I Am The Monster

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

A poem that I wrote a while back after my first relationship and breakup. Let me know what you think.

I opened my heart to you

like I never did for another.

Let you reach inside, your blackened hands,

tainted with hurt from a past, and I was too naive.

Only wanted to see the good in you, the potential,

not the monster that would break me once again,

even after all it took to recover those broken pieces.


You saw the scars, the pleading look in my eyes,

with every wrong you would say so cleverly 

or do without thought, 

every time, I forgave you.

Because I understood the pain of being abandoned, 

could not allow you to feel the same, 

but you did not care about me.

Took my forgiveness, kindness, acceptance

All I did to show my love, did not matter.


So why did I stay so long?

Fear of loneliness?

I could not lose you,

for losing you meant losing myself,

after believing I had finally found myself with you.

Even if you could not care. 

No, you would not care.

Not like I did for you, and God

did I care for you. 


My first, but you only used me.

Took everything selfishly, 

while I gave selflessly,

my mind, my body, my heart

and you stole it all away

as you let me fall for you, 

and you just watched me fall.


A white veil lost, helpless body 

discarded, shivers at the cold that gnaws,

tears my skin naked until I am 

completely broken, and bloody, 

crippled, with an inability to care for another, 

even though he loves me 

like you never would.


So now, I am the monster, the heartless. 

And I guess after all, I did find myself in you.

Became the animal you always said you were. 

Shame I was too blind to see, 

until the damage was already done, and now,

I have to face the monster within myself. 


Submitted: May 20, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Vindosian. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Christy Writes

I could feel your heartache through each line. I hope you're in a better place, and that you're healing. That's the problem when you're empathetic and kind, some people will try to take advantage of that. Heartbreak, as terrible as it is, does a good job at teaching us who to give to, and how much.
I love your work, keep it up!

Wed, May 20th, 2020 10:45pm


Yes, I am in a better place now, thank you. It was my first relationship and I think being so young, I was naive and put up with a lot of hurt and abuse because I wanted it to work out so badly. Looking back at it now, I'm grateful things didn't work out. You don't realize how toxic a relationship is until it's over. At least that was my experience. But once again thank you for reading and commenting. It means a lot to know you enjoy my writing!

Wed, May 20th, 2020 4:22pm


This is a really powerful poem. It's a beautiful and truthful expression of heartbreak. Heartbreak can change people, and your poem shows that. You're a very talented writer!

Thu, May 21st, 2020 3:33am


Wow, thank you! It means so much to see people read and enjoy my writing.

Thu, May 21st, 2020 10:57am

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