Table of Contents
Seeds
Scars
Ataaaaaack!
The Long Wait
The Rope
Fire and Air
Discovered
Fire
Wrath
Poison
Healers and Surgeons
New Digs
The Descent
Chains
A Year or So Later
Recent Comments
Ah, rescued by the people who fed her to the sharks it seems like. And pirates- that can't be any good lol. Though Jeran- we meet again. I'm intrigued that he's able to breathe underwater, and that for some reason he sought her out to save. I also wonder whether other people from her ship were saved. Very nice thoughts here- pacing and excellent description of the struggle to get her up into the ship.
Tue, December 10th, 2019 1:01amAgain, fantastic. Great writing and the conflict was consistent throughout. I love the way you introduced your mythical creatures such as elves and mermans(?) so subtly without for one second interrupting the flow of the action. I also like the link to the prologue there at the end.
I don't really have any criticism for this chapter, some awkward phrasing perhaps?
Author
Reply
The awkward phrasing isn't surprising. This is my aborted attempt at nanowrimo, so I didnt spend much time editing.
Thanks-I've had this story in my head for awhile now, so throwing it into my fantasy world with elves and magic wasn't a stretch :)
Thanks for the comments!
great prose; the action is clear but not indulgent, the story is quickly but fluidly revealed. And a fantastic reveal at the end that keeps the reader interested to see what will come next. Will be reading more, for sure!
Mon, February 24th, 2020 9:30pmFacebook Comments
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Celtic-Scribe63
This was a really good opening chapter.
Mon, November 11th, 2019 10:43amfull of intense gripping moments as Saorsie struggled not to drown, and then some little splashes of humour as well.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author
Reply
Thanks :) The Pirate Monkey inspired me a lot on this story. Hopefully I can get it all written and uploaded in short order.
Tue, November 12th, 2019 8:04pm