl I want to be with."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this? You knew about this and you never told me!" I am starting to get mad at him.

"I never thought it would matter. Especially because you were gone and never coming back." I can see that there is pain his eyes, but I don't know why. "For two years, I've told every girl that comes my way that I love you and that you are the only girl I want to be with. For two years, everyone has told me that I should just forget about you and move on. I never listened to them because I could never imagine being with anyone else than you. Today, I went to the park to think about things. I was sitting by the fountain, as you may remember, that is my favorite spot to think and see everything from a different angle. Then, that girl came up to me and when I said no to her, she jumped on my lap. She took me by surprise and I didn't know what to do. Then you came and you said I broke your heart, at that moment, you broke me."

"I broke you? You broke me! I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore." Tears started to come out of my eyes again.

"No, Sam please don't cry. Don't you ever think that again, there's no way I would ever want you out of my life." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "How about this? To make it up to you, I'll take you on a date and I'll show you that you are the only one that matters to me."

I honestly don't know if I should still trust him, but I can't just forget all the years of friendship. Still, he never told me any of this when he knew that it could cause problems. You know what? Im done, I'm done over thinking everything. I'm done with using logic, I'm going on that date and decide right after if he is worth it. "Fine." I finally answered and there was relieved expression on his face. I know this is hard on him too, and I know that things are different now, but maybe that's a good thing after all.

I went back to my cousin's house, and told her everything. She is really excited about it, even though I'm not. I honestly don't know what to expect from this. It's been two years since Zach and I last hang out, and he is taking me on a date. What could I possibly expect from this? I mean, I know all his tricks and all his pick-up lines, what is he going to do that I don't already know? And what happens if all of this goes wrong? Do we loose our friendship? Or do we just try to move on like nothing happened? I definitely don't want to lose Zach, but what if he doesn't care about losing me? No, Samantha stop going crazy like this, you won't lose Zach. Besides, I need to tart getting ready for the date.

Since I knew seeing Zach again will be something big, I brought a blue dress that I know Zach always loved, I loved it too, it's my favorite dress. Zach picked me up at my cousin's house. He was wearing a grey suit, it looked great on him. He took me to this cute little fancy restaurant, where we started talking. We started remembering the time that we met, back in elementary school. It was hilarious remembering all the stupid things that we've done together. We literally were the only ones in the whole restaurant laughing, and we didn't care. We were together and having fun. That's all that matters. It was nice having fun with Zach again and that wasn't the best part of the night.

"Hey, Sam." Zach said, suddenly getting serious.

I had to take a break from laughing. "Yeah?"

"I'm moving to Starsbourg." He answered and I was left speechless for a while. "Sam, please say something."

"You're moving there? How?"

"Well, I applied to college there and I got in." I can't believe he did this. "Ever since you left, I've been trying to find a way to go there, and stay there. Then, last year it occurred to me that college was the best way to do it."

"You're moving to France for me?"

"Yeah, Sam, every day here without you has been torture and after I graduate I will get to see you every day again."

"Zach... I can't believe you did all of this for me..."

"How could I not?" He asked. "You are my best friend, the love of my life, you are the only one that knows every detail about me. I want you to be by my side every day."

"So, we'll be together after graduation?"

"Yeah."

This is crazy, yet, it doesn't feel so crazy. We will be back together and actually get a chance to be a couple. This is what I've been wishing for the last two years. Finally, something good is to coming out of living in France.


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