Bloodless Episode 19

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Oliver becomes crueler as his addiction to human blood gets worse. Roy decides to embrace nihilism in the face of misfortune. Sheffield and Tricia negotiate with Charlie to rent the land he owns for the new Davie's Sports Bar. Kelly struggles with her magics.

BLOODLESS

 

“PICTOMANIA”

 

TV-MA DL

 

“I think I lost it- let me know if you come across it. Let me know if I let it fall along a back road somewhere. Money can’t replace it, no memory can erase it. And I know I’m never gonna find another one to compare”

  • Lucinda Williams

 

(We open on Oliver posing on the couch, serious this time, as Kelly adds the finishing touches to her portrait of him. She’s using somewhat brighter colors for his surroundings and Oliver’s skin actually has a bit of glow to it. He’s looking just off-center as if he’s casually listening to someone out of frame. He’s sitting on a robust, almost gothic couch, different from the one he’s actually sitting on, and he’s wearing a UCB shirt and his circular black glasses, just like in real life. Kelly adds just a tiny bit of shading to the couch and steps back from the painting)

 

KELLY: I think this is done.

 

(Oliver gets up)

 

OLIVER: Really?

 

KELLY: Yeah. If I were Bob Ross, I would add a big tree, but I don’t think it would make sense here.

 

OLIVER: Can I see it? (Kelly beckons and Oliver walks over and bears witness to it) Wow. (Kelly shrugs) Stunning. I feel like my essence is captured here, all the way down to the hint of a shit-eating grin.

 

KELLY: You think it’s good?

 

(Oliver puts his hands on Kelly’s shoulders)

 

OLIVER: Yeah, Kel, it’s magnificent.

 

KELLY: I don’t know, if I had the time and inclination, I would just start over.

 

(Kelly walks away and pulls out a cigarette)

 

OLIVER: What are you talking about, it’s fantastic! It captures my charm, my wit, my sophistication, my grit and my lust for life. You’ve depicted me as a Jack Kerouac crossed with Andy Kaufman with just a splash of Gill from Finding Nemo.

 

(Kelly turns around and puts the cig behind her ear)

 

KELLY: Could you have picked three people- or rather, two people and one fictional fish you have less in common with?

 

(Oliver pats his face)

 

OLIVER: Give me a scar, Kelly, I’ll prove you wrong.

 

KELLY: I should just throw this out-

 

(Kelly goes to grab it, but Oliver stands in the way)

 

OLIVER: Are you crazy?! You should sell this!

 

KELLY: No, I don’t think it does you justice.

 

OLIVER: At least keep it! I’ll just put it in the closet.

 

(Kelly rolls her eyes)

 

KELLY: Whatever, I just don’t like looking at it.

 

(Oliver grabs the painting and takes the hallway to the closet, opens it and places it inside)

 

OLIVER: See? It’s in the closet now, where it can’t hurt anyone.

 

KELLY: Throw a sheet over it, I have coats in there.

 

(Oliver sighs, goes and grabs a blanket from his bedroom and throws it over the painting and shuts the door. Oliver walks back to Kelly)

 

OLIVER: Now, here’s what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna NOT destroy our lungs- (Oliver takes the cigarette out from behind her ear and throws it over his shoulder) We’re gonna sit down and have a calm afternoon watching that new Jerry Seinfeld stand-up special.

 

KELLY: I really don’t want to.

 

OLIVER: Me neither, but we’re running out of things to watch, so, gotta watch something.

 

(Roy comes in wearing a mask and holding a plastic bag with a bottle of tequila in it. He puts the bag down, tears the mask off and takes out the bottle)

 

ROY: Guys wanna do shots?

 

OLIVER: It’s 4pm.

 

ROY: 80,000 Americans are dead from COVID. (Roy walks to the kitchen) A right-wing rapist is the Democrats’ nominee for President. (Roy opens up a cabinet) Trump says we need to normalize deaths from COVID. (Roy grabs three shot glasses and returns to Oliver and Kelly) Unemployment is 15%, the arctic is melting and the world is doomed to be ruled by greed, selfishness and cruelty. (Roy pours three shots) Drink up.

 

(They stare at Roy)

 

OLIVER: The fuck happened to you?

 

ROY: Were you there when a person I loved tried to rob me?

 

KELLY: You loved Kenny? (Roy glares at Kelly) Sorry.

 

OLIVER: I feel you, man. That must’ve been hard for you.

 

ROY: Nah, it wasn’t. I don’t think about it. (Roy takes his shot and looks at Oliver’s) You’re not gonna throw away your shot, right, Olvier?

 

OLIVER: It’s weird to be nihilistic while you’re making a Hamilton reference, dude.

 

(Kelly stifles a laugh)

 

ROY: I live with two white people, it was bound to get stuck in my head.

 

(Oliver shrugs)

 

OLIVER: Fuck it. I’m dead already. Kel?

 

(Kelly takes out her cigarette)

 

KELLY: If we’re being nihilistic, I shouldn’t be judged for smoking.

 

OLIVER: Fair enough. (Roy fills up his shot glass and the three of them clink their shot glasses together and go bottoms up. We zoom in on the bottom of Oliver’s shot glass and zoom out to reveal Oliver putting the shot glass down again a few hours later, good and drunk while sitting on the couch with Kelly, while Roy sits across from them in a fold out chair, good and drunk himself, while shirtless) I don’t get what is so constraining about a thin layer of Chinese-made cloth for you.

 

ROY: Man, I’ll throw hands at you if you EVER question me again.

 

(Oliver and Kelly laugh)

 

KELLY: I don’t think you could even aim piss into the toilet right now.

 

ROY: I will fuckin’ sing the alphabet for you if that’ll prove how sober I am.

 

KELLY: Singing the alphabet is so easy even if you’re blackout.

 

(Roy stands up on his chair)

 

ROY: I’M A KIIIIIIIING!

 

(Roy leans toward the swinging fan blades)

 

OLIVER: WHOA!

 

(Roy ducks last minute)

 

ROY: Fuckin, I almost got decapitated.

 

OLIVER: Yeah, dude that would kill me, even, be careful.

 

(Roy sits down)

 

ROY: I need another one.

 

(Kelly lights a cigarette and exhales smoke)

 

KELLY: Help yourself.

 

(Oliver stands up)

 

OLIVER: I gotta see a man about a horse.

 

(Oliver walks toward the bathroom)

 

ROY: What the fuck does that mean?

 

KELLY: I swear, he just likes to say things he hears on TV, like a child.

 

(Kelly ashes her cig as she laughs with Roy. Cut to Oliver stumbling into the bathroom. He takes a second to look at the empty mirror in front of him. He blinks several times as he pulls out his phone, brings up his camera and checks himself out from there. He puts his phone away, ducks down, opens up his cabinets and pulls out a white bucket labeled “Oliver’s Obscure Porn Stash- DO NOT OPEN”. He opens it and reaches into a pile of thumb drives and pulls out a bag of blood labeled “LUDIC, COLTON, TYPE A”. His face goes vamp and he begins suckling at the nipple of the bag, with an intense lust in his eyes. Cut to Sheffield smoking a cigarette on the balcony of his apartment building while talking on his cell phone)

 

SHEFFIELD: So, what does that mean?

 

MORGAN: (On the phone) It means that money will be tight until your dad and I can get other jobs, honey.

 

SHEFFIELD: I, I know that a lot of people are losing their jobs, but how did you and dad lose your jobs within days of each other?

 

MORGAN: John, I’m not sure how you didn’t see this coming. I’m a wedding planner and your dad verifies crowd capacity records for Guinness.

 

(Sheffield takes a long drag on his cigarette and then rubs his eyes)

 

SHEFFIELD: I don’t have much income right now, and not many places to get it, mom.

 

MORGAN: What about that movie you made?

 

SHEFFIELD: It fucking blew.

 

MORGAN: …Do you still want me to watch it?

 

SHEFFIELD: No, mom, you don’t have to.

 

MORGAN: You’re gonna have to find a way to make money, John.

 

(Sheffield stubs out his cigarette on the railing)

 

SHEFFIELD: God, now I’m considering making one of those webcam horror movies like “Unfriended”, what the fuck is happening to me.

 

(Cut to a shot of a Zoom meeting between Sheffield, Tricia and Lindsay Anderson. Tricia is snacking on Cool Ranch Doritos as they talk)

 

LINDSAY: So, in planning for the future, I thought it might be a good idea to go ahead and start building the new-and-improved Davie’s right away. The speed at which social distancing requirements are being eased across the country, it’d probably be ready in time for bars being reopened.

 

TRICIA: (Mouth full) But we’d have to buy the property, like, now?

 

SHEFFIELD: We’re not buying it, right, we’re leasing the space?

 

LINDSAY: Yeah, that would be more cost-effective right now. We won’t turn a profit for a while.

 

SHEFFIELD: Here’s the thing, though…

 

LINDSAY: What?

 

SHEFFIELD: The person who owns that land is a fucking handful.

 

(Cut to Charlie opening up his fridge in his messy-ass kitchen, counters littered with snack wrappers, sodas and blood-soaked cups. Charlie takes out a human arm and sinks his teeth into it. He pulls out though)

 

CHARLIE: Ugh. (Charlie smells the arm) Yeah, this shit coagulated.

 

(Charlie throws the arm into a nearby recycling bin. Cut back to the Zoom meeting)

 

LINDSAY: I’ve dealt with all sorts of people, kid, when I was in New York City, half of all the clubs were mobbed up. I often had to pay protection, and once, John Gotti broke my bartender’s nose for adding a lemon to his drink, and I had to make the bartender apologize to HIM. I doubt this man could phase me.

 

TRICIA: Got anymore names you wanna drop, Lindsay? Did Woody Allen fuck a sixteen-year-old in Annex’s bathroom?

 

LINDSAY: …She was seventeen…

 

(Sheffield clears his throat)

 

SHEFFIELD: His name’s Charlie Lawrence, and he’s not in the outfit or anything, but he’s for sure a criminal, and a violent one. But mostly, he’s just annoying.

 

TRICIA: You never told me HE was the one that owned the place.

 

SHEFFIELD: He’s a stoner idiot, but he’s also, like, a bad guy.

 

TRICIA: So, our landlord is gonna be an outlaw stoner? Are you sure we can’t buy the land?

 

LINDSAY: Listen, if I can deal with Sinatra trying to sever Sammy The Bull’s pinky finger during a poker game, I can deal with this guy.

 

TRICIA: Which Sinatra?

 

(Lindsay bows his head in shame)

 

LINDSAY: …Nancy…

 

TRICIA: Oh shit, I thought you were gonna say Junior, that’s awesome!
 

SHEFFIELD: Should I get in touch with Charlie?

 

LINDSAY: Yes, let’s set up a Zoom meeting with him.

 

SHEFFIELD: Before you go, Lindsay, during your time in New York, did you ever encounter, um…

 

(Sheffield rubs his neck nervously)

 

LINDSAY: Julian Casablancas wasted outside the Four Seasons, you’re damn right I have-

 

SHEFFIELD: No, I mean, have you ever run into a person who is, um…not one?

 

(Lindsay and Tricia furrow their brow)

 

LINDSAY: Like, an animal?

 

SHEFFIELD: You know what, never mind. I’ll DM him and set this thing up.

 

LINDSAY: Sounds good. Let me know when we’re on.

 

(Lindsay leaves the meeting, then Tricia does. Tricia walks in from the other room as Sheffield turns away from his computer)

 

TRICIA: What were you acting all weird about?

 

SHEFFIELD: Nothing, I’m just nervous for meeting with Charlie.

 

TRICIA: What has this guy done exactly? Keep in mind, it’s hard to shock me.

 

SHEFFIELD: He may be a murderer.

 

TRICIA: I dated a murderer for three months last year. Next.

 

(Sheffield stands up and holds Tricia by the shoulders)

 

SHEFFIELD: Sometimes I’m concerned that I may be dating a murderer.

 

(Sheffield kisses Tricia and walks to the kitchen)

 

TRICIA: Yeah, we’ll see about that.

 

(Cut to Kelly lying on the couch, piss drunk, and staring at the ceiling. Oliver and Roy are sitting at the dinner table, drinking and shooting the shit)

 

ROY: I’m just saying, Drake will never make anything more impressive than Take Care, that’s all I’m fucking saying-

 

OLIVER: That is INSANE, Drake hasn’t made anything worthwhile except “If You’re Reading This” or whatever the fuck it was called-

 

ROY: Take Care was before that!

 

OLIVER: I said “except”, not “since”.

 

(Kelly tries to cast a spell on a remote lying on the ground, but nothing happens. She appears confused)

 

ROY: How can you not fuck with “Marvin’s Room”?

 

OLIVER: Because if fucking blows, I don’t know, man!

 

(Kelly tries again, but the controller just jumps a bit)

 

ROY: Even so, there’s no good songs on Nothing Was the Same?

 

OLIVER: I didn’t say that!
 

(Kelly gives up and just reaches for the controller)

 

ROY: Fine, name a song you like off that album.

 

(Kelly turns on the Smart TV and lies back down)

 

OLIVER: I-I-I haven’t listened to it in forever-

 

ROY: You can’t even NAME a song off that album, and you’re tryna claim it sucks? Name a song off Take Care besides Marvin’s Room.

 

OLIVER: Fuckin’ the one with, Li’l Wayne, what’s it called?

 

ROY: HYFR, one of the most popular songs on there, good job, name one other.

 

OLIVER: Fuckin’... is Gucci Gang him?

 

ROY: Fuck off.

 

(Oliver laughs as Kelly gets up and retires to Oliver’s room. Cut to Kelly in Oliver’s room trying to cast a spell on the blinds, but the magic keeps bouncing off. Oliver stumbles in and crashes onto the bed)

 

OLIVER: What ya doing, Kel?

 

KELLY: I’m a bit rusty on magic, I guess I’m out of practice. Every time I try to do it around Roy, he tries to exorcise me.

 

OLIVER: Which is fucked up, considering what I am.

 

KELLY: I know, there’s even a gender disparity in how religious people treat Satanists, for God’s sake.

 

OLIVER: Are you a Satanist?

 

KELLY: No, I just kind of get my powers from him. I use him, really.

 

OLIVER: I can’t believe you would do this, toying with Satan’s heart like this. You frigid bitch.

 

(Kelly rolls her eyes)

 

KELLY: You’re one of his soldiers, right, do you worship him?

 

OLIVER: No, I’m in open rebellion. (Oliver walks toward the door as a ray of fire emits from Kelly’s finger and singes the blinds, as Kelly jumps back and screams) Or maybe I’m dating her.

 

(Kelly looks back and smirks)

 

KELLY: I think I just need to regain control of it. (Oliver nods and walks out the door. Cut to Oliver in the bathroom. He kneels down and pulls the bucket out from under the sink and digs through the flash drives and finds nothing. He angrily pushes the bucket back under the sink and sighs deeply. Cut to Oliver sleeping next to Kelly that night. She’s deep asleep, but he’s wide awake. He rolls over and pushes her slightly, but she stays dead still. Oliver slips out of bed, slips on his shoes and creeps toward the door) Where you going?

 

(Oliver turns around and sees Kelly, suddenly awake)

 

OLIVER: Just gonna pick up some stuff.

 

KELLY: Pick up what, it’s like, 1am.

 

OLIVER: Just some booze.

 

KELLY: We have enough-

 

OLIVER: KELLY! Do I have to tell you about every single action?! I can e-mail you an agenda if you want. (Kelly is taken aback) That’s what I fucking thought.

 

(Oliver leaves. Kelly is left confused and hurt. Cut to Oliver pulling up to the hospital wearing a pair of scrubs and an N-95. He walks up the ramp to the front entrance as a group of medics wheel a homeless man with a knife stuck in his chest up towards the entrance)

 

MEDIC: MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!
 

MEDIC 2: WHO LEFT THE KNIFE IN HIS CHEST?!

 

(Oliver runs into the hospital after that triage zooms through. Oliver walks down the hallway as we hear the grim sounds of coughing and flatlining fill the space. Cut to Dr. Doberman and a nurse, both wearing N-95s and PPE, examining Colton, who is completely unconscious and receiving a fresh blood transfusion)

 

DR. DOBERMAN: What I don’t understand is why he keeps losing blood.

 

NURSE: I don’t know, Doctor, he’s straining our donor blood resources.

 

DR. DOBERMAN: Would someone have any reason to, take his blood?

 

NURSE: Not anyone who works here, sir.

 

DR. DOBERMAN: Okay, just keep an eye on him.

 

NURSE: Actually, I’m getting off right now, Doctor, I think Lori is coming.

 

(Oliver walks in)

 

OLIVER: Actually, Lori was stung by a murder hornet, so I’m taking her shift.

 

(Dr. Doberman walks over to Oliver)

 

DR. DOBERMAN: Okay, well, just make sure no unauthorized persons come in. I think somebody’s been stealing his blood, so if you don’t recognize somebody, or if someone has some unlikely excuse for why they’re there, or gives you some ridiculous name, don’t let ‘em in. Got it- uh?

 

OLIVER: Furby. Furby Bellbottom.

 

DR. DOBERMAN: Furby. Got it.

 

(Doberman pats Oliver on the back and leaves, followed by the nurse. Oliver looks behind his back and then ambles up to Colton’s unconscious body. He takes out a syringe and removes Colton’s arm from his gown. We see a couple of puncture marks and of course, one bite mark. Oliver sticks the needle into Colton’s skin and begins collecting blood. Suddenly, a 20-year old female janitor with blonde hair and an N-95 on walks in with a mop bucket and starts mopping. Oliver turns away and tries to hide what he’s doing)

 

JANITOR: (Cockney accent) I didn’t mean to interrupt, sir, just noticed this floor here is right filthy, it is.

 

OLIVER: No worries, I’m almost done.

 

(Oliver takes out a bag and dispenses the blood into the bag)

 

JANITOR: You conducting a test of some kind, sir?

 

(Oliver hides the bag in his waistband and goes for the door)

 

OLIVER: Yep.

 

(The Janitor steps in front of Oliver)

 

JANITOR: I don’t know how far away you live, sir, but I’ve been known to handle myself in confined spaces. Cars, costume chests, lockers, you name it.

 

OLIVER: Oh. Okay. No, thank you.

 

(Oliver slips past the Janitor)

 

JANITOR: Name’s Nancy if you change your mind.

 

(Nancy starts humming and dancing along the floor as she mops. Cut to Oliver walking out of the hospital and toward his car. He runs into Charlie, who’s smoking a joint in the parking lot. He stops and sighs)

 

CHARLIE: Who knew that all I needed to do to bring you to the dark side was nothing?

 

OLIVER: I’ve got it under control.

 

CHARLIE: Yeah, and so did your brother.

 

(Oliver’s eyes flash with anger)

 

OLIVER: How the fuck do you know about that.

 

CHARLIE: Listen, in the future, if you want Colton’s blood, you’ll need to pay for the privilege. No more freebies.

 

OLIVER: So what, you’re gonna package his blood yourself? I don’t trust you not to extract too much at one time and then kill him.

 

CHARLIE: Oh, I will, but only if you keep taking freebies. (Charlie shrugs) I don’t make the rules, Caldwell does. You know I’m cool, I have a sample of John Cusack’s blood, and I’d let you have a taste if Caldwell wasn’t always up my ass.

 

(Oliver grimaces at Charlie. He takes out a few twenties and throws them at Charlie)

 

OLIVER: Fine. Don’t hurt Colton, or I’ll kill you.

 

(Oliver brushes past Charlie)

 

CHARLIE: I ain’t the one hurting Colton, my dude.

 

(Charlie takes a toke of his joint, throws it on the ground and walks away. Cut to Oliver walking into the apartment and finding Roy sitting on the couch with a beer in his lap, scrolling through his phone. Roy looks up and puts his phone aside. Oliver furrows his brow)

 

OLIVER: How are you still awake, you drank like a gallon of tequila.

 

(Oliver slinks into the kitchen and hides the bag of blood behind the fridge)

 

ROY: I couldn’t sleep because I was nauseous, so I vomited and then apparently- (Oliver walks back into the living room and sits in front of Roy) I rallied.

 

OLIVER: Is everything okay, dude.

 

ROY: I don’t know. (Beat) Everything that’s been going on. Been pushed around. Dirt kicked into my eyes. People I thought I trusted…

 

OLIVER: I can’t believe Jackie did that, but dude, I had a feeling about her.

 

ROY: It’s not just that. (Beat. Roy leans forward) I’ve been thinking about God. They say he has a plan for all of us, right? Bad things happen, it’s part of his plan. But how is this a part of his plan? 80,000 people dead, that’s part of his plan? What kind of plan is that? What’s the end goal? I can’t just accept “His ways are mysterious” anymore.

 

(Roy sits back)

 

OLIVER: …Are you doubting your faith?

 

ROY: Yeah, a little bit. I mean- I’m not saying I don’t believe in God, I do, but for the first time in my life, I’m having serious doubts.

 

(Oliver nods)

 

OLIVER: I understand how you feel, man. But for what it’s worth- I owe my entire existence to Satan, so I think that’s probably foolproof enough evidence for God’s existence.

 

(Roy shrugs)

 

ROY: Yeah, but… just because Demons exist, that doesn’t mean Angels do.

 

(Oliver nods with reverence, giving this serious contemplation. Cut to Oliver walking back toward his room an hour or two later. He grips his doorknob. But then catches the closet door in the corner of his eye. He faces the door and begins approaching it. He slowly opens the door and finds Kelly’s painting, covered with a blanket. He kneels down and smiles. He pulls the blanket off, but then his smile turns immediately to a scowl. His eyes widen. We cut to the painting itself. The colors are darker, Oliver’s skin is paler, and a smirk of cruelty poxes his visage. Oliver stumbles back from the painting. He scrambles up to it and covers it with the blanket and shuts the door. Cut to Charlie, Tricia, Lindsay and Sheffield in a Zoom call together)

 

LINDSAY: Alright, Charlie, I hear you’re the man to talk to.

 

CHARLIE: Fuckin’ right. (Charlie takes a toke of his joint) So, talk.

 

LINDSAY: Well, I think Sheffield can take the lead.

 

SHEFFIELD: You’ve been to Davie’s, correct?

 

CHARLIE: Yeah, it was hella gay. But. I guess I didn’t mind it.

 

SHEFFIELD: Cool, well, we want to build a legit, certified Davie’s where Second Window used to be. Just as weird, just as fun, but to where it passes all those dumbass safety codes and stuff.

 

TRICIA: Also, I’m gonna pop my pussy on stage.

 

CHARLIE: I’m in.

 

SHEFFIELD: Oh- what? Like, you’re in to have us rent it?

 

CHARLIE: Definitely, I’ll be your landlord for sure.

 

LINDSAY: Great news. Thank you.

 

SHEFFIELD: You don’t have any further demands?

 

CHARLIE: Nah, just don’t be late on your payments, or I’ll start stealing your mail. Kinda my policy with stuff like that.

 

SHEFFIELD: That’s a serious crime-

 

LINDSAY: Sounds like we have a deal, then! Thank you, Charlie.

 

CHARLIE: You’re welcome, my dude, we’ll negotiate rent later, cool?

 

LINDSAY: Yes, nice to meet you.

 

TRICIA: Bye.

 

(Sheffield waves awkwardly. Charlie leaves the Zoom meeting)

 

TRICIA: Wow, what an asshole! Thought he was gonna jump through the screen and rape me!

 

SHEFFIELD: Jesus, don’t say things like that-

 

LINDSAY: Yeah, I thought you said he was difficult, that was so easy.

 

TRICIA: It feels like we could’ve gotten his inheritance in that negotiation.

 

SHEFFIELD: He’s usually more difficult…something’s gotta be up.

 

TRICIA: Whatever, maybe you just don’t like him because you’re bad with people. (Tricia finishes off an Arizona Iced Tea and belches) I gotta take a giant dump, that meeting went on way longer than I expected…

 

(Tricia logs off. Cut to Sheffield watching Dead Man on his TV- a black-and-white movie from 1995. We can see Johnny Depp as a sophisticate wearing a suit, hat and glasses, clutching a suitcase on a train filled with ruffians. Across from him is Crispin Glover, playing a layman covered in dirt)

 

CRISPIN: Well. That doesn’t explain why you’ve come all the way out here. All the way out here to Hell.

 

JOHNNY: I, uh…I have a job. Out in, the town of Machine.

 

CRISPIN: Machine? That’s the end of the line.

 

(Eerie music comes in)

 

JOHNNY: Is it?

 

CRISPIN: Yes.

 

(Beat)

 

JOHNNY: Well, I… (Johnny pulls a letter from his coat) received a letter from the, people at Dickinson’s metal works. (Johnny hands the letter to Crispin) Assuring me of a job in…

 

(Crispin opens the letter)

 

CRISPIN: Is that so?

 

JOHNNY: Yes. I’m an accountant.

 

CRISPIN: I wouldn’t know because, uh…I don’t read. But, uh…I’ll tell you one thing for sure. I wouldn’t trust no words written down on no piece of paper. (Johnny nervously takes his letter back) Especially from no Dickinson out in the town of Machine. You’re just as likely to find your own grave.

 

(Ruffians point their guns out the train windows and start shooting, startling Johnny. Tricia walks in and sits down next to Sheffield)

 

TRICIA: The hell is this.

 

SHEFFIELD: One of my favorite Jarmusch films.

 

TRICIA: Wow, black-and-white but it’s from the now times? Crazyyyyy-

 

(Tricia pauses the film)

 

SHEFFIELD: The fuck are you doing?!

 

TRICIA: Why don’t you trust Charlie!? Tell me!

 

SHEFFIELD: Remember when I told you he’s killed before?

 

TRICIA: Come ON, that fuckin’ dweeb, acting like a high schooler whose parents left him home alone for their trip to Honolulu?! Come the fuck on, this dipshit isn’t a killer.

 

SHEFFIELD: Fine, you wanna know the truth!?

 

TRICIA: No, Sheffield, I’ll pass- YES I WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH!

 

(Sheffield sighs)

 

SHEFFIELD: Charlie’s a vampire. He’s undead, he sucks blood, he has super strength, he burns up in sunlight- all the vampire stuff! You happy?

 

TRICIA: What the fuck are you talking about?

 

SHEFFIELD: Don’t you remember us talking about him trying to kill Melissa, back during the screening for my movie?!

 

TRICIA: I don’t know, I thought your friend was exaggerating- what the fuck are you talking about, vampires?

 

SHEFFIELD: Vampires exist. Okay? They keep a low-profile, but I know a few vampires.

 

(Tricia scoffs and gets up)

 

TRICIA: Here I thought I WANTED you to develop a sense of humor.

 

(Tricia walks to the kitchen and takes out a cigarette. Sheffield gets up and walks over to her)

 

SHEFFIELD: Tricia, for Christ’s sakes, we have an elephant magically gestating in our closet right now! Remember when Kelly did that for us!?! How is this so far-fetched?

 

(Tricia turns around with her cigarette lit. She exhales the smoke)

 

TRICIA: …I mean, I guess that’s a good point…

 

SHEFFIELD: Yeah! Exactly, so do you believe me now?!

 

TRICIA: …So he’s killed people, huh?

 

SHEFFIELD: Yes. That’s why I’m not sure everything’s so above-board.

 

TRICIA: Well, irregardless, I don’t think we can just confront a vampire-

 

SHEFFIELD: “Regardless”.

 

TRICIA: What?

 

SHEFFIELD: “Irregardless” is not a word, the word is “regardless”.

 

TRICIA: You’re gonna be nutless if you don’t shut the fuck up.

 

SHEFFIELD: Did you feed the elephant fetus today, by the way?

 

TRICIA: I thought it was your turn.

 

(Sheffield heads to the fridge and pulls out a gallon of milk)

 

SHEFFIELD: Listen, I have a vampire friend who can back us up if we wanna go talk to Charlie.

 

TRICIA: The fuck- how many vampires do you know?

 

SHEFFIELD: You actually know this vampire, too.

 

(Tricia takes a drag of her cigarette)

 

TRICIA: …Is it that Kelly bitch?

 

SHEFFIELD: What- no, why is she a bitch?

 

TRICIA: It’s the shyness, I don’t trust a shy bitch, she has something to hide from me.

 

(Cut to Oliver waking up in his bed the next morning. Kelly is still sleeping as he rises from his bed and rushes into the bathroom. Oliver takes the bucket out of the bottom of the sink and sifts through the flash drives and finds an essentially empty bag of Colton’s blood)

 

OLIVER: FUCK. (Oliver tries to suck the last few remaining drops, but then throws it back in) Only took one fucking night.  (He pushes the bucket back under the sink and closes the drawers. Cut to Oliver putting on his sun protection suit. Just as he’s about to lower the gas mask onto his head, he gets a text from Sheffield- “Hey, Tricia and I are gonna meet Charlie because we’re thinking about renting a new space for Davie’s from him. Can you provide protection?” Oliver picks up the phone and texts back “Sorry, can’t do it today. Bring a stake and be prepared to use it. Or better yet, just don’t visit him at all. Peace, love”. Oliver puts his phone away and puts on the gas mask and heads for the door- but suddenly he gets a call from Stephanie. He picks it up) Stephanie, what is it? I’m busy.

 

(Cut to Stephanie sitting in her bed at home, clearly upset)

 

STEPHANIE: Hey, Oliver, I just wanted to check in-

 

OLIVER: I don’t have time to talk, I need to go.

 

STEPHANIE: Well, it’s just, Andy and I got into a big fight and I just need to talk to someone-

 

OLIVER: Honestly, I have a lot going on Steph, the least of my worries is your shithead boyfriend, I’m sorry.

 

(Oliver hangs up and heads for the door)

 

KELLY: (OS) HEY! (Oliver turns to Kelly) What the hell is wrong with you?! How can you talk to your sister like that?!

 

OLIVER: I’m just under a lot of pressure right now-

 

KELLY: What pressure?! You’re unemployed and staying inside all the time, what’s the pressure? Pressure on deciding what you’re in the mood to jerk off to for the day!?

 

OLIVER: No, I’m just- no, I just need a steady supply of butcher’s blood, and I get irritable without it.

 

KELLY: No, this is different. (Kelly stands up) You’ve been acting like a dick lately. What’s really going on?

 

OLIVER: It’s nothing, I just- we have finals this week! That’s it, I’m stressed about finals.

 

KELLY: Oh, you mean the finals that they’re being forced to conduct online, where you could easily look up shit with your phone? Those finals?

 

OLIVER: Well, you know it’s timed and you gotta keep your phone charged- you know what, just leave me alone.

 

(Oliver walks out the door and slams it behind him)

 

KELLY: FUCK YOU!

 

(Cut to Stephanie crying while FaceTiming with Andy)

 

STEPHANIE: And then he told me he didn’t give a fuck about my “shithead boyfriend” and he just hung up-

 

(Stephanie starts bawling. Andy crooks his eyebrows in an expression of pure rage)

 

ANDY: That blood-sucking asshole.

 

STEPHANIE: I don’t know who he is anymore!
 

ANDY: I can’t believe he would say that about me.

 

STEPHANIE: What?

 

ANDY: And you. Especially you.

 

(Cut to Andy’s bedroom- which is festooned with motorcycle posters, where he’s on FaceTime with Stephanie still)

 

STEPHANIE: I just don’t know what his problem is…

 

ANDY: He’s not the same brother you knew. (Beat, as Stephanie cries) …Hey, where does he live, or, rather, exist again?

 

STEPHANIE: Uhhh…Clark street in Evanston, why?

 

ANDY: …That’s cool, lotta good restaurants around there…

 

(Cut to Kelly sitting in her living room, in the middle of a pentagram composed of candles. A map of Evanston is splayed out before her. She takes out a piece of Oliver’s hair and motions in the shape of an upside down cross)

 

KELLY: Utrum caro factum est et peccatum, invenire plaga in essentia, est creatura designandum locum huc illustrant hac tabula in conspectu eorum!

 

(SUBTITLES: Whether made of flesh or sin, find the essence festering within, point the location of this creature here and illuminate this map with their presence)

 

(Kelly casts a spell on the map, dropping the hair in the process)

 

KELLY: …Ut, nunc.

 

(SUBTITLES: Like, now)

 

(Nothing happens. Kelly sighs, shakes her head and carefully blows out all the candles)

 

KELLY: These candles were so fucking expensive, too. (Kelly eyes the map) Oh shit, there used to be a Chick-fil-a on Dempster?

 

(Cut to Oliver walking into the hospital, wearing his nurse outfit with the PPE. He walks toward Colton’s room, but he is quickly intercepted by Nancy)

 

NANCY: Where you goin’, mate? Shufflin’ along like a street sweeper.

 

OLIVER: I’m going to a patient’s room, get out of the way.

 

(Oliver tries to get around Nancy, but she places her hand on his shoulder)

 

NANCY: Nuh-uh-uh. Caldwell let me in on your game. You gotta pay up, love.

 

(Oliver sighs and takes a deep swallow)

 

OLIVER: Who do I pay, you?

 

NANCY: Yeah, and then I’ll lead you to where you ought to be. (Oliver takes out his wallet) It’s two-fifty.

 

OLIVER: Fuck. Can I Venmo you?

 

NANCY: Do you have Cashapp?

 

OLIVER: No.

 

NANCY: ‘Kay, so download Cashapp. (Oliver sighs deeply. Cut to Nancy walking Oliver to a door labeled “Inconspicuous Broom Closet”) Knock three times and say the password, and you’ll be right admitted to the Hemoglobin Den…

 

OLIVER: Wow, that’s subtle. What’s the password?

 

NANCY: …”Lovely Lemon Linens”…

 

(Oliver shrugs and knocks the door three times)

 

OLIVER: Lovely Lemon Linens?

 

(The door opens and Oliver walks into a narrow room, floor to ceiling red carpet, booth seating, strung-out vampires connected to IVs full of blood and a well-dressed man in the corner playing a cello. Oliver looks back at Nancy)

 

NANCY: Sweet dreams.

 

(Nancy closes the door as Oliver wanders through this den of iniquity. Charlie walks in through another entrance, sits down on a couch near an IV and pats the spot right next to him. Oliver walks over to Charlie)

 

OLIVER: Oh God, you’re not staying here?

 

CHARLIE: Nah, my dude, I have to stop by my apartment to feed my only surviving cat.

 

OLIVER: You’re a monster.

 

CHARLIE: I just wanted to make sure you have a good time. That’s the thing about me, I always want to make sure everyone’s chill and having a good time.

 

(Oliver glances up at the IV)

 

OLIVER: This is Colton’s blood?

 

CHARLIE: Is Elizabeth Moss a scientologist?

 

OLIVER: Is she? God, that’s disappointing.

 

CHARLIE: I know, did you see her in Invisible Man?

 

OLIVER: Yeah, she was great. She’s in everything these days, isn’t she?

 

CHARLIE: I know, but I don’t mind, she’s a great actress.

 

OLIVER: For sure.

 

CHARLIE: Anyway, yeah, this is Colton’s.

 

OLIVER: You didn’t take…too much, did you?

 

CHARLIE: Nah, fam, he’s good. Don’t worry about him, or anybody but you, for that matter. (Oliver nods his head, sits down and allows Charlie attaches the IV to his skin. Oliver closes his eyes) Let me know when you’re done.

 

(Charlie smiles deviously and backs out of the room. Oliver squirms around, as the blood flows into his veins. Oliver squirms around, wrapped in the ecstasy of the sensation. Smiling and thrashing, and then settling into a deep state of relaxation. Cut to Charlie walking into the blood storage room, where Caldwell is examining a slide under a microscope. Charlie slides open the glass doors to the refrigerated blood storage cabinet)

 

CALDWELL: We need to make that hemoglobin den more discrete.

 

(Charlie quietly peels the “TYPE A” label off a bag of blood)

 

CHARLIE: Why?

 

(Charlie switches the label with a bag of TYPE B blood and closes the door as Caldwell turns to him)

 

CALDWELL: What are you doing?

 

CHARLIE: I was just eyeing the product, baby, chill.

 

CALDWELL: Do not refer to me as “baby”. Furthermore, the hospital administrator looks the other way on us because I know about him and his mistress, but we can’t push our luck. Make the den more discrete.

 

CHARLIE: Whatever you say, boss man.

 

(Charlie smirks and walks out of the room. Cut to Andy pulling up to Oliver’s apartment building on his motorcycle. He takes off his helmet, puts the kickstand down and places the helmet on the seat. He walks toward the door, stops on a dime, turns around, grabs his helmet and places it under his shoulder and then walks back up to Oliver’s door. He knocks on it and waits for several moments)

 

KELLY: (Muffled) Who is it?

 

ANDY: I’m James, I’m Oliver’s friend.

 

(Kelly opens the door, wearing a face mask. She throws him a face mask to put on. Andy sighs, puts the helmet down and puts the face mask over his mouth)

 

KELLY: Oliver’s never mentioned a “James”.

 

ANDY: Well, I’m his partner in a group project.

 

KELLY: You look like you’re 17 years old.

 

(Andy chuckles)

 

ANDY: I get that a lot.

 

KELLY: …Well, he’s not here and I don’t know if you noticed, there’s a deadly virus going around, so you should contact Oliver online.

 

(Kelly tries to shut the door, but Oliver blocks it with his foot)

 

ANDY: He’s not responding, and its due tomorrow.

 

(Kelly sighs)

 

KELLY: What do you want me to do about it? I don’t know where he is.

 

ANDY: Then someone ought to figure it out or I’ll NEVER get into graduate school- GOD!

 

(Andy launches his helmet at his motorcycle, knocking it over. He turns back to Kelly, playing up his desperation)

 

KELLY: Jesus Christ, fine, I’ll ask Roy.

 

ANDY: Cool, I’ll stay out here.

 

(Kelly shrugs)

 

KELLY: Okay… (Kelly shuts the door and Andy puts his back against the brick as he waits. Cut to Kelly walking over to the bathroom where Roy is shaving in the mirror) Oliver’s project partner wants to know where he is, you have any idea?

 

ROY: Yeah, I think I do. (Roy pushes Oliver’s blood bucket over to Kelly. It contains empty bags of blood) Found those while I was looking for my shaving cream.

 

(Kelly looks down at the bags. She sees the hospital markings, but Colton’s name has been removed)

 

KELLY: Fuck.

 

ROY: Yeah. (Roy cuts himself shaving and blood dribbles down his chin) Goddamnit. (Roy chuckles) Good thing Oliver’s not here, right?

 

(Kelly runs back over the front door and opens it. Andy is over kissing his now upright motorcycle on its seat, but then he rushes back over to Kelly)

 

ANDY: Did he tell you?

 

KELLY: Yeah, we think he’s at North Shore hospital.  (Kelly walks past Andy) Roy, you comin’?

 

(Andy runs to his motorcycle and hops on)

 

ANDY: I’ll meet you guys there.

 

(Andy starts up his bike as Roy walks out of the apartment)

 

ROY: Yeah, I’m coming- wait, don’t I know you?

 

(Andy straps on his helmet and speeds off)

 

KELLY: Oh shit, you know him?

 

ROY: …He looked familiar. (Roy straps on his N-95) Guess we’ll find out.

 

(Cut to Sheffield driving his car with Tricia in the passenger’s seat as a soundtrack album plays on the stereo)

 

TRICIA: …Jesus, can we get a break from the Das Boot soundtrack already? Put on my Motorhead album, it’s somewhere in the back seat.

 

SHEFFIELD: Yeah, sure this is the Das Boot album, does that sound like swelling horns interspersed with long sequences of aquatic terror? No, Trish, this is the Fitzcarraldo soundtrack.

 

TRICIA: I hate you.

 

(Sheffield gets a text and hands Tricia his phone)

 

SHEFFIELD: Who texted me what?

 

TRICIA: It’s your side bitch, she wants your mouth on her fat clit right away because her dad just called her a disappointment.

 

SHEFFIELD: Say the actual text, please.

 

TRICIA: Change of plans, Charlie’s gonna meet us outside North Shore hospital.

 

(Sheffield turns on his turn signal and bangs a U-turn. Cut to Sheffield standing inside the loading bay behind the hospital, smoking a joint in the shade. Sheffield pulls up in his car. Sheffield and Tricia strap on N-95s and each surreptitiously grab a sharpened piece of wood and slip it into their pockets. They close their doors and stand in front of Charlie, who blows a cloud of smoke into the air)

 

CHARLIE: You know I can’t give you COVID, right?

 

(Sheffield and Tricia look at each other, and then lower their masks)

 

TRICIA: We weren’t clear on that, but it makes sense.

 

CHARLIE: What is what you wanted, just to kick it?

 

TRICIA: Yeah, we’re just here to hang out, you got it.

 

SHEFFIELD: What’s your angle, Charlie. What do you want out of this?

 

CHARLIE: …Rent money…

 

SHEFFIELD: I know, but I feel like you have an ulterior motive. You’ve been trying to corrupt Oliver for years.

 

CHARLIE: I just hate fake people. When Oliver refuses to embrace what he is, it makes me sad for him, man. Life’s too short. I mean, not for us, but… usually.

 

TRICIA: Listen, you poncho-wearing cocksucker, the rents you proposed were super reasonable, for a conscience-free, bloodsucking monster, anyway.

 

SHEFFIELD: So, give us the catch or we walk away.

 

(Charlie smirks and walks forward. They both tense up)

 

CHARLIE: I wanted to save this until after we celebrated, but I’ll come out with it. This club you want to set up. Will it be all-inclusive?

 

(Sheffield and Tricia look at each other and look back at Charlie)

 

SHEFFIELD: Uh, yeah, anybody over 21 I guess.

 

TRICIA: Except the French, but that’s just a personal preference.

 

CHARLIE: What about people like me?

 

(Sheffield sighs)

 

SHEFFIELD: You want us to be a vampire bar?

 

TRICIA: What?! Those exist?

 

CHARLIE: And they’re the only bars open right now. You could open as soon as you finish construction, no matter what the law says.

 

SHEFFIELD: But how would we keep the bar a secret?

 

CHARLIE: Underground entrance. Trust me, I know the game plan forward and back.

 

TRICIA: Holy shit, we could make a lot of money that way.

 

SHEFFIELD: But we’d be serving human blood to people, that’s fucked up.

 

CHARLIE: Sheffield, you’re a film major in your early 20s, I can’t imagine you’re making any money. Tricia, you just got laid off from the circus. (Charlie shrugs) Forget about the rent at my place, how long can you rent at that nice apartment of yours? (Tricia grimaces at him) I’ll let you think about it. If you’ll excuse me, gotta get back to saving lives.

 

(Charlie jumps back into the loading bay. Cut to Charlie walking up to the hospital lobby. Andy walks in and takes off his motorcycle helmet. He’s still wearing his N-95. He rushes over to the front desk and talks to a nurse in full PPE)

 

ANDY: I’m looking for Oliver Shine, is he here?

 

(Charlie whistles loudly to get Andy’s attention)

 

CHARLIE: Don’t bother Nurse Raquel, I can help you, bro.

 

(Raquel nods and points to Charlie. Andy walks over to him)

 

ANDY: Where is he?

 

CHARLIE: You a friend?

 

ANDY: Yes, I’m…James, I think I said?

 

CHARLIE: I can show you to Oliver, but we gotta check with Caldwell first, make sure you’re cool.

 

(Roy and Kelly round the corner)

 

KELLY: What about us, are we cool?

 

(Andy tenses up and leans his head away from Roy, as he scrutinizes the back of Andy’s head)

 

ANDY: Maybe this mask isn’t doing enough. (Andy puts his motorcycle helmet back on) That should do it.

 

(Cut to Andy, Roy and Kelly standing in front of Caldwell and Charlie in the blood storage room)

 

CALDWELL: What is the meaning of this?

 

CHARLIE: Sir, these three dudes have come to see Oliver.

 

CALDWELL: Oliver’s in the hemoglobin den, we’ll let you know when he’s finished. Good day.

 

(Caldwell turns around)

 

KELLY: We need to see him NOW.

 

ANDY: RIGHT NOW!

 

(Caldwell turns to Andy)

 

CALDWELL: My boy, remove that ridiculous helmet from your head, it’s impertinent.

 

ANDY: Nah, man, I’m a, burn victim.

 

KELLY: We saw your face earlier.

 

ROY: Who the hell are you, man, did you go to Bowen?

 

CALDWELL: Listen, if you really want to get in, we’re gonna need donations to the hospital.

 

ROY: Sure, how much?

 

CALDWELL: About four tablespoons.

 

ROY: Ah.

 

KELLY: Fuck it, I’ll do it.

 

ANDY: Sure.

 

ROY: I said I would live reckless, why not.

 

CALDWELL: Very well. Charlie?

 

(Charlie takes out a syringe as their guests extend their arms. Cut to Charlie squirting blood into a cup labeled “Andy”, then “Kelly” and then “Roy”)

 

CALDWELL: (OS) Thank you for your kind donations. Nancy will lead you to the den.

 

(Cut to Nancy poking her head in)

 

NANCY: Come on, princes of Maine, Kings of New England, let’s get a move on. (Roy, Andy and Kelly follow Nancy into the hall. Cut to Nancy opening the door to the Hemoglobin den to Roy, Kelly and Andy) Your Prince Charming is at the end there, yeah? Give his rump a squeeze for me, eh?

 

(They all start filing in)

 

ROY: I’ll pass.

 

KELLY: I can do it on your behalf, Roy.

 

ROY: Cool.

 

(Nancy closes the door but stays in the room. Andy runs ahead of Kelly and Roy, over to a passed-out Oliver. Nancy begins surreptitiously handing out samples of Roy, Kelly and Andy’s blood to the strung-out vampires. Andy removes his helmet and slaps Oliver awake)

 

OLIVER: AH!

 

ANDY: Surprise, dickhead.

 

(Roy pulls Andy away from Oliver)

 

ROY: HEY! What the fuck!? (Beat of recognition) Holy shit, you’re Steph’s boyfriend?!

 

KELLY: Wow, he lied, what a shock.

 

OLIVER: How the hell did you guys find me?

 

ANDY: If you EVER talk that way to my girl again, or I will plunge a wooden dildo through your heart, motherfucker.

 

OLIVER: Listen, I shouldn’t have done that, but you have no right to threaten me, dude! If I could lift my arms, I’d kick your ass right now!

 

(Andy lunges for Oliver, but Roy pulls him back and gets in his face)

 

ROY: He has super strength, dumbass, and so does everybody in here but us. Calm the fuck down.

 

(Andy huffs and puffs but backs off. Kelly kneels down to Oliver’s level)

 

OLIVER: What are you guys doing here…

 

KELLY: We found your bags of blood. HUMAN blood.

 

(During this conversation, we cut to Nancy surreptitiously injecting fresh blood into Oliver’s IV and slipping away unnoticed- since Kelly is having an intense moment with Oliver and Roy is trying to calm down Andy)

 

OLIVER: That’s not mine!
 

KELLY: Oliver.

 

OLIVER: Charlie told me to hold it for him a little while. A cop planted it there.

 

KELLY: Oliver, come on.

 

OLIVER: You’re seeing things. You’re crazy. Applejacks! What number did I just say?

 

KELLY: You’re bad at gaslighting. (Oliver gives off a heavy high sigh) We can’t let you devolve into a monster, like this. This has why you’ve been such a jerk lately, isn’t it?

 

(Roy gets down on Oliver’s level as well)

 

ROY: You gotta get your rich parents to pay for one of those resort-ass rehab places that Hunter Biden gets to go to.

 

OLIVER: My parents are upper middle class at best, dude.

 

(Slowly, behind them, we notice the strung-out vampires rising to their feet)

 

KELLY: It doesn’t matter, they’re not gonna have what he needs. It’s up to you to get better, Oliver, but it’s also up to us. What do you say? (Oliver’s face goes vamp as the strung-out vampires move closer) …Looks like a “no” to me.

 

OLIVER: Watch out!
 

(Kelly, Andy and Roy turn around and see the vampires have surrounded them)

 

KELLY: Fuck. They fed them our blood.

 

ROY: I really wish I weren’t in this situation so often.

 

(The vampires bare their fangs and pull Oliver, Roy and Andy in to bite into them)

 

ANDY: AGGGH!!! GET OFF OF ME!!!!

 

KELLY: OLIVER! HELP!!

 

ROY: GODDAMNIT, THIS ONE’S USING TONGUE!
 

(Oliver stands up and bares his teeth)

 

KELLY: OLIVER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

 

ROY: OH, SHIT, THEY FED HIM OUR BLOOD TOO!

 

(Oliver breathes heavily, unsure what to do. He licks his lips as he looks at Kelly’s neck)

 

KELLY: OLIVER, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! HELP US!

 

(Oliver blinks rapidly several times and shakes his head around, but then steels himself)

 

OLIVER: I’ll take a hit of that, thanks.

 

(Oliver pulls Kelly away from the vamp and pretends to sink his teeth into Kelly’s neck. Kelly catches on and plays astonished)

 

KELLY: Agh! Stop that. How dare you betray me, Oliver!
 

ANDY: (Whispering) How does that help us though!?

 

ROY: Shhh!!

 

(The vampires don’t fall for it and begin to swarm Oliver. He screams. Suddenly, Charlie bursts in and whistles loudly. They all look at him)

 

CHARLIE: LISTEN UP! LET OLIVER GO, HE’S VALUABLE!

 

(The vamps push Oliver away)

 

OLIVER: Tell them to let go of my friends, Charlie!
 

CHARLIE: Leave the humans alone, they can’t possibly be that good anyway.

 

(The vampires release Kelly, Roy and Andy. Kelly and Roy sit down, feeling a bit light-headed, but Andy passes out immediately)

 

ROY: Pussy.

 

OLIVER: You fed me my friend’s blood, asshole! I don’t know how you have it, but-

 

ROY: We gave it to him.

 

OLIVER: Yeah, so you- wait, you just fucking gave it to him?!

 

KELLY: Seems like a bad idea in retrospect.

 

CHARLIE: I don’t know what you’re talking about- do you know what he’s talking about, Nancy?

 

NANCY: I decided to give all the vamps a little taste, Charlie…I was excited to watch them tear our guests limb from limb- their organs coming apart in ribbons like a ballet…

 

CHARLIE: Goddamnit, Nancy, that’s not cool! (To Oliver) My bad, for real, won’t happen again-

 

(Oliver, Kelly, Andy and Roy walk past Charlie)

 

OLIVER: Fuck off.

 

(Oliver pushes Charlie into the wall as he goes)

 

CHARLIE: You’ll be back! (Charlie chuckles as he hands Nancy a five dollar bill) There you go, kid.

 

NANCY: Thank you, sir, I’m saving up for a bicycle, this’ll help.

 

(Nancy bows and leaves the room. Charlie checks her out while she’s doing it. Cut to Sheffield and Tricia sitting in their car in an empty parking lot, smoking cigs)

 

LINDSAY: (Speakerphone) Vampires?

 

SHEFFIELD: Yep.

 

LINDSAY: …You should’ve told me.

 

TRICIA: So you know about them?

 

LINDSAY: Are you kidding? I walked in on Harvey Fierstein giving head to Nosferatu in Annex’s bathroom, back in 1987.

 

SHEFFIELD: Nosferatu is just another word for vampire, conceived in the 1922 movie of the same name, the nosferatu in that movie’s name is Count Orlok.

 

LINDSAY: Sorry, Sheffield, I know we’ve only met each other recently, but I need you to shut the fuck up.

 

TRICIA: Thank you!

 

SHEFFIELD: But you’re okay with this?

 

LINDSAY: …Not if it’s human blood.

 

SHEFFIELD: We were thinking the same thing. Do you think he’d accept animal blood? My close friend is a vampire, and that’s all he drinks.

 

LINDSAY: Good for him.

 

SHEFFIELD: I’ll pass that onto him, thanks.

 

TRICIA: Sure you’re okay with this, Sheffield? It won’t be on the books like this, like you wanted.

 

SHEFFIELD: …Well. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been off the books.

 

(Sheffield and Tricia smiles)

 

TRICIA: You think Charlie will be okay with this?

 

SHEFFIELD: Only one way to find out.

 

(Cut to Charlie making out with Nancy in a broom closet. His phone goes off, he checks it and pulls away from Nancy)

 

CHARLIE: Gotta take this, hold on.

 

NANCY: Oh, what am I do now, all this time…

 

(Charlie picks up)

 

CHARLIE: Hello?

 

SHEFFIELD: (OS) Animal blood only, or no deal.

 

CHARLIE: …I don’t know…

 

SHEFFIELD: Everyone’s inside. Human blood’s got to be in short supply for you guys.

 

CHARLIE: Not as much as you’d think.

 

SHEFFIELD: Still. This can be a fun last resort for vamps.

 

(Nancy is examining her nails)

 

NANCY: Do nails stop growing at a certain point or is it just an endless spiral?

 

CHARLIE: …I’ll do it. But I want a cut.

 

SHEFFIELD: It’s a deal. We’ll negotiate specifics later.

 

CHARLIE: Peace.

 

(Charlie hangs up and returns to making out with Nancy. Cut to Oliver, Roy, Kelly and Andy in the hospital hallway)

 

OLIVER: You’ve gotta keep me under lock and key.

 

KELLY: I think that’ll only make things worse. Remember when Neculai did that to you?

 

OLIVER: No, Kelly, LISTEN. (Oliver stares at her) You need to lock me up before I hurt anyone else.

 

KELLY: Anyone else? I know you’ve been stealing blood, but who have you directly hurt-

 

(We suddenly hear a heart rate monitor go berserk down the hall)

 

DR. DOBERMAN: (OS) WE NEED A VENTILATOR AND A DEFIB, STAT!

 

(A bunch of nurses rush toward Colton’s room, down the hall. Oliver runs toward the room as well)

 

KELLY: Oliver!
 

ROY: What the hell!?

 

(They rush after him. When they arrive, they see Oliver staring into Colton’s room, watching him struggling to breathe, sweating profusely as his heart rate monitor goes a mile a minute. An IV full of blood is hooked up to him for a transfusion. Nurses struggle to stabilize him)

 

NURSE: What happened?!

 

DR. DOBERMAN: Halfway through the transfusion, he started convulsing and struggling to breathe!

 

NURSE: DISCONNECT THE IV!
 

(Doberman disconnects the IV as Oliver stares with terror)

 

KELLY: Oh my God.

 

ANDY: You guys know him?

 

OLIVER: …Intimately…

 

(Nurses brush past Oliver, Kelly, Roy and Andy as they wheel in a ventilator and a defibrillator. Cut to a shot of the mislabeled and now empty bag of Type A blood in the trash can nearby. Then cut to a close-up shot of Oliver’s cruel smile. Cut to credits, featuring the song “Lost it” by Lucinda Williams)

 

THE END


Submitted: May 14, 2020

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