Darkshines

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Cover image: pixabay.com.

Darkshines

Strange how I can always feel it, but am incapable of turning my back on it. Darkshines. Depression that is so deep it is going to swallow me up whole, at least for a while.

I know I should block my eyes to it, plug my ears to it. I’ve tried, believe me, and it doesn’t work. Those darkshines are clever, crafty; can take on any form. If I refuse to see them, hear them, taste them, they’ll make damn sure I breathe them in. Then there’s no stopping them; they can travel from my lungs completely unhindered to engulf my heart and my mind.

Mom has bad timing. I can’t believe she has chosen this moment to turn up on a visit. Already my head is battling with images that would scare the bravest warrior, while my heart is telling the cruelest betrayal. She cannot be allowed to tell. Somehow or other I’m going to have to get rid of her.

Thinking quickly, I grab my jacket, and open the door before she has a chance to knock.

Mandi?” I’ve clearly surprised her.

Oh, hi, Mom. I didn't know you were coming. You should have called first and I’d have rearranged things but now I’ve got to run.” She can’t have missed how my words had become faster and faster, I just hope the panic didn’t show in my voice.

I stuff my hands in my pockets for I am shaking. My vision is blurring as shadows begin to play out in my peripheral vision. I need to get rid of her.

Mom, I'm sorry, but I've really got to run." And it's not a lie. If I don’t run I am going to collapse on the pavement, right in front of her, and she’d have no hesitation about calling the doc and getting me taken back in. It can’t happen.

Run where?” She is in a persistent mood. There’s no explanation that I can give her so I break into a jog, heading away from her car that is parked on the street.

“Give me a call in the morning," I shout over my shoulder and I dare not stop running until she drives past. I’m sure she is measuring me up from her mirror. It’s only when her car has finally turned the corner and disappeared from view that I allow myself to sag with a mixture of relief and despair.

I turn and stumble my way back to my house, struggle with the key to let myself back inside before the darkshines, with its monsters and demons, sweeps over and claims me. I slump down, no longer resisting and let the darkness engulf me; and to give in... well, it feels so good.

 


Submitted: May 21, 2020

© Copyright 2021 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Mike S.

A fine spooker, Hull!

Thu, May 21st, 2020 5:56pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for giving this a read. Some of it is a bit too near to the truth of my life to be comfortable.

Thu, May 21st, 2020 11:36am

Vance Currie

You write so convincingly, Hully. I don't suffer from depression but your stories sometimes give me insight as to what it is like. Did you make up the name, 'darkshines? It is contradictory, yet apt.

Thu, May 21st, 2020 10:56pm

Author
Reply

No, that was directly from the lyrics. I think it's a brilliant name for depression though.
Thanks so much for reading, Joe.

Sun, May 24th, 2020 12:16pm

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