Loneliness

Reads: 1527  | Likes: 19  | Shelves: 5  | Comments: 13

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Everybody has been lonely at some point of their life. This is from one point in my life which was very recent.


Photo by Valentin Salja on Unsplash

 

Loneliness

By 

Brian Lee Clements

 

Being alone isn’t what it's all cracked up to be

 

Being by myself and nobody to talk to me

 

Sure, I can go out and do things on my own

 

But sometimes it sure would be nice to hear her voice next to me or even on the phone 

 

It can be difficult when you don’t talk to anybody for a day

 

But you can get things done and find out it also happened yesterday

 

One day there will be a time when that one person comes into your life

 

You will want to tell her how you feel but you’re afraid there would not suffice

 

So you continue on being alone without understanding how things could be

 

If you only opened your mouth and use that key

 

To open her heart and set it free

 

The love is there for you to give out

 

If only you can use that mouth to spout

 

If you don’t want to be lonely for what will feel like eternity

 

Make sure you let her know how you feel if you want a life full of love and quality




 


Submitted: March 17, 2020

© Copyright 2020 Brian Lee Clements. All rights reserved.

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Comments

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Melancholic Wisdom

I definitely felt this one, the pain is being alone can be one the deepest pits you can find yourself in. That's why I try so hard to be people's friend, hell sometimes I'm their only friend, because I never want anyone else to experience that type of pain. Well done, Brian!

Wed, March 18th, 2020 5:36am

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Prism Persona

I am glad you posted this. I also hope she comes your way and that she loves you so much that you’ll forget ever feeling this way! A deep, personal poem. Thank you again for sharing it.

Thu, March 19th, 2020 5:36pm

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Tyrone Shoelaces

Very emotional and moving....

Sat, April 4th, 2020 12:09am

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Nne

sad but true

Sun, May 3rd, 2020 2:08pm

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Flambe

Definitely relatable for me, some people say they rather be alone, but its not what they think it is

Mon, May 4th, 2020 12:18am

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Derina Penn

I loved the lost six lines on how you deal with the loneliness which many people have. Tell what you feel. Thank you for this posting.

Wed, June 17th, 2020 5:45am

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CuriousOne

Beautiful and very moving.

Wed, June 17th, 2020 6:17am

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KIT 78

Good.

Sun, August 16th, 2020 5:57am

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KatV

Loneliness

Good poem. It is so true that we don't let someone know how we feel, we may lose them. And, the price of that might be loneliness.
My only suggestion would be to change "lonely" to "alone" in your first line. Nobody wants to be lonely; some people want to be alone.
So, to me, "Being alone isn't what it's all cracked up to be" might be a more accurate line.
Good work! Write on! : )

Sun, August 16th, 2020 11:41pm

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Harry Little

It is true that in loneliness we are free. But still we feel like to chat with somebody or have someone with us. A nice poem.

Fri, September 11th, 2020 6:15pm

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ASHamilton

Thu, October 1st, 2020 11:44pm

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KatV

Loneliness

Brian, you are writing a beautiful poem here. I can feel all your emotion wrapped up in it. The bones are good, but the rhyme feels forced. Writing in rhyme is so, so hard. I want to share some advice that someone on here gave me (I can't remember who): Try reading your poem out loud several times. Focus on where it isn't rolling smoothly. That's where you need to make adjustments.

For example, I keep fumbling over how to read the 4th line. So, maybe I would try to cut it back without losing my idea. Maybe, something like, "But it sure would be nice to hear her voice next to me or on the phone"

When you edit words out to help the flow, make sure you don't lose your thought or feeling. Find the words that are duplicating your thought. For example, in your 7th line, "One day" and "there will be a time" have the exact same meaning. I think both work equally well. So, if your flow gets stuck here, you can omit one of them.

Someone gave me more good advice on here, and I want to share it with you: sometimes it helps to just write write write, and then go back and work rhyme into it.

Just my thoughts. Take what you need and leave the rest. But remember ....
You have a beautiful poem here. It's sad and from the heart. Love it!
Keep writing. Write....Write....Write.

Fri, October 2nd, 2020 12:42am

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