"HEY FAGGOT"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

My life encountering and living with homophobia

In the schoolyard, I hear a boy shout “Oi, Bender Bennett”.

“Why do you hang around girls and not the boys”? “HEY FAGGOT”!

 

The boy doesn’t get it, all he talks about is tits and football!

When I can gossip with the girls on how your dick is so small!

 

Later on, I’m glad school is over and college is it.

Although, for me, I’m still bound, gagged and in the closet.

 

Coming out for me would be my loss and their win,

Because those taunts in school would be a shoo-in.

 

Now it’s much later and at 22 I came out.

Why was it all so much to worry about?

 

However, there ‘is’ a worry, out there now, in the dark lurking.

Of men who think it’s right to go about kicking, punching and jerking.

 

My first was when I was walking home with a friend.

My hair bleach blonde, my clothes, a gay trend.

 

We pay our own minds strolling home from the club.

Union Street is packed; a heterosexual hub.

 

Where hormones are high and fuelled with testosterone.

A particular guy sees me and wants to pick a bone.

 

We pass a crowd outside the pub Jesters,

The one we Plymouthians’ call Molesters.

 

He slides quickly from the crowd, a slithering snake and lout.

The next thing I’m seeing is the floor with a tooth knocked out.

 

Regaining consciousness, crying, what happened? With a fat lip.

My friend says “he came from nowhere, back to the crowd he had slipped”.

 

My Second was walking home alone at 3 am from going out.

A group of lads pass me and say “HEY” in the form of a tout.

 

They’ve already formed an opinion by the way that I’m dressed.

It's pack mentality and now their sworn duty to repress.

 

I said “HEY FAGGOT”, “whatchya doing”, “where are you going?

I tell them “to go FUCK yourselves” and carry on walking.

 

I hear them start running in my direction.

Why didn’t I just use a different inflexion?

 

Why did you open your stupid mouth to speak?

Coz your sick of it Jason, it makes you feel weak!

 

I sprint as fast as I can, for I hear their battle cries.

It sends chills to my bones and fear for my life.

 

I run and leap the bars of Royal Parade, they’re close within.

 Then a car pulls up, opens the door and shouts get in!

 

It’s an off duty female officer with a friendly face.

She says I could see you’re in trouble with that race!

 

Do you want to tell me what that was all about?

No thank you I say. I’d rather not, it was nowt.

 

That’s what we do, we brush it off with flippancy.

It happens so often it seems like normalcy.

 

So she takes me home and gives me her details.

I bless her for saving me from those drunk males.

 

Shouting “HEY FAGGOT” is now a hate crime

But do we report it, only from time to time?

 

With the ‘N’ word we all know what that can trigger.

Say “HEY FAGGOT” and some can just snigger.

 

Could be a day, a week, a month or two later,

That I’ll glide into hate crime like a skater.

 

My boyfriend once reached out to hold my hand and I pulled away.

Coz PDA’s not deemed appropriate, they’ll say we’re gay!

 

I’ll pass a male friend in the city and give them a hug

A group of teens say “huh GAY” coz they know it’ll bug.

 

“YEAH, I AM YOU WANNA PIECE OF IT”?

That actually shut them up quick!

 

That’s why the gay community are claiming that word back.

It’s ‘our’ time to voice out, not take shit and chat.

 

So I end this with a phone call to a friend I have forgot.

“How are you doing?” “Whatchya been up to, hey faggot”?

 


Submitted: May 10, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Blueyez74. All rights reserved.

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