The Grammar of Love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

If someone says "I love you, but I'm just not 'in love' with you" it's best not to quibble. Just move's over. No...forget about it, she's're toast.

The Grammar of Love

SARA:  John, I love you. I’m just not in love with you.

JOHN:  Sara, I’ve done a little research on this in love business. 

SARA:  I love you as a person. I care about you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.

JOHN: Sara, your logic doesn’t hold water. The word in is a preposition, right? And when you combine it with the word love, it…

SARA: John, it’s over! 

JOHN: Over? But you just said you love me. Sara, if you look at the syntax, inserting the word in doesn’t…

SARA: I’m not debating you, John.

JOHN: We’re having a conversation. You’re not understanding the…

SARA: YOU don’t understand! I’m not in love with you anymore.  It’s that simple.

JOHN: Honey, I’ve talked with several professor friends through email about this and they all say…

SARA: Blah blah blah…I don’t care.

JOHN: I challenge you to find a linguistic expert who would support your position.

SARA: How about this: I hate your guts!  What would your friends say about that?

JOHN: You don’t need to be hateful. And by guts do you mean my gastrointestinal system, my innards, if you will? I need specificity, Sara. You know I’m all about details.

SARA:  John, get this through your prematurely bald head. I hate you!  I hate your guts. I hate your mind…your whole being. You might even say I loathe everything about you.

JOHN: What’s with the attitude?

SARA: I’m leaving.

JOHN:  Do you realize you have contradicted yourself? You say you hate me and yet you also say you love me as a person. If that’s how you really feel, you’ve got some codependency issues you need to deal with. 

SARA: Deal with this: Shut the hell up!

JOHN:  Sara, I would settle for a codependent kind of love. Really…I would.

Sara walks away.

JOHN: Where are you going?

Sara continues walking.

Playing hard-to- get, are we? I’m intrigued.

Sara reaches the corner.

JOHN: Sara, you’re turning me on. I mean it, baby.

Sara turns the corner, out of John’s life forever.

JOHN: Sara?




Submitted: April 25, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Mark A George. All rights reserved.

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