5:44 A.M.

5:44 a.m.

The light at 5 a.m. seems darker than night

My day starts and ends right here with a sigh

God gave me another day

I’m thankful

But now I’ve got to live it

And so I’m torn

You and that old routine

A man and his plan to die each day until the rain lets up

And it's written in blood and mud

Cup o’ Joe to keep my eyes open

Got to be awake to let the thoughts circle in my mind

I’m still young though right?

Did it already happen?

Is this it?

Did life pass me by?

I mean, how do you know if the damage is already done?

You don’t

You can’t

In this flick, the credits roll with your head

Start your racers boys because it’s time to dance

You fire up a live podcast or a video of some motivational dip stick whose figured it out already

He’s a millionaire stock trader or some real estate flipper

I don’t know, some kind of dolphin

And he’s got you thinking you can do IT

Find freedom

You can have all the time in the world to spend with your family by…..

Just doing what he did

What is IT anyway?

It’s different for all of us

My IT?

Well, I’ve got it down to tech engineer, writer, personal trainer, life coach, real estate agent, actor, stylist, coffee shop owner…..and professional Boxer.

I’ve got options

But they don’t have me

I’ve lost time, years and good sense mulling over a future I’m not sure I even want

What if I don’t want anything from life?

But to give God a hug and tell him I’m sorry…that I owe him a hundred favors

Then I go blank as I do

That sweet nothing that rests between my ears when the good Lord shows me mercy

Rest he calls it

My life rests

And suddenly on that bright country road ripe with rusted ole beaters and ramshackle houses sinking in abandoned fields swoops down a great big brown turkey into the far

A FLYING TURKEY

For a moment, I fancied her an eagle

The way her wings batted the sun, I wondered if the good Lord had come and this super turkey had swallowed the trumpet

Could she soar high enough over my blue machine to gift a stranger a shadow?

I bet she could

And she did

I never saw a turkey fly before

One day they’ll say the same about me.