One Heartbeat - Story 6 of When the Walls Around You Fall

Reads: 1340  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 3  | Comments: 5

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reginald and Iri make plans to spend their older years together. In a place that promises peace and no stress. Before he leaves, he has to pass down his throne, he does this with a bit of a heavy heart. He knows that his decision will affect many lives. The lives of those he cares about the most. But Iri convinces him this is the right path to take. As a protector, Iri is with him until the end of his life, but will she find the life she needs for herself? Will the people he involves find their hearts as well? With one decision, many lives will be changed.

Table of Contents

One Heartbeat - a novelette


Reginald and Iri make plans to spend their older years together. In a place that promises peace and no stress. Before he leaves, he has to pass down his throne, he does this with a bit of a heavy
heart. He knows that his decision will affect many lives. The lives of those he cares about the most. But Iri convinces him this is the right path to take. As a protector, Iri is with him until the
end of his life, but will she find the life she needs for herself? Will the people he involves find their hearts as well? With one decision, many lives will be changed.
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Recent Comments

niah

I love this a very happy ending for all

Sat, March 14th, 2020 10:48am

Author
Reply

Thank you, I wanted to try something new. Glad you like what you're reading.

Sun, March 15th, 2020 10:20am

simon arthur

That was a cool story. I liked how Reginald and Zena were united and how Ed got a mate for Bella and Argi. I like his Iri was reunited with her mate. The wedding was a nice touch too. It was cool.

Wed, November 18th, 2020 2:31am

Author
Reply

this was a lot of fun to write - im glad you enjoyed this

Tue, November 17th, 2020 7:03pm

Ann Sepino

I finally made it here and somehow miraculously finished reading everything in one sitting! ^w^

I like how this story gives off strong Lion King vibes yet keeps to a unique fantasy concept at the same time. I also like the diversity in the cast of characters, as well as the lore that's associated with the fairy guardians.

It's a little sad that some animals are born bad from birth and don't get guardians because of it. I think they're the ones who might actually need this magical guidance the most, and their receiving such guidance would be a good opportunity to play around with character development. But the current scheme works too, and it leads to a satisfying conclusion.

The story relies mostly on storytelling through dialogue, which is a brilliant deviation from most pieces. It's a good way to show how camaraderie between characters can be dependent on how often they speak to each other.

However, I do notice that most of the dialogues sound somewhat the same. A good way to give characters more defined personalities is by varying their speech patterns, expressions and vocabulary. For example, one character might be prone to always ending their conversation on a question, while another might tend to use scientific jargon while talking. Tweaking dialogue to match specific identities not only makes stories feel more engaging, but also more true-to-life.

I hope this overly long comment makes sense. Overall, this is a lovely little peace with a clean, satisfying ending. Thank you so much for inviting me to read!

Sat, December 12th, 2020 9:42am

Author
Reply

Thank you for taking the time to read. I'm always grateful of someone else's time. Your ideas make a lot of sense, I will take a second look at this one and others,

Tue, December 15th, 2020 2:31pm

A.E. Surdam

I loved this. Reginald’s and Zena’s story was beautiful. The use of fairies as guardians was interesting. I felt bad for their son, though. The ending was sweet. I'm happy each animal eventually ended up with a mate. Great job!

Tue, September 14th, 2021 5:12am

Author
Reply

I'm glad you enjoyed this. Using the fairies made this story fun to write.

Mon, September 13th, 2021 10:46pm

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