I Want To Write

Reads: 186  | Likes: 6  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 9

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Cover image: Alex Iby on Unsplash.

I Want To Write

 

I want to put pen to paper

or tap out those keys

and write something amazing,

but it never works out

that way.

My inner critic,

my reticence to dig deep

and to express such true emotion

that it swirls up

from page or screen

to engross,

enrapture,

every bit of attention capture,

is a stumbling block

that I simply cannot leap across.

Held in check,

my words

come across as hollow,

belying the commitment I have

but choke back.

I want to write,

I really do,

but maybe it’s just falsity

if I can’t scream out the real me.

Not fake,

not untrue,

but it’s like a tap that’s stuck half on -

drip,

drip,

drip.

And sometimes I want to write it out

and then that paper...

rip the whole sheet into shreds.

 

 

 


Submitted: May 31, 2020

© Copyright 2021 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Jobe Rubens

You've certainly found the beat with this one. That's what I look for. A pulse behind everything. Is this a character you're writing about or is the 'inner critic' causing you a real problem? The look of this piece aloud itself to breathe. And what you said was enough to convey what might be bothering you. These little wobbles from time to time are natural. Your energy levels could be down. An early night can do wonders.

Sun, May 31st, 2020 7:30pm

Author
Reply

I think I'm in for a serious case of crashing and burning of confidence to be honest, Jobe. I'm trying to carry on, but honestly, for now I simply don't know why.
Thanks for reading.

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 1:03pm

88 fingers

Tell that inner critic to either get on the bandwagon with your writing or mind its own business.

Sun, May 31st, 2020 8:43pm

Author
Reply

Ha! Thanks, 88, but this is all true.

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 1:00pm

ShadyBrady

I hear you. I’d like to gather my words into a book to give to my friends when I’ve gone. Not because I’m such a great writer, but just so they might hold a piece of my consciousness in their hands, if they choose to do so, and remember who I thought I am.

Sun, May 31st, 2020 9:17pm

Author
Reply

That's a great way of putting it, SB. Thanks for reading.

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 12:59pm

Ziasum NT

You have written this poem wholeheartedly and in every word of the poem, readers will feel the emotions deeply.

Sun, May 31st, 2020 11:34pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much for saying that...

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 12:58pm

Mike S.

I think you're a fine writer, Hull, but excellent none-the-less!

Mon, June 1st, 2020 12:13am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Mike.

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 12:56pm

Melancholic Wisdom

I know this feeling all to well, I try to write every single night but a lot of times nothing can come out or what does come out is beaten to shit by that inner voice that is so hard to silence

Mon, June 1st, 2020 5:36am

Author
Reply

I don't know, MW, everything I write now just seems... wrong. I feel like a fraud and a failure rolled into one, but I still keep on tapping away at the keys.

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 12:53pm

Sue Harris

So relate to this, Hully. A pouring out of the heart, that inner voice, the constant up hill trudge and crippling self doubt. You are an inspiring writer and poet, so I am taking this as an interpretation of the image?

Mon, June 1st, 2020 8:37am

Author
Reply

Not at all. I had to find an image to go with it, Sue. Total lack of confidence is where I'm at right now.

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 12:51pm

HJ FURL

Goodness me, Hully, you really made me reflect here, we all go through that lack of confidence at times, far beyond writers block. You made me think, I have been there so many times myself...

Mon, June 1st, 2020 3:27pm

Author
Reply

A total loss of confidence, HJ. Thanks for reading.

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 12:49pm

Christy Writes

I've been dealing with this problem for a while now. I can't seem to write anything longer than a small poem. You really put my thoughts into words, Hully. Great work!

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 11:54am

Author
Reply

Thanks for giving this a read, Christy. It means a lot.

Tue, June 2nd, 2020 12:45pm

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