The World Will Be Okay

Reads: 802  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 2  | Comments: 12

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

The thing is life was falling down around you and you knew you would get through it. You just weren’t sure you wanted to.
Some people have big stories, some people tell of their heroic deeds or the deep struggles that they've fought through. And some people are just there, even if you don't see them.
Little things remind you of the past, the waft of a candle, or the wind of a bus as it passes you again. What type of person are you?

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

The thing is life was falling down around you and you knew you would get through it. You just weren’t sure you wanted to.   ... Read Chapter

chapter 2

“Norah?” You drag down a curl of hair and watch it flick back into place. Someone once said that your hair ch... Read Chapter

Chapter 3

      “What are you doing next week?” You ask as you sip the mango smoothie. “I have to go to a fune... Read Chapter

Chapter 4

It was a petty day. The rain was half-drizzling, there was a slight mist but barely a fog, and if you stood in the right spot a... Read Chapter

Chapter 5

You switch the television on and head into the kitchen. The news it just ending up, the weather being read out as you listen to the high ... Read Chapter

Chapter 6

Sitting at your desk you listen to the phone ringing. The short, brill tones roll into the other, almost a grating sound as if telling yo... Read Chapter

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Recent Comments

Susan Donovan

Having just read this part I think this is a person thinking to themselves and trying to build themselves up. I think they remember being a kid and being scared maybe abused, and in some ways they still feel trapped in the same room as the same person. Some wording was a little confusing but nothing major.

Sun, November 22nd, 2020 11:28pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading this. I'll go back and have a look at some of the wording, I know that it isn't always smooth and it's something that I'm working on.

Mon, November 23rd, 2020 4:27pm

G. Adams

I think we always tell ourselves we won’t be that kid anymore, but it is what it is. I was wondering why the person was having an ‘episode’.

Sat, February 27th, 2021 1:40am

Author
Reply

Thanks very much for reading.

Mon, March 1st, 2021 3:30am

DiyaSL

Nice Entry !!!

We always try to think that 'the world will be okay' and it may change. But, we are the ones who should change (positively). Being rich with money is not the only happiness. We should be rich with positive thoughts and good attitudes.
Your story is such an inspirational story for each an every person in the world. By the way, I will read the next chapters of this interesting novel.
I wish you the best of luck for your future writings. :)

Sun, August 1st, 2021 3:29pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much for reading Diyana. Your comments are very lovely and much appreciated.

Sun, August 1st, 2021 3:59pm

Eraser

It's a harrowing sketch of a person who is really having trouble with the world. The only part I don't fully get is the description of the room and what's changed. Is this to mark the passage of time? The furniture has changed but nothing else has? Thanks for the thoughtful read.

Thu, October 7th, 2021 1:12am

Author
Reply

I do need to edit some bits of this to make it clearer. I tend to forgot that although I know everything in my head, not everyone does. Thanks for reading!

Wed, October 6th, 2021 9:27pm

FD6K

chapter 1

First off, Archia, I really enjoyed your short stories and was excited to see your name at the bottom of the list for reviews. I'm not disappointed.

I think the first few sentences are a nice pitch, but I think the first sentence of the second paragraph - 'You used to sit-' is a great first line. It's a word picture that grabs the reader. Honestly, most of this chapter is word pictures, nicely crafted.

The voice is what I appreciate from your other pieces - spare but engaging. It's easy for your reader to follow. Compelled to follow. This simplicity of prose adds to he power of your story. It's that light touch. It means that even when the content becomes heavier, it doesn't feel like sentiment.

It's a short chapter but the pace is right. And being short makes it easier to feel like you want to see where it goes next.

'The world will be okay,' you murmur, and it calms you. - perfect!

My suggestions are few but here they are:

The first paragraph uses 'You'd' a lot. It's not a big problem, but it's also easy to fix. 'You cried-' or 'You heard-' or 'You hurried-' could replace these. This little change also brings the reader in closer. It becomes more of a retelling. It sort of continues in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs (and into the 4th) where you use 'had' or 'had been'. This definitely has it's place but, for me, it's more powerful when used sparingly. 'The pink drawers replaced by a nice dresser and wardrobe set.'

'You had thought the tears had changed -' just remove the first had.

I can't say I'm 100% on board with second person narrative here, but I'm willing to go with you for now as I really enjoyed it. And it brings a fresh perspective, away from 1st person.

Overall, it's a great start, and you've left me wanting to read more. Which I think I will. Well done!

Sat, October 9th, 2021 12:01am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for all your insightful comments, it's very helpful. I'll definitely be mindful from now on about how many 'you'd' I use.

Fri, October 8th, 2021 6:31pm

Facebook Comments

Boosted Content from Premium Members

Short Story / Religion and Spirituality

Book / Religion and Spirituality

Short Story / Flash Fiction

Other Content by Archia

Writing Contest / Other

Short Story / Other

Short Story / Other