The Fruit Bowl

Reads: 57  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

I've been having a lot of issues with depression lately so am working through a creative writing course. This is a piece of prose written for one of the early exercises.

Cover image: pixabay.com.

Writing Exercise . The Fruit Bowl.

 

The sun slithers its way through a slight gap that has been left between the drapes. It lights up the dust motes that seem almost incongruous inside the empty room. A table takes center stage, four chairs pushed neatly in around it. White fabric covers the wooden surface. It is a scene of almost perfection; if only it wasn’t for the particles of dust that drift through the air, and for the bowl of fruit.

You would not need to look closely to see how rotten the fruit has become. Apples, still green apart from the brown bruise marks, have lost their smoothness, their skin now dull and shrivelled. The bananas are almost black, seeping their liquefied middles through the splits in their skins. But perhaps it is the oranges that draw the most attention. Just patches of their original color remain visible while most of their surface has become a mixture of moldy white and green. The smell of the fermenting fruit permeates the air and would make one gag should any person dare to step onto the scene.

 

 

Two paragraphs reduced to two sentences:

 

Crisp white linen obscures the tabletop, around which four chairs are perfectly arranged. But the eyes are drawn away from the bleached whiteness towards the wooden bowl that sits overflowing with rotten fruit.

 

 


Submitted: October 18, 2020

© Copyright 2020 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Joe Stuart

I wouldn't have thought you would need lessons in creative writing, Hully, but if it is in any way helpful to you, go for it. I would be interested to know which version of the story the course recommends. The first version includes some wonderfully descriptive prose, and a lot of readers like that. However, I prefer the short version. As a reader, I often get impatient with unnecessary description, and just want to get on with the story.

Sun, October 18th, 2020 7:26pm

Author
Reply

The exercise was to write two paragraphs and then to condense it in to two sentences. I'm not sure if one or other was recommended or if it was just an exercise in different approaches.
I'm struggling these days, Joe. I thought it might help to get me to focus, but I haven't got any further with the course yet.

Sun, October 25th, 2020 7:16am

Mike S.

Excellent, Hull

Sun, October 18th, 2020 9:51pm

Author
Reply

This was exercise 1. I haven't got any further yet. Thanks for giving it a read.

Sun, October 25th, 2020 7:11am

Serge Wlodarski

Reminds me of when I've entered writing contests with a word limit. I spent more time editing for length than writing the story.

Mon, October 19th, 2020 11:13am

Author
Reply

Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Serge, just trying to get a bit of confidence back and failing.

Sat, October 24th, 2020 11:49am

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