Featured Review on this writing by Mochii

Why I Wear A Mask At Work

Reads: 200  | Likes: 21  | Shelves: 14  | Comments: 11

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
“Everyone should just wear a damn mask.”–Senator Marco Rubio (R-Fla)

Submitted: June 27, 2020

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 27, 2020

A A A

A A A


Lately, wearing masks has been a hotly debated topic.  Epidemiologists say it’s the most effective way to combat the spread of Covid-19.  Others say, “Mask? I don’t need no stinking mask.”  I just chuckle.  I’ve been wearing a mask at work for years.  Doesn’t bother me at all.
 
It started when I became a professional wrestler.  Vince McMahon said, “Serge, WWE is a family oriented show.  I can’t have parents complaining about their children crying every time they see your ugly mug on TV.”
 
So, I got a really cool mask.  Blue, with red flames.  I was Flamethrower Guy.  My homemade flamethrower spit fire into the air, over the heads of the fans, as I made my way to the ring.  I built it out of a barbeque grill and the tailpipe from a 1971 Ford Pinto.
 
Everything was going great, until one Monday night, when Triple H picked me up and threw me over the top rope.  I landed on the announcer’s desk, on top of Jerry “The King” Lawler’s crown.  The fractured vertebrae healed in a few months.  But the doctor told me, “Serge, it’s too dangerous.  I can’t clear you to return to the ring.  No more wrestling for you.”
 
You can’t keep a good man down. Not a chance.  When Serge Wlodarski falls off of his tricycle, he gets right back on.
 
Now, I’m in the financial sector.  I work for myself.  No more bosses.  I’m a cash procurement specialist.  I work when I want, where I want.
 
On work days, I shower, shave, and eat a bowl of Quaker oatmeal for breakfast.  I select a three piece suit from the closet.  I grab the briefcase and check my tie in the mirror.  The knot has to be a perfect triangle.  I don the mask, and head out the apartment door.
 
I take the subway downtown, walk through the office door, up to the first available teller.  I hand them a note that says, “This is a robbery.  I have a gun.  Put all your money in the briefcase.  Leave out the dye packs.”
 
Moments later, I’m on a crowded sidewalk.  These days I blend right in.  I gotta say, robbing banks is super duper easy when everyone is wearing a mask.


© Copyright 2020 Serge Wlodarski. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply