For Brown Girls

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


For Brown Girls

I wanted to wrap her silk skin
around my arms like a Christmas gift
and glue her plastic face on to mine.
Maybe then, he would finally see me
behind the blue eyes I scooped out of her sockets
and embroidered the blood vessels of my eyeballs
with the ends of her ripped ones
They tangled like branching rivers
wondering on an Ariel fan
You’d think they were vines grown in winter,
but you are mistaken
they were grapes grown in my vineyard in summer,
and extracted into wine
Advertisement of a free world taught me this,
to glorify everything you’re not, and attach your vulnerability to it They were veins intertwined by desire,
like a doll sewed together by a red thread and dirty needle,

And all because I wanted to be beautiful

I wanted her sculpted body
the way an American society
discovers scraps of red clay
buried beneath wet soil of Indigenous land. Once, this clay was made into ceramic

that depicted paintings of my ancestors’ bruised feet,
and auctioned off from their starving backs to the conquerors Now here I was, wanting to be molded into one,
a child’s play thing, sculpted out of sugar loaf white
for boys that are easily amused,

And all because I wanted him to notice me

At last, I would begin my transition.
Oh how the pain conquered my appetite.
I had two meals that year
and I will never forget how the world undressed me each day
like cotton spilling out from a thrown away doll
I was shown the teeth of my ribs
eating their way through my skin, like a hunter feasting on its prey.
I touched the base of my body
where the dirty needle use to stab into my stomach,
and all that was left now were bones.
The thickness and fragile version of me was finally gone
yet, one touch from a human being and I’d break into a million pieces. I couldn’t help but to let go
and drown in the pool of my tears
How can this be?
I became less than what I intended to be,

And all because I wanted him to love me


Submitted: October 16, 2020

© Copyright 2020 RosiePolli3. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Stellanotte

Wonderful poem

Sat, October 24th, 2020 6:05pm

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