Chapter 5: Chapter 5

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 66
Comments: 1

You switch the television on and head into the kitchen. The news it just ending up, the weather being read out as you listen to the high numbers being announced. Taking a quick peek you see the map and grimace. It was going to be hot tomorrow, hotter than you wanted it to be. Summer was almost ending but there were still going to be a few hot days. You tug at the dress you’re wearing, it had been creased when you’d put it on, not bothering to iron it, but it didn’t matter since you were only wearing it around the house.

“Are you getting ready, we need to be going soon?”

“I’m ironing my dress, what do you think?” You try not to shake the hot iron at her.

“Fifteen minutes.”

You pull the big-skirted dress over the end of the ironing board and start moving up between the pleats. There was over two metres of material, you knew that because you had measured it when making it shorter. It wasn’t too short for your modest taste, sitting just above the knee now, but chopping and hemming it had been a tedious process.

You move up too quickly, a hot line forming in a diagonal across the dress. Your fingers holding the iron tighten. Looking away, you quickly go up again and then once more. Knowing that you didn’t have time to make it perfect you move onto the next part without looking. You didn’t want to look, you couldn’t cope to see the crease out of place. The anger was already rising in your chest, there was a noise building in your throat and your arms were clenching to throw something across the room. The iron gripped tightly in your hand.

Quickly you pulled it up and let go. You knew what was about to happen and you didn’t want to be throwing an iron across the room. Breathing in deeply you look around the room and then back at the dress.

“Quickly now,” you murmur to yourself. “No one will notice the creases, you’ll forget about them.”

Picking up your pace, trying to not look too hard, you keep going until you reach the beginning. Hastening to turn the iron off, you pull the dress off the board and head to your room.

“Norah!” You hear the short. “Are you ready?”

“It hasn’t been fifteen minutes,” you shout back.

“You have one minute left.”

You knew you should’ve done this earlier, but you hate accepting it takes you fifteen minutes to iron one piece of clothing.

When you return with your cup of tea, the newsreader is rolling off the day’s headlines. The premier had made an announcement about water taxes, the lawsuit against the mining company had failed, the virus was spreading and there was a dog that pulled a drowning child from the water. Nothing particularly consequential, nothing momentous to note.

The song rolled out and another one replaced it. You settled down onto the couch. For all the quiz shows you watched, you weren’t very good at answering questions. It would be fun to go on a game show, but you’d have better luck at one of the ones where you need to jump across giant balls or solve problems meant for fifth graders. You weren’t particularly the smartest grape on the vine.

“That’s pretty.”

“Thanks Dad.” You look up at the man with a marker in one hand and a stamp in the other. “I’m making a trail for the dogs footprints.”

He holds the sheet up and scrutinises it from a distance.

“It’s looking great. So great you may not want to do more.”

“But the dog needs footprints.”

“It will look messy.”

The page was a mass of different colours and stamps, but you were creating a story. The person had just come from the fair with their dog that had gotten cute new dog boots which left big footprints. Their was a story to it.

“I like the footprints.”

“Okay dear, you do want you want, but don’t overdo it.”

You may not know what an adjective is but at least you could win a colouring-in competition.


Submitted: November 29, 2020

© Copyright 2022 Archia. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Matthew Hair

Okay. Hi. I'm from the Review Chain. I love this. The 2nd person perspective was a bit jarring at first, but that quickly passed. I really appreciate seeing someone experimenting with 2nd person. Usually, it's avoided like the plague.

Another minor criticism is grammar. This is mostly just in the earlier chapters, though. Some phrasing is a bit difficult to understand, and there is some lacking commas and such.

The protagonist is very interesting. She seems to be an analysis on depression. Some of the moments are very realistic. It's like a character study, each chapter letting us into her mind for a moment. It's really fascinating. I love it. Please keep writing this. I'll definitely keep reading.

Sat, January 30th, 2021 4:20am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading and for all your comments. I appreciate the thought you put into it. I do need to go back and take a look at the grammar and I have been trying to make it less jarring because I know it's not the smoothest thing to read.

Sun, January 31st, 2021 3:54pm

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