Korin Of Venigast

Reads: 1002 | Likes: 5 | Shelves: 3 | Comments: 5

The tales of Anastasia Korin--a female of great power born with the mark of Legacy--an ancient magic wielded by females of 'noble' birth and a warrior's spirit.. With her companion Sebastian, they leave Venigast on a mission to save all of Ro'anoth--the Kingdom of Pearl--but other forces seek to stop their quest. Its up to Ana to find and unite her powers with the two others born with Legacy, and end the darkness that sweeps the land.

Fantasy fantasy magic fighting dd

Chapter 1

It Begins

Flame and fury roared as Sebastian stood in the smoky fields of Venigast. The haze of death fell a... Read Chapter

Chapter 2

Gehest

Ana and Sebastian strolled into Gehest seemingly unnoticed. The small fields surrounding the town had bee... Read Chapter

Chapter 3

The Sibling

Ana And Sebastian's help in Gehest comes to a close thanks to a mysterious robed figure. Who is it? Is it someone they know? How does this interaction push them forward on their journey. Sebastian
has little clue, but Ana does. And its a boon to find this stranger so early.
Read Chapter

Start Reading

Recent Comments

Celtic-Scribe63

I have to say I really enjoyed this.
Sebastian and Korin have great chemistry and it shines through with your humorous and witty writing.
Descriptive writing is lush and easy to visualize.
And as expected, your presentation is immaculate.
I will definitely be dipping my toes back into this super fun yarn, very soon.
All the best
CS63.

Wed, September 30th, 2020 7:28am

Author
Reply

Thanks. I'm writing this one more for the fun of it--a little omage to Dungeons 'n' Dragons you might say. I'm still in development with it right now for the direction I want to take the story in which is why I only have a couple of chapters done. I don't expect the story to be very long overall, though. Hopefully, I'll dive back into it some more before getting wrapped up in my novel editing again.

I appreciate the read, CS63.

Wed, September 30th, 2020 6:34pm

Evan Drake

This was a nice intro. Sebastian and Korin sound like a strong pair. You did a great job establishing each character as an individual and how they react to each other. Excellent job with the battle scene as well. Action scenes are hard to write but it flowed well here.

The only real thing I noticed is the narrative. During a few points in the chapter it switches from third-person to first-person and there's a paragraph to tells things from Korin's POV when the chapter seems to be primarily from Sebasitan's perspective. I also feel the final paragraph is unneeded. You clearly established their relationship through their interactions and describe them well enough so it repeats what the reader already knows.

I really liked this and look forward to reading more of it. I'm very curious to see where this leads.

Sat, October 3rd, 2020 2:34am

Author
Reply

Yeah, I need to get into that chapter to finish the edits I was doing. So, I'm aware of the hiccups there. That first person POV was part of the original draft i missed when I went through it a week ago.

Thanks for the read, Evan.

Fri, October 2nd, 2020 8:42pm

Archia

What an exciting start. If a story starts with a fight scene it can only continue to be exciting. I thought it was very vivid and I liked that I could follow along with it. Often fight scenes can get too convoluted and difficult to understand but I could easily flow with your writing and picture it all.
Something that I noticed, which is more of a pet peeve of mine, is that the character's use each other's name's a lot when they're talking to each other. When there's only two in a conversation it's not necessary.
Saying that, I like the relationship between Anastasia and Sebastian. They seem to be good friends, and a bit playful which each other and I'm curious to know how they meet.
All in all, it is a great and exciting start.

Sat, October 3rd, 2020 12:35pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, Archia. I still needed to finish editing this chapter since there is a spot or two that my original draft still shows through--First person POV issues mainly. I'll take a look at the dialogue to see if i can tone down the use of names also.

Appreciate the feedback.

P.S. Chapter 2 gets even better with the relationship building.

Sat, October 3rd, 2020 6:59am