Jessie Lived In The Cave

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

Douglas Balthazar has been plagued by dreams of a memory that he just cannot escape from. He has been attempting get passed it for his entire life and now he is seeking professional counsel.

(I do not own the cover picture)

 Humanity is not that which stands atop the laws of reality, no; they are those that seek to answer questions whose answers sit within the reach of only immortal things. He had reached out to them, the rational mind of man rejected all semblance of this fact, but where the mind refuses to trek, for the simple reason of self-preservation the soul of man is unperturbed.  The will of a mortal man is synonymous with a devouring blaze, it eats and eats until it devours all within its path and dies. His soul was a gluttonous thing, there was a wall that his mind refused to tear down, it blocked his subconscious, protecting his sanity from his soul’s desire, from the curse of remembrance.

“I feel like a child, Antoinette” he offered her a smile, an attempt to sway his lovers anxious heart. She gave in; he seemed so at ease, so she let herself fall into the luxury of positivity. But he could feel them, calling out to him, in his mind, in his memories, it sat there, it screamed to him: ‘Remember me!!!! Remember me!!!!!’ Jessie would not be forgotten. He had not found himself in a psychotherapists chair since he was teenager, the nightmares had gone, he slept soundly now alongside his wife. Lately though, he found himself scared to close his eyes. Whenever the lights would go out, he would feel Jessie closing in on him from outside his door. That ever lurking presence just out of sight, always watching in the corner of his room, outside his window. Perhaps when he is sitting in his room Jessie is just behind his back, looking over his shoulder, creeping slowly up behind, so close the breath of her sudden whisper could tickle the hairs on the back of his neck.

He skipped out on work this morning and took the chance to sleep, the relapse started about a week ago. He and his wife worked similar hours, with her coming back home 2 hours after him at around 7PM. They spent a lot of time together due to that fact, he enjoyed the company at night, and they got to sleep together which was a treat for both of them, he always slept better with her there. Last Monday he just could not forget it. He did not know what it was, but he just remembered Jessie, it was always there, right at the edge of his bed, staring at him, whispering to him whenever he closed his eyes, whenever he let his consciousness fade to slumber Jessie was there. He could hear Jessie in his thoughts, in his dreams.  Jessie was a disease that constantly plagued him. Tonight though, he would fix this, so he could be of use to his family once again.  He waited for Antoinette to come back home so that she could be there with him; to ease her own mind. She held his hand as they sat in the waiting area. There were 6 other bodies there with them. 1 elderly woman and what looked like her husband to the right of where they sat, directly in the center of the long row of 1 dozen chairs.  To the left was 1 woman who looked to be in her thirties, one young girl who looked to be a teen and a young boy playing on a handheld game.  Far off on the last chair, isolated from everyone else was 1 middle aged man.

The room was a mess of gray, the color seeming to paint the soul of the group with a brush that tinted them rather bleak. The lights giving a subtle dim white glint that accented the mood in a dry hue. Silence was all that was shared between the partial dozen few, the quiet being interrupted only by the typing of the receptionist at the front desk. Then the call came.

“Mr. Balthazar” The doctor beckoned to him as he poked his head from his office, freeing a young woman from their meeting. The middle-aged man stood and approached her with a pained grin and a kiss on the cheek. Mr. Balthazar stood, and Antoinette took his hand as they went into the room with the doctor.

Mr. Balthazar and Antoinette both followed the doctor into the room, the office was well lit, decorated in the same gray walls and ceilings as the remainder of the office outside. The floor was a thick gray carpet, the lights were bright white which seemed to somehow put the two visitors at ease; perhaps it was a type of psychological trick. Dull the mood of the patient with a dim unhappy atmosphere, before showing them a similar setting with a brighter tone, associated with their doctor, maybe that is what made Mr. Balthazar trust this man when he asked him questions.

“I am Dr. Francis” The Doctor offered, he had this smile that reminded of a father’s loving air, Mr. Balthazar remembered his time as a child, his heart fluttered as he looked to the man and then he felt as though he wanted to weep. Dr. Francis’s voice gently rested on Mr. Balthazar’s soul, and he could tell it plucked at the strings of Antoinette’s heart as well. They looked to this man, a genuine saint if ever there was one, they had not known him for more than a few seconds but they were ready to lay down their burdens before him and purge their souls every sorrow from within.

“Is it fine if I call you Douglas?” Dr. Francis inquired, and Mr. Balthazar nodded.

“Of course,” Mr. Balthazar agreed

“You can call me Tom if you like” Dr. Francis offered them, before gesturing to the couch just beside his desk. The room was decorated with random pieces of artwork and paintings. There was Tom’s Doctorate right behind his desk chair that sat opposite the couch, which was just adjacent to the room’s door. There was a tall bookshelf that just barely avoided scratching the ceiling beside the room door, it was filled with psychology books and books on human relations. Douglas and Antoinette took their seats as Tom closed the door and made his way to his desk chair, looking to them with that smile that spoke of two old friends meeting for a weekend of fun and love. He loved them it seemed and they both wanted to show him the courtesy of reciprocating that love now.

“So…I guess you read those documents I sent you” Douglas began as silence was beginning to fall between the three. Antoinette gripped her husbands had tightly as she felt him begin to tremble as he spoke. She was there, she wanted her rock to know that she was still there, she would not let this storm break him. He glanced to her, holding fast to his resolve, in his mind, he did it for her sake, he did not want her to know he felt weak, he wasn’t a weak man.

“I did” Tom offered. “Jessie, the name comes up a lot in your records. But other than a few mentions of the name, it seems like there isn’t much detail”.

“That about sums it up sir” Douglas attempted a snicker, but it came out as a pained breathe. The thoughts of Jessie came to him like so many shards of broken glass, raining down from up high and down upon his exposed brain, jamming in with jagged sharp points into the meat.

“As a child she was like an imaginary friend…she was a nightmare that I had every night, but I could never fully remember the dream. Just that Jessie was there” Douglas explained.

“This is happening again, as an adult?” Tom offered, he looked puzzled.

“Every night for a week, I can never sleep, it’s like a reflex, I wake up terrified –“ Douglas began before his wife interjected.

“He sleeps occasionally… 3 nights ago I woke up to him sobbing, he kept repeating that name before he cried out, he looked like he was in pain, so I just woke him up”.  She was breaking, not because she was terrified, not because she was tired, but she just did not want to see this man, whom she loved so dearly in such pain. “He muttered something most nights….’We can’ or ‘We cannot’ but I really don’t remember” she could feel her eyes begin to pool, her struggle to keep composed was beginning to fall from her favor, she was going to break. Douglas could feel it and, so he readied his own resolve, he was her mountain and he would not break.

“I didn’t know any of this…..Doctor…or Tom, am I going full on Michael Meyers or what” He wanted to make light of it, he was hoping maybe a few sleeping pills and a few appointments and he would be cured, just like when he was a child.

“This seems similar to when you were a child. In many events there may be an underlying trauma that your mind is forcing you to forget” Tom began as he lifted his hand in representation. “Your mind in many ways is its own separate entity, working in the benefit of yourself, to preserve your life and health, it’s a reflex really that works day and night. Since it is separate in many ways from you, you still have control of your own actions; the dominant force, but it can protect you from you. Certain trauma’s that may be too dangerous can and will do harm so it will build a wall; memories, unimportant distractions, data that just shouldn’t be input into you all get put behind this wall. But sometimes something happens that can trigger a memory”.

Douglas looks to him, he honestly never thought of his brain as a separate entity from himself, but truly this intrigued him. “Would remembering what happened that day help me with sleeping?”

“Possibly, if you knew what happened perhaps It could help you work through it, as an adult you should be able to see and understand what happened during that time and move passed it which is always better than fighting the pain and pushing it away”.

“I guess that’s why we came here then” Douglas attempted to hide a grin, he was expecting drugs and appointments and that was it, but the chance to remember who Jessie was, he was excited, his mind filled with so many possibilities, an old friend, a family member, a dog.

“You signed the consent forms for the Non-Routine therapy and from what my assistant has expressed, your insurance covers you in full” Tom gave an even brighter smile than before. “Douglas if you do not mind laying back for me, you can put your head in your wife’s lap if you would like”.

Antoinette looked to her husband.

“Please” she begged with her eyes, it would make her feel as though he were safe in her care, she would not let anything harm him.

“Okay” he said and positioned himself so that he could straighten out and lay his head back on her lap. She held his hand with one of hers and massaged his cheek with the other. The couch was long enough that it allowed him to stretch out comfortable.

“Douglas, I want you to close your eyes, you are going to hear a ticking sound, focus on the ticking and nothing else, and when I speak follow my instructions” Tom spoke and Douglas nodded. The ticking began as Tom pressed a remote that activated a speaker, it was low and clear, a subtle sound that once focused on put Douglas at ease. Nothing else existed save for the sound of the ticking and the darkness behind his closed eyes. He could hear nothing, he could feel nothing, he could only hear the ticking, after a while he felt like he could see it, like little ripples of water upon the body of the blackness. He could feel it across his body, within his soul. Ticking, ticking, ticking, ticking and then:

“You’re a child again Douglas” the voice broke through the darkness and Douglas was a child. “You are in your childhood home and it is the night of the first time you see Jessie”. Douglas was 6 years old and he remembers that it was not a night, but it was a day. He was walking home from school, he was excited because his friend promised that he would let him play his new video game that following weekend. He was running home to ask his parents if he could go. The sun was beaming down, the air was moist and warm. He was happy, he just wanted to burn all of that energy he had inside of him, and then he saw it.  Around him there were the woods to the side, near Fort Lonesome going toward his home. All of the houses were owned by the families that lived in them, built into the woods, trees surrounding every home, every family. It was a little country town in Florida.  The forest devoured everything there. He walked along the side of the road, just out of reach of the few speeding cars that raced by, the side walk was fairly thin with barely enough room to fit 2 bodies.

He saw Jessie there, she was a dog, a tiny little Miniature Pincher, sitting in the woods. She was black with thick matted hair. He felt sorry for her, she looked sickly. He could see the flies surrounding her, landing down to drink her blood, fleas and ticks burrowed deep into the hair on her back….No that wasn’t right. She was a girl, a tiny girl, younger than himself. She looked to be a toddler, in the woods, standing, staring at him as he walked by the forest, just outside of the old gas station that sat at the edge of the road, about 2 miles from his home. Or maybe he saw the girl and the dog, he remembered that there was a girl, and there was a dog, they sat there in the woods, watching him, they both had….eyes, their eyes they were….they were.

“Douglas, tell me, what do you see?” Toms voice echoed through the reality of his childhood memory inciting his mind recall the moment. He willed himself to see it, his mind at the mercy of Tom’s request. He saw it there, that thing, that wretched fiend that plagued his every slumbering thought, that thing beyond the wall of his psyche that even now caused his very soul to cry out in fear. Certain things should not be realized by the mortal mind and thus this fiend fell into that fact.

“I see her” he began, unconscious of his own desires to do so.  “It…she…….” he began, he wanted to speak but his mind quickly regained control of his own will. The wall remained and thus his memories changed. He was now in the woods, night had fallen and he was still a child. He did not know what day, he did not know what time, he did not know the date or if this even happened while he was alive.

“I do not know where I am” he began, “This isn’t me, but it’s there”

“Douglas, what is it?” Tom asked calmly, hiding his curiosity behind the mask of his practiced professionalism.

“I don’t remember this happening –“ Douglas started before the flashes of that nights reality came to him, as Jessies, own will seemed to breakthrough, he remembered the voice that spoke to him that afternoon as he walked home:

“I wish to teach you child” was what it said, the voice, it was not like any voice he had ever heard. There were so many tones, and so many pitches, it echoed in his brain like 1 million voices all whispering to him at the same time. The dog, or the girl or whatever it was stood there as he walked by staring at him and speak into his head. Then……he could not remember, he did not want to remember, it hurt so badly.

“My head hurts” Douglas began.

“It’s okay Douglas, we’re here with you” Tom said.

Antoinette placed a hand on her lovers’ chest, feeling his heart pounding violently, he was panicking, but she was sure that this was for the best.

“Jessie, it’s not a dog” Douglas, began

“Douglas –“ Tom began before his patient began to scream out, his panic overwhelming as he flailed about! His elbow slamming into his wife’s chest so powerfully that he knocked the wind from her lungs! Douglas could see it, he could see it all! He remembered! He saw the thing, he saw it clearly! His mind opened to him, unable to keep the secret any longer!

He was a child of 6 when he first witnessed it, standing in the woods, the fiend so grotesque that the human mind was unwilling to fathom its visage without shattering at the first sight. Its voice that transcended our realities perception could only echo as a thought in mortal minds. But he heard it, it chose him, it taught him things that he was not supposed to know.  He did not want to know! He looked at it as it stood in the woods, to passersby, he was sure they could not see it; their fragile minds blocked that moment in time from their very memories and to them. The event never happened, just as to him he had seen nothing but a tiny dog at time, and at times he saw nothing but a girl, and other times he saw nothing but a girl with her dog, whenever he tried to remember. The creature, it was large, his mind registered the smell of the thing, as that of a sickeningly thick smell of cinnamon at the time, although in his memories, now that he remembered it he knew that it was the smell so horrid, like hundreds upon hundreds of road kill carcasses left in tiny closed off room to decay. He wanted to vomit at the thought of the creatures’ noxious stench, yet he refused, his mind flickering back to the smell of cinnamon every so often as the memory of the creatures true stench became overwhelming to his mind.

The being should not have existed in his reality, he knew that, it was nothing but a mass of flesh, a ball of gelatinous flesh, the color of which mesmerizes him even to this day as he reminisces  upon this things likeness internally. A phantasmagoric tint that seemed to dance upon the body of the creature, a color of which did not exist in our reality as he knew it, as a child and even to this day. Even in memory his mind cannot grasp the color of this being, switching from browns, to greens, to silver, to yellows and blacks. It was a spectrum of which his mind could not comprehend. Tendrils of what he assumed to be flesh jutted out from the bottom of the mass of this phantasmagoric mass of existence, on the left a thick tendril fell to the ground and slithered, pushing it along as it shambled toward him. On the right was what looked to be a large human hand, the fingers facing behind the creature, toward the forest. The hand was equipped with 4 fingers and 2 thumbs, but anatomically he could tell that they were in fact human fingers and opposable thumbs, his life time as a human had at least taught him that much. These two appendages seemed to act as its legs, as the tendril pushed the hand would move like a foot, upward and then downward carrying it along, with a thick slap onto the ground, gradually. Smaller, shorter tendrils, he could count 8 in total jutted out and wriggled in miscellaneous directions of this creature’s body, in the back one long one wriggles and writhes, as if it was its own sentient existence and was acting independent of this gelatinous existential mass of color and flesh. On the top of its being, he could see another human hand hanging lifeless by the wrist, to the front of the being were two tiny fleshy tendrils that wriggled like tiny worms. On the sides he could see tendrils slithering in and out of this creature’s flesh, like serpents slithering through the sea. Each aspect of the creature’s anatomy was tinted in that strange phantasmagoric color that he could not explain.

The creature moved toward him and he remembers that his heart immediately went to panic, he could feel adrenaline rush throughout his body, more so than he had ever felt before, and that was when his mind shattered. He began to scream, then he didn’t, he stopped and smiled as he realized that he was afraid for no reason because he saw a little girl. He knew it was not a girl now, although at the time his mind told him that it was and now he knew why. A tendril reached out from within the mass of flesh and grabbed hold of his wrist, pulling him along, and he followed. The creature told him its name, but at the time all he heard was: “I am Jessie” but the creatures true name, its horrible name, he could not pronounce it even if he tried.

“Douglas what do you see!” Tom cried out, his curiosity now growing as panic began to set in, Antoinette attempting to hold her husband down as he flailed around, attempting to fight away the flood of memories that began to flow into his mind. They were out of sequence, they were nonsensical at times, but he knew what happened, he knew where it all started. Throughout the years that thing would come to him as child, in the night it would be at his bed side, in the day it would intrude into his family home. It showed him realities of life, it taught him forbidden knowledge and horrible truth’s. No man was supposed know these things! No man was supposed to see what he saw as a child! His parents, whenever they saw it, their minds would immediately lock the memories away, yet Douglas, he saw it, he knew it existed and it would take him, pulling him away to its home. It was deep in the forest, further than any man would go, many times he and friends would begin down that path in their childish curiosity and then they would stop, the would hold fast and they would turn away. He knew now that it was simply natural instinct, their minds, their souls, even as children they knew that something lived there, something that would endanger them all, and now he saw. It was tired of waiting for one of them to come by, so it came for them. Douglas remembered that it would take him to that cave, and often he would see a child that he knew and often times he would not, for years this thing came to him. The name that he could not pronounce, the name that he did not want to remember but….he did:

“I am Aber-Dapradvor, I am the Ascended” the name, he knew it was not correct, he knew the name could not be comprehended in this realities language, yet his mind remembered it as this.

“Aber-Dapradvor!” Douglas cried out, “Jessie! I can’t remember!” he cried out, he wanted to warn them all, he needed to warn them all! The truth! They cannot know the horrible truth!

“WE SHOULD NOT KNOW IT !!!!!” he called out to them “WE SHOULD NOT KNOW IT!!!!!!!” he cried as the truth finally came to his mind, as the creatures true name was spoke to him within his head. Its influence was near, even now he could see it coming to his marital bed as he and his wife slept, pulling him from his bed and taking him back to that cave in Florida, his wife crying out as she attempted to stop it, only for her mind to shatter and lock the reality of this creature away and fade back to sleep. He was sure he was gone for days, weeks even, yet not a single person could comprehend that he had vanished and then the next day would begin again as if nothing happened.

He opened his eyes as the truth flooded into his mind, he knew it all! He knew everything! He could remember the truth! The horrible secret of all of reality that that being had been trying to teach him! He could not tell them, he refused to allow them to know! He cried out: “WE SHOULD NOT KNOW!!!!!” declaring to the fiend that he would not allow its knowledge to plague those he loved most, before he closed his jaws with as much force as he possibly could muster in his frenzied state, slamming his teeth on his tongue, nearly severing it in two. The adrenaline in his blood numbing the pain, allowing him to have the resolve to open up again before the two around him could move to stop him, giving him the chance to bite down again, tearing half his tongue from his mouth. Blood filled his throat, the pain coming all at once! The front of his tongue falling down on his chest as blood spilled out around him! The realization of his action hitting him all at once as his body began to violently shake and seize! He could see the flashes of Jessies knowledge before him, he could feel himself ascending, he could hear Jessies voice drowning out the sounds of the reality around him! Douglas was fading from this existence and as he faded he could see Jessie entering the room, everyone around panicked but not because of Jessie, they panicked because of Douglas’s actions, the creature grabbed his seizing body and carried him away:

“Knowledge” was all it spoke to him as it took him away to that cave in Florida, repeating that same phrase.

Submitted: November 29, 2019

© Copyright 2023 Thoughts Before Rem. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:



Wow. What a way to mark your return! Excellent work, J K (that's going to be my new name for you).

Fri, November 29th, 2019 9:49pm


Oooohhhh thank you for reading Hully it feels so good to be sharing my writing again. I feel like myself again lol JK I like it, I just wish my last name was rowling (lame joke).
Thanks for the comment love

Fri, November 29th, 2019 7:07pm


Nice little horror story. I like that you add at the therapist and the Hipnosis. Not so sure I like that he died but, shit happens.

Sat, October 1st, 2022 2:54pm

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