Why

Reads: 225  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Confused about things that happened in my life.

Why can't I say goodbye ?! Why do I constantly cry ?! 

 

My heart steady bleeds. Continuously being wounded by someone who said they'd protect it.

 

Why can't I say goodbye?!

 

 Why keep trying  to fix someone so broken ?! If he doesn't want to be fixed. He would rather stay broken. 

 

Clearly he cannot be fixed, clearly it's a hit and miss. Clearly I tried.

 

 So why can't I say goodbye? Why do i constantly cry? 

 

Is it too much hope, too much faith. How much more could i take. How much more heartache.

Why can’t I say goodbye? Is it that I prefer to cry?

When I know I’m living a lie, feeling like I’m supposed to die. With someone so evil how could I possibly survive?

 

Why can’t I say goodbye?

The abuse, the torture, has taken a toll on my soul. Deep in my heart I know it’s time to let go. The task is much harder than it sounds. After so many years of being stomped into the ground, it’s hard to know how to get away. It’s hard to know how to stay away. It’s hard to know how to not get sucked back in.

But if I don’t say goodbye, my healing journey will never begin.

So with every broken piece of my mind, body and soul, I will run, because I know I have to let go.

 

I’m strong enough to now understand. I couldn’t say goodbye, because I was a bit more weak. Now I have the strength to stand on my own two feet. To research and attempt to understand. To do my homework and fulfill my action plan.

 

Now it’s a matter of not being sucked back in. It’s going to take work but it’s best for me to work on being whole again.

 

I can now say goodbye and know that


Submitted: April 21, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Doria sanders. All rights reserved.

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Comments

hullabaloo22

A troubling read that certainly reflects how hard it is to escape from an abusive relationship.

Tue, April 21st, 2020 6:57pm

Author
Reply

Right. Thank you for taking the time to read it

Tue, April 21st, 2020 11:58am

bloodman

Good to write this down. Others can understand and remember.

Sun, May 17th, 2020 5:34pm

Author
Reply

Thank you.

Sun, May 17th, 2020 10:37am

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