Waif

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

Kathleen was just enjoying her juice. But the knife was too close to her.

 

-I cannot believe that I’ve raised such an ignorant wench!

You’re probably wondering who said that. Also, where. And why. And who were those words addressed to. And maybe you have some other questions as well. Just hang on in there for another two seconds, I promise I’ll answer everything. Hopefully. Depends on a question. If you’re about to ask me who created the first language ever spoken, then let me stop you right there because I don’t know. Just Google it. I heard that helps. But anyway, let me get back to what I was saying earlier. 

-How dare you speak to me in that tone, you wench?

-I have a name if you forgot.

-Look at that little prick! Think you’re the smartest one here, Kathleen?

Kathleen took another sip of her peach juice and held it in for a few seconds in her mouth. She just bought that brand yesterday and apparently will never buy it again.

-Why can’t you just say something?- her mom carried on in an irritated tone. 

-I don’t think you would want to continue listening to my “ tone”, - smiled Kathleen. -You know what?- her mom suddenly left the dishes, walked over to Kathleen and disrupted her peaceful juice drinking ceremony by snatching the cup out of her hand and throwing it against the floor. The cup broke into 8 irregular sharp pieces, with one of them looking like a waning crescent. 

-I didn’t finish my juice yet,- frowned Kathleen at the wet art on the floor. Yes, it all was covered in peach juice.

-I am so fed up with you and your pessimism! Do you ever show any emotions? Oh wait, you can’t. And you know why? Because you have no soul. You have no heart. You are nothing. And you will never be. 

-Stop already, will you?- Kathleen jumped up off the chair and pushed her mom away. - Do you have to say that every time? Do you even care about me? Do you even want me?

-I never even wanted you Kathleen,-smiled she.- I wanted you to die from the very beginning. But your grandmother wouldn’t let me hurt you. Why did I listen to her back then? Just why? 

-I ask that myself too,- whispered Kathleen, trying her best to hold the tears in.- You should have just killed me back then so that I wouldn’t have to suffer like that.

-So what’s holding you? It’s not that hard to do,- she smirked.

-You’re disgusting! I hate you!

Kathleen ran out of the kitchen, accompanied by the wretched laugh of that woman she called mom. No matter how much she hated her, that woman had a point. Her life was an endless suffering which could be so easily ended. Just one quick movement, a few moments of pain and that’s it, it’s over. What was there to lose? Her own mother wanted her dead. Her life wasn’t important anyway. Or was it? Kathleen was just an ordinary girl, with frizzy puffed up hair which wouldn’t stay down during windy or rainy days, making her look like a scarecrow. Her eyes were simple dark brown, with no glow or secret. She was just Kathleen. No, not just Kathleen. She was an unneeded Kathleen. She was supposed to die 16 years ago. But didn’t. And this upset her mother, making her develop an enormous hatred for her own child. But her mother won’t be upset anymore. Kathleen will make her dream come true. She will release her of that burden today. Her mother will be happy again. Even though she doesn’t deserve it. What if it was just an impulse? What if it was wrong, and Kathleen was making the biggest mistake in her life? The knife was already in her right hand, floating steadily in the air, above her left wrist. This would hurt so badly. She knew it would. How else would cutting the flesh alive feel like? 

-Put that down, kid,- a calm voice told her. Was it Jesus speaking to her?

-Kathleen, you can hurt yourself, goddamn it,- cursed the voice, going from calm to irritated. No, Jesus doesn’t curse. It was her grandmother. Her mom’s words echoed through the room. “ But your grandmother wouldn’t let me hurt you.”

-Can I ask you something, Nan?-Kathleen still has the knife over her left wrist.- Why did you stop her?

-What do you mean?

-Why didn’t you let her kill me when I was still a newborn?

-Kathleen…-Nan gently put her hand on Kathleen’s hand, the one that was holding the knife, and slowly pulled it down.

-Why? 

-Kat…

-You should’ve just let her do it, you know,- smiled Kathleen, watching her grandmother trying to pull the knife out of her hand.- She would’ve been so much happier. And me, I would’ve never suffered through all of this. 

-Listen to me… 

-I can’t stand this anymore, do you understand? I can’t put up with this! My own mother hates me! 

-Kathleen…

-What’s next? Huh? I don’t want to know! I want to end this finally! And that woman? How in the world are the two of us related?

-You’re not,- said Nan.- Not related. 

-What?

-Kathleen, you’re not her daughter.

Kathleen laughed. 

-There is absolutely nothing funny about this,- Nan was finally able to take the knife away from her.- You’re not her daughter.

-So I’m adopted?

Nan didn’t say anything.

-Why are you only telling me now?

-You’re not even adopted, Kath. She doesn’t have official documents on you. 

-What do you mean?

 

-Simply speaking, you’re a foundling. A waif, as they would call it on the streets.

A founding. A waif. None of those words were making sense to her.

-It was a pleasant day,- said Nan.- A warm one, too. Just a few days before my birthday. I will never forget that day. I will never forget that shock from seeing a little crib next to my door with a newborn baby in it, all blue from spending an entire night outside in the cold. What could I do? Of course I took you in. My daughter didn’t want you. “What are we going to do with her? Only an extra mouth to feed.” But I wouldn’t let you rot in those filthy orphanages. I named you Kathleen, which means pure. 

It was still not making any sense at all. Kathleen just stood there, helplessly looking at her grandmother, at her Nan. But was she her Nan? Who was she to her?

-Kathleen, please,- Nan gently struck her shoulder.- Listen to me. I know you’re shocked, I know you might hate me now, for keeping this a secret for such a long time.

-You were lying to me all this time!- screamed Kathleen. The tears were choking her and her vision got all blurred out from crying.- You were the only one I trusted! And now? Now you tell me that I’m a bastard?

-Bastard is a completely different thing, love.

-I don’t care!- yelled Kathleen, pushing her Nan’s arms away.- And don’t you dare call me love! Oh God, why can’t I just have a normal life like everyone else?

-Kathleen, please, let’s calm down,- Nan tried to wrap her into a hug but instead Kathleen snatched the knife from her hand and without any hesitation, cut a deep line along her wrist.

-Dear Lord, what have you done?Kathleen!

She was expecting blood to spray out but it was only slowly coming out of the wound, running down her skin and dripping on the floor. “Mom will have a lot to clean up later”,thought Kathleen, watching how the drips have already formed a little puddle on the floor. Her grandmother ran out to ring the ambulance. Grandmother. She didn’t even know how to call her anymore. Kathleen put the knife into her other hand and cut the same wound on her right arm. This cut was much better, it took only ten seconds for the puddle to form.

-Kathleen, the ambulance is on its way,- Nan ran in.-Oh no. Kathleen?

Her eyes were closing. A nap would be great right now. Just to get her energy back. Nobody wants to show up to hell tired.

 

 
 


Submitted: August 18, 2020

© Copyright 2022 Calypso06. All rights reserved.

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