Life's Crazy Stories

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is one of many stories that I've published on Quora. I have nearly 3- million views on Quora, so I decided to try this to show off my stories.

Submitted: February 24, 2020

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Submitted: February 24, 2020

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What's the silliest crime that a person can go to jail for?
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Jesus Alex Lechuga, Caring for Farm Animals. (2018-present)
Updated Aug 30

You're not going to believe this, but here it goes. A few years ago, I was in a Kroger’s close to Dallas. I was with my girl shopping. I was at the produce section trying out a walnut (which was bad by the way). We paid for our groceries and on our way out the door, this guy walked up to me. He was an aggressive looking guy and I didn't know whether to punch him or run. Anyway, he told me to get up against the wall. I told him that he's got the wrong guy. He started yelling and pulls his shirt up to reveal a hand gun and a wanna' be badge. I complied. The police arrived like twenty minutes later while this bored, trigger happy individual pestered me about stealing produce-the walnut he caught me eating while watching me on his monitors- I couldn't believe this was happening. Anyway, he told the officers that it was protocol to weigh out a pound of produce and charge me with theft. The male officer responded “Are you serious?” The “rent a cop” was intent on busting me for sampling the walnut while my girlfriend was waiting outside the door. I was told by the officers that it was only a misdemeanor and that the charge would most likely get dropped. I advised the officer about my priors and how the DA was going to enhance it to a 3rd degree felony. I ended up waiting 3-MONTHS! They finally dropped the case but I lost my car, my apartment and my job. This is what taxpayers' money is spent on. Most charges don't get dropped and people with priors end up doing a tremendous amount of time for petty crimes.

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 · Answer requested by Tom Frasier
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Josh Grimes, Michael Wallace, Thomas McCaskey and 26 more upvoted this
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Scott Moore

June 9, 2019 · 

153 upvotes
 including Jesus Alex Lechuga, Jason Minett and Thomas McCaskey

Sounds like the security guard was way over zealous to make an arrest. Sounds like a want to be police officer who could not make the force.

Now a days you can go into the super markets in most places and ask to try the product before you buy it. That is what I was taught when I worked for a major ch

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Jesus Alex Lechuga

Original Author · June 9, 2019 · 

31 upvotes

Thank you Scott…

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Judy Gill

June 14, 2019 · 

42 upvotes
 including Jesus Alex Lechuga

Wow! Most places I shop (in BC), have a tray or plate out, set low with cut-up fruit for kids, and in the produce department, during fresh cherry season, a little cup for cherry-pits so people don’t toss them on the floor after sampling. (Some, of course, still do.)

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Robert SchaffrathCanada has different health regulations. When I visit family in the GTA, I like going to Bulk Barn to get things that are difficult to get here in the US. Being able to open the lid on a bin and scoop what you want into a bag or cup is very convenient. But a true Bulk Barn type store in the US is next to impossible due to health regulations requiring packaging, etc. I recall when donating blood they used to have a tray of jelly beans for those who wanted them. They were forced to stop that I found out due to health regulations. You could get small pre-packed jelly beans but no more loose ones. Even traditional salad bars at restaurants seem to have gone away at the places I would go to. Seems the “sneeze guard” was insufficient to protect all the ingredients left out in the open.
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Ele Stewart

June 10, 2019 · 

163 upvotes
 including Jesus Alex Lechuga

Since you had priors that you knew might be held against you, I am very surprised that you took the chance to “sample” a walnut — after all, if every customer walking through that store sampled a walnut, or a piece of fruit, what do you think the rate of theft would be for the store over a month’s t

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Jesus Alex Lechuga

Original Author · June 10, 2019 · 

124 upvotes

I learned my lesson. No more walnuts.

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Jason PattersonGood for you. That is the perfect reply. I certainly couldn't be so contrite and remorseful to a comment like that. I’d give her both barrels! lol!
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Jason Minett
Sep 6

Right, because he has some priors he's not allowed to do the same thing as anybody else. I hate to say it, but the mentality that you are showing right now is exactly what's wrong with our country.

Jesus, you didn't need to stop at all. He wasn't an actual police officer. And had they went and found 

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Sue Ellen Allen

Dec 1 · 

9 upvotes
 including Jesus Alex Lechuga

This happens more than you would believe, an abuse of power, waste of time and taxpayer money. And Jesus lost and lost and lost. Enough is never enough when you have a number.

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Jesus Alex Lechuga

Original Author · Dec 2 · 

4 upvotes

Exactly. I can back you up on this. I've met thousands that are currently doing very long prison sentences. Most of these inmates are doing time because they have priors. A simple theft of retail which should have been a ticket is then enhanced to a felony. This is what lawmakers want because the pr

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Louise Tesoriero

June 10, 2019 · 

3 upvotes
 including Jesus Alex Lechuga

I cannot honestly believe that there are so many people commenting that they believe trying a single walnut in the produce section is outright theft! It is nothing of the sort. There is no intent to steal. The intent is to ascertain wether or not the walnuts were fresh, for the purpose of purchasing

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Anthony Bartos
June 22, 2019

he took a walnut without paying for it

he didnt own it

he didnt ask for it

he didnt have permission to eat it

he stole it

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Dave Davis

June 11, 2019 · 

2 upvotes
 including Jesus Alex Lechuga

Some the false moralism expressed in some of these comments, I find appalling. If you were a charismatic mommy with a small, smiling child who was eating an apple, or even a chocolate bar — this happens all the time, even in Texas I bet — no one in their right mind would have come after you. I belie

 Eve that the security guard was overzealous.


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