Adham

Reads: 1146  | Likes: 10  | Shelves: 7  | Comments: 41

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Adham has dedicated his life to his family. After 32 years, he travels back to his country in an attempt to rediscover himself and everything he left behind. However, his newfound feelings for Thalia, a spirited young woman, push him to question his fate and everything he achieved.
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Cover photo by unknown. Edited by me.

Author notes:
- This story has Arabic words as it takes place in an Arab country.
- I do not condone romantic betrayal.

Table of Contents

One


-If you haven't, please refer to the summary blurb before this chapter. -An oud is a lute-type stringed instrument predominantly found in Arabian music.
Read Chapter

Two

“So, how long are they expecting you to fill in?” I heard the faint sound of a knife hitting a cutting board. Nadera was making l... Read Chapter

Three


-A "furn" is a bakery. Furns specialize in the "man'oushe" which is a popular breakfast meal. -The goblet drum (also "derbakeh") is a single head membranophone with a goblet shaped body used mostly
in middle-eastern music.
Read Chapter

Four


-The "daf" is a large Persian and Arabic frame drum used in popular and classical music. (Last one lol)


Update (9 Feb 2020): This chapter was taken down and edited again. I hope you like the new improvements! And as always, I'm open to suggestions.
Read Chapter

Five


This chapter was inspired by my visit to the Grand Sofar Hotel. Yes, it's a real place! I attended the art exhibition in October of 2018, and everything described in this chapter is as seen with my
eyes. Of course, the people are fictional and the poem is written by me.
Read Chapter

Six

We ordered two slices of apple pie with milk coffee. I’d skipped my morning jog that day. It was still mid-morning, and the coffee shop... Read Chapter

Seven

The vast Bekaa Valley welcomed us with fields of wheat, fruit trees, and vegetation as far as the eye could see. The sky was clear,&nbs... Read Chapter

Eight


Editing this took like 3 days because I am oh so tired. Sorry for the delay! -I couldn't find a proper definition, but "nammura" (or semolina cake) is a dessert that's popular in the Middle East.
Read Chapter


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Recent Comments

avatar

Keke Serene

Very nice start, sweetheart! I definitely get the feel that Adham's trip will be more than he bargained for. Excellent imagery with the atmosphere in the bar! And the description of her eyes was beautiful- very poetic. I really like Adham's voice, it reads very real and down to earth. Also, the dialogue is obviously painful aha! Looking forward to reading more of this! I'm so happy to be reading more of your writing!

Wed, January 15th, 2020 12:51am

Author
Reply

That was how I intended his voice to be like; he's a calm, level-headed person. As for his dialogue with Thalia, it is a tad awkward but it was fun to write lol. I wanted their first encounter to be realistic, like any two strangers who would find themselves in that situation. And to answer your question in the iComment, he was naturalized in the US. You'll find out more about his past throughout the story. I think my favorite part about writing this book was developing his backstory.
Thank you so much for reading, sweetheart! :D

Wed, January 15th, 2020 7:23am

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Jeff Bezaire

This already is worth the headache and effort you've put into it!
The narrative voice is strong, authentic. The right amount of detail paints enough of a picture without getting flowery, keeping the perspective true.
Everything feels natural. I like how nothing that happens in the character's perspective is explained - too often, writers explain why something happens as if to justify or make it crystal clear, but there's no need to explain why he's bleeding from the nose or why Thalia vomited. Everything flows beautifully.
Already, something special is developing between Adham and Thalia. I like the reference to her honey-brown eyes. A lovely description that certainly captures her allure. The distance between them seems to do more to draw them together. A few chinks are already showing in Adham's knightly armour and the final paragraph does a wonderful job of hinting at future cracks.
I like how it's something innocent that's stirring his affection, not primal - a memory of day's passed, rather than the curve of her body or some form of sexualization. Already, there's sympathy developing for him.
Outstanding first chapter!

Wed, January 15th, 2020 9:05pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! Now that I've gone through the finish line, I'm editing everything down to a tee.
I think the best writing lesson I learned is that a story is a moment in time. You don't have to indulge in explaining the past or everything in the present. I also wanted to stick to first-person, and it wouldn't make sense if Adham knew what went on when he was gone.
Adham is not a very sexually-driven person, which might be evident further in the story when you learn more about his lifestyle.
Thank you so much! I can't wait till you get to read the rest. :D

Thu, January 16th, 2020 7:02am

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TheGreyUndying

The first thing I liked here was that many things were unexplained. I believe that if everything was explained, then that's the whole story told in the first chapter. You only explained certain key elements, like Lebanon being the third country to join the fold of E.'s Arab departments, to the oud, which itself seems to have quite a bit to do with Adham's backstory. If you can keep telling the novella like this, I think it will be one of your strongest points.
The narrative, is another strong point, because as you are telling it, you are kinda thinking of solutions for any situation. An example is when Adham is thinking of how he will tell his wife that he has to stay an extra 2 weeks, - the narrative is suggesting that being asked to fill in for someone is the perfect solution. You haven't left anything out; it's like the narrative is also an editor.
I will talk about the characters in a different chapter, because I want to see how they develop first. I don't normally do that, but I want to show that I'm fully reading the story.
Your writing just looks so professional. It's so clear to read. You aren't taking risks with styles or anything like that, and I've always loved that about your writing. Mesmerising detail in your words. Your hard work has paid off. This is excellent!

Wed, January 15th, 2020 11:00pm

Author
Reply

The oud does appear multiple times in the story, and it does have something to do with his past. That's all I can say for now lol.
You make some very interesting observations. I actually didn't do all of that intentionally, it's just how the ideas flowed in my mind while I wrote.
Thank you so much for your compliments and for your interest in my story. I hope I won't disappoint!

Fri, January 17th, 2020 10:23am

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AdamCarlton

Good stuff, well-structured and delicate and very readable.

"Guilt" is not a verb in English (it should be!) and there seems no obvious substitute. "It didn't guilt me" => "I felt no guilt" might be the best; or "it didn't faze me" but that doesn't really capture the specifics of guilt. Languages huh?

Sun, January 19th, 2020 2:59pm

Author
Reply

That is weird! I checked Google, and some consider it a verb while some don't. I could swear I've seen "guilt" used as a verb before. I'll edit it, just in case. Thank you for reading!

Sun, January 19th, 2020 10:55am

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AdamCarlton

You're right. It's possible to use "guilt" as a verb. It's not something you see in regular British English - I suspect it's more American teen slang. Not sure your guy is in the right demographic for that ;)...

I'm a native-English speaker and have never seen it in the media or in literary writing. I stand corrected, however! :)

Sun, January 19th, 2020 7:27pm

Author
Reply

Hahaha, you make a good point. I already replaced it as you've suggested, but I'm glad we both learned something new. :p

Wed, January 22nd, 2020 7:31am

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hullabaloo22

What an excellent beginning to a story, Christy. You did a great job of building the atmosphere and a couple of characters too. One thing that really struck me was the natural flow of the dialogue. I'll definitely be back for more.

Sun, January 26th, 2020 8:47pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Hully!

Mon, January 27th, 2020 4:40am

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Robert Helliger

Adham is a great romance novel.
The first chapter is well written.

Fri, January 31st, 2020 5:38am

Author
Reply

Thank you!

Sun, February 2nd, 2020 7:39am

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