I don't want to name this

Reads: 38  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 1

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHAHHHHAHHHHHHHAHHH...

Well that was fun to scream. Half of me wants to commit suicide. It's like a little kid at a candy shop. I'm crying write now. I always want to cry. Fuck. ughhh. Tears normally never come. I told my self too many times that I have to pull myself together, I have to be calm, I have to protect other people , I have to be strong, FUUUCK .. I can't see the screen, my tear are bloting my eyes. I want to break down. I want to hide in an fetal position and just cry as much as I want to. I don't want to cope anymore. I don't want to go in these fucking toxic cycles anymore. I hate the stupid part of my mind that is so self concious of people or this audience or anybody. I hate the part of me even if it is a small part of me that sees the cash prize and the recognition and wants that. That egotistical side that wants so desperately to be validated to be heard. I don't want the fucking prize. My handtowel on my desk has all my tears now. disappeared into it. I'm calm. Unfortunately. My mind feels like it is broken in half grating against one another. I want to heal, I want to write music. Maybe I'll go on a walk write now. Ugh my stomach feels like shit. 


Submitted: October 20, 2020

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Criss Sole

Hang in there....

Thu, October 29th, 2020 7:58am

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