Procrastination is an Art

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: The Imaginarium
A very vague description of the thought process in my head - a very short piece that hopefully, other people can relate to in a sense of decision making and second-guessing themselves in all aspects of life.

Submitted: January 21, 2020

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Submitted: January 21, 2020

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 Procrastination is an Art.

 

I am aware that this rant/ getting it off my chest will put me at risk of being a hypocrite as I am guilty of most of the things I see as a problem. An uneducated guess by myself who knows nothing about anything based on assumptions and with no actual evidence of peoples activities, it’s more of an exploitation of everything wrong with myself – in the hope that other people feel the same and have been sucked into this recurring loop – probably to act as a metaphorical shoulder to realize that I am not alone in this.

I am aware that procrastination isn’t exactly a new thing but I find it to be easier to do now. Being brought up in the generation that a mobile phone wasn’t used for anything other than texting and making calls, I feel like I really was able to make the most of my youth/ teenage years – doing stupid things that there is no evidence of now. My Twenties, which is typically a pivotal part of life for the majority of people with a career, family, moving away from home or whatever the case may be, I feel like it has been somewhat wasted. I cannot remember where I saw the quote but I read one online that said;

“Most of your Twenties are wasted by believing that you should have your life together by now.”

Or words very similar to that effect anyway, Whilst I do understand the message that suggests we should go with the flow and maybe just live a little as we are still learning and adapting to the things that life throws at us on a daily basis, surely there’s a limit. I understand it’s never healthy to compare yourself to your peers/ people that you know of but I think it is only natural to do so. Subliminally for me anyway, everything goes hand in hand with age in the way of thinking that people you may know are a small glimmer of hope if they didn’t get their act together until a certain age. In a sense, i guess it could be conceived as flattery – that someone takes hope from someone's bad situation – then again, it could be seen as a slap in the face to the said example. Being surrounded by people who all appear to have their lives in order in their mid-Twenties, subtle pressure is applied to find a path in life – this certain pressure is applied by no one else other than myself. If they are real friends, they wouldn’t care where you stand on the social/ financial ladder and would just support you throughout whatever situation you’re going through but, the fact still remains that observing what they are up to, I can’t help but want to know what that feeling is like for myself.

I put it down to not actually having a clue what I want to do in life. A lot of people don’t. Even my parents told me in their late 50’s they still didn’t know what they wanted to do, so if I utilize the thought process I had before, I am actually doing okay compared to my parents?

This is when I realized that it is not healthy at all to compare to anyone, friends or not as you could locate sadness or happiness whenever you pleased. If for example everyone surrounding yourself had a career, family, children and you were just plodding along from paycheck to paycheck, you wouldn’t find happiness in your peers – so you look on a larger scale. Celebrities have all had their drawbacks and the typical underdog stories – so you could compare yourself to JK Rowling for example – until 31 years old or around that age, she was an average person. Counter to that argument, you could know someone who has been dealt the worst hand in life – homeless or with alcohol problems (for another crude example) and think that you are doing really well in comparison. You will seek what you want to find and apply it to your own thought process. It’s way too vague and not a healthy way to live in my opinion.

Now, I’m not blaming anyone else in any way as it is my own doing but, I must have wasted countless hours scrolling through endless social media posts, refreshing the page in the hope that something mildly entertaining is placed right in front of me. I may sound very cynical and pessimistic as social media is part of everyday life now but people are only going to post what they want others to know about them. A cherry-picked newsfeed of pictures and videos forced together to signify happiness, or at least what a great time they are having. I don’t actively look for fault in things but I tend not to get jealous anymore of people on social media as everyone is apparently a model or professional photographer. As I am guilty of being sucked into hours of scrolling through mindless videos posted online, I can’t have too strong of an opinion of social media being a bad thing. Again, it may be the people I choose to surround myself with but Instagram seems to be a vanity project – which is what led me to log out for the final time.

I believe the opportunities that arise from social media are amazing as jobs are advertised, people are easier to connect with from the other side of the world at the push of a button but I think it could boil down to ‘having too much of a bad thing.’ In no way am I telling people how to live their lives because as i said before, It’s probably more of a self-assessment of myself being the most guilty person of putting off other tasks due to making time to be slightly amused by various posts and articles with a clickbait title to gain more views. In a somewhat lazy/ defeatist attitude, there’s a part in my brain that once I’ve applied for a job/ sent an important email off, it tells me to have a break as I have done my part now and must leave it in the hands of someone else to reply. It’s like taking small baby-steps down a path I think I want to go down or acts like a ‘green light’ to relax for the rest of the day as I have got the important stuff out of the way – thinking of it as a chore rather than something to put my whole focus into in order to better myself. In order to change my ways and prioritize what I deem to be important, I feel I must find a goal and not stop until I reach it and stop thinking of procrastination as a ‘treat’.

There are successful people that I come across or may even know personally which I am happy for but, ultimately my support is masked with a coat of envy as I wish I could find my path in life and aspire to have reached that goal. Another side of this is the people who will try to belittle people for thinking independently or make fun of their so-called friends for trying something new.

It’s like they want no part of the struggle but want to relish in all of the success.

I suppose climbing a ladder in whatever field can be challenging as to maintain the drive and focus needed to be successful is hard and draining. No one seems to recognize the hard work and graft put in to building themselves up and if their personal goal or success is reached – people jump to the conclusion that it’s down to ‘luck’. As these people shouting down people with hopes and goals don’t have anything to focus on in their life, they fail to understand that blowing out someone else's candle doesn’t make theirs shine any brighter.

I’m happy for successful people, as they do what they can to get to where they want to be but until I stop groveling in my own self-pity and analyzing every aspect of my own life and decision made, comparing myself to others and never living in the moment, constantly thinking and worrying about my own future, I’m denying myself what I deem to be the meaning of the word ‘happiness.’

 


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