Broken Promise

Reads: 153  | Likes: 2  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

A poem that details a woman reminiscing about a past relationship. Please let me know what you think!

On that aged wooden park bench the same woman sits alone,

everyday her lips in a quiver and her fingers a constant twiddle 

as she battles glass eyes. She used to call this their spot,

now countless other lives pass her by while she waits 

for him, but he never shows.

She travels back to the days they spent together, 

where a warm beach walk would follow ripe, red roses and wine.

Her bright, playful skirt touched tenderly by the breeze and as she sang,

he laughed. They talked of the future they would spend together, 

and her eyes widened, glowed with the love she had for him. Still that love

remains, but as more empty months pass, it mutates, now an enraged 

fire that burns and allows a broken heart to become a permanent rupture. 

She tries to seek comfort in those past memories. This time a kiss, 

in which the familiar tongue she once remembered becomes forked.

 


Submitted: May 20, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Vindosian. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Christy Writes

That last line stands out from the rest in a good way. You write third person as well as first, which is rare. I love your descriptions here. Great work!

Wed, May 20th, 2020 11:01pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, I appreciate you reading my work and commenting once again. I feel like my writing style varies with each piece. A lot of what I write is based off personal experience which is why I use first person in a lot of my work, but sometimes yes, I do enjoy switching it up lol. I've got a lot more that I'd love to publish on here and share with you, so I'll keep you updated! Also, I'd love to check out some of your work as well and let you know what I think!

Wed, May 20th, 2020 4:39pm

Archia

I enjoyed your poem, you did a great job at showing all these different emotions; the love, the sadness, the anger. I like the image of the forked tongue at the end, I think it perfectly captures her transformed feelings for him.

Thu, May 21st, 2020 12:23am

Author
Reply

Yes exactly, I wanted the final line to be one that sticks with you. Thank you for reading and for your feedback, it means a lot!

Wed, May 20th, 2020 5:44pm

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