The Modern Shrink Part 1 (Reflections)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
The subjective truth surronding this crazy life we all are apart off. The self pro claimed shrink understands how real life is, not just some theoretical BS from the early to mid 1900s. Ask and you will we answered. Enjoy.

Submitted: November 30, 2019

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Submitted: November 30, 2019

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This is the first insert of hopefully many more to come. Being the first I do appreciate your patience. Obviously i have not acquired my personal style. Furthermore i need to add that english is my second language. So trifling misspellings i belive you will find in your heart to ignore. With feedbacks i will be able to adjust both topics and perhaps find a style of writing most suitable this bookseries/blog.

Without furher ado, here it comes. The virgin post. Or something like that. I guess the true virgin was the draft, whilst the published version is a full pledge non-virgin. In advance i say thank you for your comments.

I guess i should explain shortly why i have choosen the title The Modern Shrink. As most of you probably are aware of shrink is a somewhat funny designation of a psychologist/therapist or such. Professions that demands authorizations to practice in the field of mental health. Shrinking the brain by draining it off difficult thaughts and issues. Off course a gross simplification of the truth. Be it as it will. Psychologists and famiiar professions have their value in our complex society. Just as an reminder: I am not an profesional. If you need professional assistance, seek it. For lesser challenges in every day life, like the once we all carry with us, perhaps we collectively can help one and eachother.

The topics will be many and varied, with mental health as the supreme focal point. All theese factors that affect us in a negative manner. Such as bullying, social medias, peer-pressure, school anxiety or just suffering under body shaming. In this first "blog" the basis will be beauty pressure. Witch includes those trying to capitalize on our insecurities.

Lets examine some popular statement we get from our parents, the educational system, friends and many more arenas. Ideals that sounds correct, but falling into pieces when confronted with real life. Double standards that you possibly did believe in. As a bit of a nerd i made a top 4 list of claims. With a evalutation score ranging from 1 to 10. 1/10 is totally false, whilst 5/10 is difficult to say for sure, true for some and equally false for others. 10/10 is just a fact. Nothing to discuss. I was planing to make a top 10 list, but turns out that i have quite a lot on my heart. It would have taken me weeks to finish that. Time wasted if nobody responses, so i start carefully. 

1. You are unique! 1/10 (Sorry to break the news, you are not!). As early as the very begining, at zygote level, when the mans sperm celle meets up with the womans gamete this claims lifts of from all common sense. The person we are born as consists off genotypes, genevariations inherited from mom and dad. While the phenotypes is what is expressed. Monogenic inheritance results for the most part in blood types. Or polygenic inheritance where factors like hight, IQ or eye color is a combination of the genotypes. No matter what, all this proves that we are not unique. From the get go all our making is from someone else, our parents. Later in life with accumulated experience we add outer factors such as media, friends and school. The world around us dictates our thought process. If you you try to figure out why you think the way you do, you will find it difficult to find the source. Part of the reason for that is this misperception of uniqueness. We believe that our thaughts are unique. They are not. Every single bit of you comes from others. The key is to understand the difference between uniqe and important. I guess many people confusses being unique with being important. Having an inate importance as a human being. The way you treat others may very well make you important, even if your body and thaughts are not unique. 

 2. You are beautiful as you are. 2/10. If all human beings was females the score would be 1/10. But as we biologically do have two genders among us the score is lifted to a more honorable 2/10. Funny enough this is a matter spoken the highest and most about amongst women. The claim that you are beautiful as you are, without make up and other tweeks. At the same time as this quite sensible claim we know about the fashion and beauty companies which are separately and combined multi billion businesses. If you think about it; how often do you meet a girl above the age of say 13-14 years old who has not tweeked her appearence? Those who dare to fight against this type of pressure will be talked down to. Treated like some freak. Dry shampoo, daycream, powder, rouge and what have you. Off course their are men that uses beauty products, but for the sake of simplicity i focus on women. Afterall women are the driving force behind this unhealthy trend. Solariums are proven to increase the chances of getting skin cancer. Still it is more popular than ever. Purely because off superficial reasons. Teeth bleaching has no medical foundation to support its excistents, all about the aesthetics. The list of examples is long. To long. Other examples are without further elaboration; pedicures, fashion magazines, social medias giving a false image of reality, having a favourite look (!!!). All I lie.

3. All are equally worth. 6/10. This one is more of a challenge to properly judge. All life is inviolable. I totally stand by that. Death penality given by the state is simply wrong, regardless of the crime. What about homosexuals, the religious, women, childen mentally disabled, physical disabled and the elders? We learn that all people have the same worth, regardless off congenital or acquired traits. In the western society it is ok to be gay. In fact at such a degree that it is not social acceptable not to praise their lifestyle. Which shows that the chase for a society free of unprejudiced still is in a maturation phase. Just to be clear. I strongly belive that inate traits like being gay or having Downs syndrome should be treated as normal. Neither tells us anything about their personality. Anyways, we do not treat eachother as truely equals. How many with white skin has a dark skinned boyfriend? Perhaps normalized in bigger cities, but still something we notice. How many with Downs syndrome is in your circle of friends? Is it really accepted to be gay? I would say no. Just ask yourself this; If you are straight, at what age did you come out of the closet? How many times have you felt the need to hide your sexual orientation? Probably never. Prejudice can easily be laughed at, calling it stupid. That would not be very helpful. Excluding people with different opinions than the majority is proven to lead us to a dark place. 

4. Asian women are coming to richer countries to marry men for their money. 5/10.

This claim is close to my heart, and proven difficult to fully prove or disprove. First of all perspectiv is king. Asia is enormous. Both China and India has more than 1 billion inhibitants. Quite a few asian city have populations larger than whole countries. Poverty and gender equality in most asian countries is quite different than in our western sphere. Like being poor in Dhaka, Bangladesh is a struggle between life and death. There is no state to protect them. The gender equality in places traditionally sending women for this type of marriages (philipines, Malaysia, Myanmar) is weak. Patriarchaly societies where the man is supreme leader, no matter his age or qualifications. The limited options for women combined with the lack of equality plus western mens willingness to exploit is the answer towards why asian women is a more and more prominent fixture on our streets. 

So, is horny white men the sole reason for this coercion similar situation? My heart wants to say yes. My experience points the other way. The problem is social, as in the societies they come from. Expectations to find a male provider. For the last 3-4 years i have helped men and women from different countries to get an education. Including mastering the language and cultural understanding. Again and again i have preached that the ideal in this western world is equality. In every shape and form. Men and women are afterall a lot more alike than different. 

In my experience their are clearcut geographical differences regarding the womens expectations to their new existence. Regardless of being immigrants or asylum seekers. Those women from places like Eritrea, Iran, Colombia, Nigeria, Latvia and China really do want my help to gain an education. They understand my role. I am not there to help them financially. My role is in the line of unskilled teacher/advisor/mental coach. In return i require nothing at all. Be it vocational studies, high school or university. Time-consuming but totally worth it. But asian women from the mentioned countries Philipines, Malaysia and Myanmar has other hidden expactations. Talking about how much they desire a independent life, getting education and a job. Soon it becomes perfectly clear that they really actually seek a provider. Men than can provide them with money. Providing sex in exchange. This is my personal experience. With a heavy heart i hear myself saying "no thanks" to otherwise excellent opportunities. I simply can not get myself to take advantage of people in a difficult life situation, no matter how legal or voluntary it may be. To me it is voluntary coercion and thus morally condemnable. Would theese beautiful women offer themselves to me without the before mentioned factors playing a key role? Probably not. It is not like we would have a lot in common to further build upon. Borderline sickening to observe middle aged men with usually younger asian women they just happened to click with, continents apart. 

Conclusion: Most asian women arriving to Europe or north-America do have dignity and simply wants the rights and possibilities we tend to take for granted. But... I am afraid that those possibilities gets limited by south-east asian womens lack of dignity and/or (sexual) morals. Some may call it a virtue of necessity. I call in cynical exploitation from the mens side, and borderline prostitution from the side of the woman. 

The end, for now. The day before boxing day, 26th. December, i have decided to limit The modern shrink series to 10 editions. Instead of writing many more, i will let the original 10 grow over time. Adding stuff when it comes to me. So eventhough they are finished, they are still works in progress. 


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