Chapter 3: Rivals

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 25

What exactly is love? That’s the question I find myself wondering, especially after that day…

 

The day he chose you over me… 

 

For the longest time, I thought I knew all that there was to love, I thought that my love was rightful, that it was just. But I see now that I was blind, held back by my childish insecurities born back when we were still in that small town. I know now that love comes in many forms; altruistic love for strangers we barely know; passionate physical love showcasing our innermost sexual desires; affectionate love for the friends we meet along the way; self love to remind us to take care of ourselves first before helping others; familial love which holds parent to child in an unbreakable blood bond; enduring love for those who are patient; playful love which fills our souls with infatuation during the early days of a new relationship…

 

And mania… for the obsessively destructive… 

 

The day of our reunification still lingers within my mind clear as crystal, unobscured by the fog of time. The Princess who had been locked away in her castle, and the country bumpkin were now just two regular young women in the bustling city. It had been over a decade since I'd last seen you. Your long doll-like locks had been cut to a length which was near indistinguishable from a boy's. Its perfectly well maintained shine, once comparable to the mirror-like surface of a calm flowing river, had turned matte and rough due to extensive lack of care. Your once pale porcelain skin had turned a fair shade darker, blending you easily into the common crowd. I'll admit, the sight before me at the time was certainly one to behold in. For you, of all people, were physically exhausting yourself by means of physical labour. 

 

You, the sheltered Princess who once looked petite enough that a gust of wind could easily take you into the skies, were moving boxes of sweets up and down all by yourself beneath the scorching summer sun. Even now, the thought of that day still leaves my jaw hanging in disbelief. You almost couldn't recognize me, I remember you exclaiming aloud with surprise entwined into your tone. The energy within your body seemed electric, like a dog finally seeing its owner after being apart for a long time. I on the other hand, remember wearing an expression on my face which could only be described as one who had seen the dead rise from the ground. The once light summer clothing atop my skin felt as though it had turned to medieval plating in an instant, weighing my body down towards the pavement. I did not wish to see you, not now, not ever, not in the rest of my lifetime. I remember despising you, with every fibre of my being, every ounce of my existence.

 

I had wished you were dead.

 

The Princess who stole from me what I thought was rightfully mine all those years ago.

 

I thought to myself at the time that it must have been fate's way of provoking me. Life had been peaceful and stable up till then, and fate decided that it needed a wrench thrown into all of it. I hated you. Your smile, your face, your personality, everything… 

 

I hated all of it. 

 

The smile on your face as you kept going on and on about how long it had been since we last saw each other seriously pissed me off. At the time, all I could remember thinking about was which hand I wanted to hit you with. Right? Left? Backhand? Forehand? Which part of your face did I want to destroy the most? Your perfect nose? Your angled cheeks? Your naturally beautiful eyes? Your pure pink lips? No matter where I looked, every corner of your face was just too perfect. The muscles in my arm quivered with excitement, ready to explode with a burst of energy. Finally, after all those years I thought that I would get to exact the feelings I never got the chance to reveal.

 

However, that would never come to pass as I forcibly held myself back upon hearing his voice carrying my name. Your attention was turned towards him in an instant, although it wasn't your name that he called. The emotion on your face was one of extreme happiness, yet it was hidden behind an expression of relief. After a decades long separation, fate had brought us three, rivals and former lovers, back together. 

 

Your happiness however, was short-lived. 

 

As you quickly realised that he no longer recognized you. 

 

It sunk into your brain that the difference between you and I, was that I never left. Him and I had always been together, long after you were gone. From the woodland forests to the great concrete jungle, I followed him. From our junior years in school to our final years in University. Through the sunniest days and the heaviest thunderstorms, I was always there with him. Compared to me, you were nothing more than an insignificant little childhood memory in his life. A drop of water in the middle of an ocean, a distant star in the vast Universe. The look of loss and defeat that befell upon your face was much more delectable compared to any searing red handprint I could have left behind on your perfect face. That was when I decided…

 

I wanted to destroy you. 

 

I wanted to chip away at that perfect exterior of yours.

 

Bit by bit.

 

Layer by layer.

 

Until all that was left was a naked frown and a broken pile of emotions.

 

I wanted to see you angry.

 

I wanted to see you cry.

 

I know now that my behaviour then was inexcusable. I had caused you harm, emotionally and physically, on purpose. The words I say now will never be able to reverse the actions I did to you and they certainly do not warrant any kind of forgiveness from you, but even so…

 

I am sorry.

 

Though we weren't a couple at the time, throwing myself into his arms and acting all lovey dovey was nothing out of the ordinary between us on a daily basis. And although he would be visibly annoyed by it, it was just one of those things he simply had to get used to with me being around. You watched in silence, with hope slowly draining from your eyes as I wrapped myself around his arm like a snake. My mind was in a state of euphoria as I flickered between my options.

 

Should I crush her more? 

 

Or let her go for today? 

 

I remember asking myself that within my mind as I watched on.

 

What I thought then was a hellish end to my day had quickly turned into one filled with extreme pleasure, so much so that I could hardly contain my sly smile. The feeling of grinding you beneath my boot was addicting to say the least. I thought to myself then that you would be the least of my worries after that day. After all, you could hardly even find it within yourself to speak up about your identity, what good would it do for me to worry? He questioned our relationship as we left, wondering if we had met previously, as well as the reason for my undying ear to ear grin.

 

My answer to him is one I shall never forget, for it was dripping with such malice that I shudder even as I recall it now. 

 

“She’s an old memory. An old loathsome memory that I can finally laugh at.”

 


Submitted: October 06, 2020

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