Post #1 Courage

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” -E.E. Cummings

Hearing these words as a young college student during my last visit with my grief counselor, I was met with a tough decision. How do I move forward? How do I become who I really am? It has been at least eight years since my mom left and I’ve had to figure out exactly that. My mother was always my rock, my guidance, my support. Not having her around took a lot from me emotionally and it took more courage then I knew I had to finally be at peace with her passing, rebuild my life, and search for my purpose.

This quote ignited my flame, it sparked my inspiration and led me to come to terms with where I am in life, love who I am and accept my whole self…flaws and graces. About six years ago, after coming out of a rough patch, I was sitting on my bed as the following poem came to me. I have been writing for more than half of my life and by no means do I feel this is my best piece of work, but it is my most simple, honest, and healing piece so far. This was the first time, in a long time, that I actually gave myself time to think about what makes me tick and relive my own story without passing judgement.

Becoming Me

Strong, Confident, Reasonable, Caring, Sensitive
These personality traits are what I aspire to possess
Each day when I look into my own eyes
I stare longer so that I can dig deeper to find the true me

I love being sentimental, at ease with my thoughts
I love thinking long and hard about solving a problem
And then responding in the moment
Instead of reading my “perfectly”-worded letters

When I say “Have a great day” to my customers… I mean it
When someone says something thought-provoking
I reflect on it and try to apply the lessons to my life

When I think of my family, I can see
How sometimes it really does have to get worse
Before it can become better
I can see this when I’m starring deep into my own eyes as well

I am sensitive to those around me because I care
I care because I believe all living things matter
Each soul has its place for a reason and each reason its place
I am getting better at trusting my instincts… They’re good ones
I am becoming more fearless as I tackle my hesitations and doubts

I love deeper as I dig deeper within and open old wounds
Only to discover they never healed because I didn’t feel my pain
I have much learning and growing to do in this life and the next
And I have even more courage to become who I really am

I love you mom, and I miss you. Thank you for all that you’ve done for me. Although you’re gone, you’re not forgotten. I feel you with me in my heart and mind always.

There are obstacles and cherished moments which we are each met with in life. The question is, do you have the courage to always be true to yourself and honor your soul within? Though this is only the start of my journey, I’ve realized that I have the courage to become who I really am and it’s time to let my mind wander and my soul sing! Life is meant to be lived and love is meant to be shared.

Submitted: September 23, 2020

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