GUYS! ITS Time to Change

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is an article about a question revolving around most of the women of our society. Need of the hour. A change will instill on you when you start reading. The article is for men to understand womens exact feelings.

Guys! Its high time to change!

Ya ! World is not like olden days where women are supposed to do all cooking and household things and men take the responsibility of all finances and the outer world. We are in the twentieth century where men tries to help women in household chores and women started to finance the family. But is that enough? What’s actually our mentality? I am writing this article because something pestering my mind whenever I go inside my kitchen. Why only me? This thought arises whatever I do in my kitchen. It doesn’t mean that I hate my cooking and household chores, its my innate feeling which depresses me when ever I only cook. When I was married I was like a usual girl who wants to impress my husband by my cooking skills and wanted to keep my home always clean. Though I was preparing for my PG entrance still I managed to cook and feed my husband. I loved cooking. I used to think why my mom hated cooking. As time passed when my first child was born, I was in a hyperexited state. As every mom I want to be the best mom. Me with my mom and sister was doing all things we can do to keep my son healthy and happy. My attitude changed when my second child born. I was not able to do what all I thought I can do. My household work started increasing slowly. My irritations were throwed on my family members. My dreams were shattered. I came to know the reason why my mom hated cooking. I started hating cooking on daily basis but I have to do. Almost 15 years of marriage I have started realising the ground reality how society was not fair on women. This is the mentality of many girls around us. Why me? Why me only? I started writing this article because what words my son said when he was 7 years old is still alive. He is a picky child in eating. Feeding him is one of the difficult job in the world. Once we were complaining about his eating habit and I told him that “It will be difficult for you in future when you are so picky. Better try to learn cooking” It was a very casual comment from me because I always wanted my two sons to learn cooking and do their own household chores by themselves at least in near future. But his sudden comment was “I dont need to learn ma. My wife will cook for me” He said happily as though he is having the easy solution for his problem of picky eating. I was shocked to hear his comment. When I told my husband he was angry on him. But I was angry on myself and the society. Why a seven year old child is saying like that? Is he at this age of 7 is already prepared to make his mistress a cook. Is it his mistake or my family’s mistake. My family is an well educated family. Most of the men in my family tries to help their wifes. My father in law , a doctor regularly helps his wife in cooking, my husband tries to do some dishes occasionally and helps in some of the household chores, my father knows cooking and he cooks for him. Most men of my family gives the freedom for women to study, pursue their career and never ever say that its a women’s job. Yes, freedom for women is still given and but freedom is actually a birth right of a girl who is born in a democratic country like India. I was so angry on myself. What family culture I have instilled on my child. Now he is 10 years old. Even now I don’t think his attitude have changed. Though I am making him to do some small works in my house. He is thinking in his deep mind what he actually sees. He is seeing his mother , grandmothers, aunties, his friends mothers only cook on a daily basis. Ya, he is a child who was brought up in USA where some of our friends cook on vacations and get-togethers. But that was not registered in his brain Even in many whats app messages fun memes are revolving around women about their cooking skills and husband portraying how their wifes torturing them to do their household chores. This is our culture. Though working women or a housewife, it doesn’t matter. In our culture women are destined to cook and do household chores. Even in advertisement they portray women as best moms and best cooks. Thanks to some nice advertisements who have opened the eyes of the world like ‘share the load’ of an washing machine company that we are in a long way for a better change. I am a doctor and I am not trained in my childhood days to be a better cook or a better mom. Everything is acquired when responsibilities was showered on me after my marriage and after I delivered my first child. My mom and my aunt used to say that if you dont study , the world will make you to be in the kitchen. Now me and my sister is a dentist by profession. Still world have made us only to be in the kitchen. Atleast we have men to help but very pity of our older generations where still my mom , aunties and my big mothers are still in the kitchen. Their life revolves 24 hours around the kitchen or laundry. No one to rescue their life even now. Their daughters and sons busy in working. Pity the grandmas like my mom who actually hated cooking but she has to cook throughout her life. She was working for me and my sister till we grew up. Now she started cooking and working for my sons. Today is her birthday. We do celebrate and going to cook for her but its just for a day. From tomorrow she will start her, the routine life what she doesn’t like at all in the whole world. Now I want to give a good healthy society to my children. I want to teach them gender equality by practice. But its difficult. Its not me or my family only have to change. Its whole society have to change. We have a long run to complete. Men should not be the helpers for women, they should take the responsibility on daily basis. Whoever they are from the top level to the labour level all works in the family have to be shared. Daily morning from weekdays to weekends its duty of men also to cook ,maintain laundry, wash vessels ,maintain maids. When women can manage work and family together why not men can do it? A change arises from a single step what we do today, it will be a better change for girls of tomorrow. Hope many have girl children in your houses. Try to give her a good environment that she should not think by growing, that cooking is a women’s job. She is born to achieve something else in the society. Don’t train her mentally to be a good cook. Also cooking and household things are for the whole family , not only for the women’s of the family. I dont have a girl child but still I don’t want my future daughter in laws to rescue me from my kitchen. My sons have to take household responsibilities too. Will try hard to achieve this feat. My success and failures depends on the men around me. How they are going to handle this controversial article? Dr.SUHANYA PRASANNA KUMAR A press of new thoughts


Submitted: May 22, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Suhanya Prasannakumar. All rights reserved.

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Comments

glindagail77

This article was deeply touching, thought-provoking, and you are absolutely RIGHT. I don't have any advice, just here to tell you I agree 100% with your judgment. You are not alone. Lasting change takes time, and I hope we live to see the day when household chores and cooking are not automatically assigned to the girl who makes the least money in the house or the girl who has the most time, or the biggest heart. It should be equal between the boys and girls. I hope you and your family maintain your peace as you navigate the 21st century together. Your attitude will be a delight to your future daughters-in-law. Sincerely, GB

Fri, May 22nd, 2020 12:56am

LE. Berry

Thanks for speaking for women Suhanya...

Fri, May 22nd, 2020 10:09pm

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