Dear 10 year old me

Dear 10 year old me,

I am sorry for the pain.

I am sorry for the fear.

I am sorry your innocence is lost so soon.

It has not been long,

But I feel so different.

I can’t even remember you.

I am sorry for the hate.

I am sorry for the tears.

I am sorry for all these wasted years.

I am sorry for the lies,

Created to hide a painful truth.

I am sorry I stopped being you.

Your dreams are dead.

Your hope is gone.

Where the fuck did I go wrong?

I am sorry I cannot seek comfort, for there is none to be found.

I am sorry for all the times I thought “Who would care if I wasn’t around?”

I am sorry to say I lost my joy along the way.

Dear 10 year old me,

I am sorry this letter is 8 years too late for you to ever read.