Memories are really hard to fade out

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

I lost someone very special in my life. I tried very hard to get normal life, but memories are impossible to faded-away. This is short story about an incident which effects life like hell.

In my life's calender there was a day in month of December came. When I got the call from my mom, It was usual call that i thought because I was pregnant at that time. My mother was in hospital for her gallbladder surgery. 

Then We started talking casually-

Mom- how are you, how's your health.

Me- All fine, I am ok.

Mom- I want to tell you something, but you will not tell anyone.

Me- ok, what is that about. why are you so tensed.

Mom- You know, my surgery happened. Doctor came to me after 2days and told me that it was cancer and spreading. They don't know current condition. 

Her voice keeping low and i could feel her fear.

Me- I got like someone pushed me so hard in my head, heart. My legs were shaking. I sat down, make myself strong,not trying to cry.And I started giving her confidence, nothing will happen. you will be fine. There would be cure definitely. You are in good hospital, that one was biggest cancer hospital only.

We disconnected the call.

I was staying far, only by flight i could reach her. 

I want to see her, hug her, cry with her.

what to do.. I was blank.

In midnight, I woke up and sitting in different room alone. Whole night I cried. Only my mom left with whom I could share anything. Husband is there, but mom replica is not possible in this world or on earth. Your mom is there who really loves you alot, even you fight with them,they will never ever say that you should leave them or they will leave you.

I tried to think all options to get all help to her. I was feeling really helpless.

I discussed next day to my husband, but my husband asked to doctor. 

I was facing depression and 7month pregnancy. doctor simply said no.

I have this pain to me for 1month, because I couldn't share with anyone. 

Then her next surgery happened after 2months and it failed. Now everyone got the news that she has cancer.

My baby came with the news of my mother's surgery. It was awful that i want to be happy for my baby but want to cry with my mom. My in-laws came and making more tortures for me. 

Everytime giving me example of someone died from cancer and all. Even all relatives started calling and telling it's ok if your mom dies.

I was brokenhearted, couldn't see anything good. Memories with wet eyes. how she did everything for me. My shopping, my festivals, she cared a lot all of my happiness. My pain, my joy everything I shared with her. And i am not with her in this moment.

I took the decision and took train for 48hr to reach her with my 15days baby.

I reached and went to see her. I couldn't hold myself to see her.

1yr back-

When i met her last time, she was 60kg healthy lady. she hugged me and kissed me so tight. She was so happy for my decisions, my life. Everything she was enjoying. Even though she was alone, and lost her husband my dad.

And Now-

She was walking half bent. She had one support in neck, one in back and holding my uncle for walking support. What the hell, she looked like a skeleton. Her eyes were coming out.She wanted to smile to see me, but she started crying. I was stopping myself to cry, so she should not cry. I went to hug her. To feel my hug, she screamed in pain. My uncle told she has bone cancer, it spread so fast after surgery and her bones are not able to hold any weight. So i can't hug her. Even touch also, I should see before giving her pain.

Oh god, what phase it is. She wanted to see my baby. 

She wanted to carry him in her lap. I also wanted to pass him. We adjusted all pillows. She was holding partially. She was in pain. Then she started weeping, I became that noone should be.I can't hold my grand child. What are the curse i have got.

She was weeping and i was crying badly. My uncle came and shouting on me that i should not make a scene, i should not make her cry.

What i should do...

Really can't explain that pain which after 4yrs in writing can still feel in my heart. like some heart ache.

She left us after 6months of her surgery and give memories which i want to recall.

Her touch, her soft hand touch on my cheek, when she consoled me and said- I will be with you always. but she left me alone with those memories that make me cry anywhere..

When i start keep thinking about her..

Memories nevery faded out, it gives you heart ache, gives you smile, gives you tears..

I wish, noone get those bad heartaches..

 


Submitted: December 12, 2019

© Copyright 2021 hrit. All rights reserved.

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