The Line is So Thin

Reads: 42  | Likes: 2  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Between life with myself, or death with you, the line is so thin....this is my last piece of Poetry for a while.

I'm crawling to a picture of you to hold in my cold hands.
The picture never feels warm because I'll only be holding paper.
It feels like a sin, losing the touch of your dreams, for your death.
I feel your presence, haunting me like a ghost, asking me to die.
Part of me wants to become a ghost, but I will lose my human host.
Human emotions are not invisible when I am living and breathing.
Being human I see light and dreams, something missing in your death.
The line is so thin, where do I begin?
 
You are making this worse because these four walls are fucking haunting me.
Your presence cold on each wall I touch, the city of cemeteries.
You don't speak, and it makes my depression become bleak.
Trying to forget you I inject my body with drugs.
Amnesia doesn't run through my veins, it only remembers your name.
I see your reflection in the mirror looking more human than myself.
You haunt yourself into a wall and that is a door a human cannot follow.
The line is so thin, so why can't I fucking win?
 
A new day is living like a child not knowing that death does exist.
When I was young, childhood was over, the moment I learnt that I would die.
You haven't been here today and I need you more than ever.
I just want to sleep, because life is frozen without love.
I inject another needle into my vein to increase my steroids of death.
The worm of heroin raping my vein as it burrows through the cold earth of my life.
People don't care about me, so I ask you to set me free.
The line is so thin, why won't you let me in?
 
I'm meant to be at work today, but I'd rather do production work with this needle.
I see your face again and you live again in my dreams.
In my dreams, you walk into haunting walls, looking fucking beautiful.
You are the poltergeist of my existence and I want you more.
I may be selfish, but death is my only wish.
Keep showing me my dream so that I can hang myself in your eyes.
I hate waking up in the morning and realising that I was never there.
The line is so thin, am I walking out of my own skin?
 
The nightmare of my life is not worth living.
I have these nightmares each day and they do not go away.
The misery of life without you is like a river flowing down a waterfall.
The crashing nightmare is a dream exploding in our sky.
When I don't think of you I prefer to have a nightmare.
When I do think of you I prefer to have a dream.
I don't know if I should live, or if I should die. 
The line is so thin, play the song of death on a violin.
 
I put a knife against my throat because I have a decision to make.
I love you but you never had the guts to open up.
If you did the world would of done the same, and I wouldn't carry the blame.
But I love you, while life has failed me, so don't take the knife way.
Nobody is knocking on my door trying to save me.
You stand in front of me, being the instructions of my death.
The knife is the boat I am in, sailing across the slashing river of my throat.
The line is so thin, the exorcism of my Yang, is now a ghost with your Yin.
 
The Line is So Thin © 2020 Dexter Angelus Draven. All rights reserved.


Submitted: October 25, 2020

© Copyright 2020 LeParadisGothique. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

hullabaloo22

Very hard to read because this is full of such raw emotion and pain. Deeply dark in its descriptions, Dexter.

Sun, October 25th, 2020 7:06pm

Author
Reply

My aim here was to show that the line between light and dark, dreams and nightmares, and life and death is so thin. It shows how mortal we are because there is no middle ground. Thanks for reading Hully.

Sun, October 25th, 2020 2:49pm

BriannasBooks

This poem is a knockout and really shows how dark our minds can get sometimes. One person can change your life drastically, and when they are gone, it can make life feel like a living nightmare. The repetition of "the line is so thin" really enforced what it feels like to be so close to the edge, ready to snap at any given moment. People turn to drugs as a way of coping because it temporarily takes away the pain, and you really showed that in this poem. As always, your poetry never ceases to amaze me and showcases the dark side of life that people are afraid of. Well done and I'm definitely looking forward to more from you! :)

Fri, October 30th, 2020 4:19pm

Author
Reply

Sorry for the late response. I think it's underrated how dark life is, and loss is definitely a factor that enforces this. People just change in an instant, and things like drugs become their most prized possessions. It doesn't matter what shows us the dark side of life, because the coping mechanism will be the same - suicide, drugs etc. I agree that people are afraid of the dark side of life, and that's why it is underrated. Thanks Brianna :)

Mon, November 9th, 2020 3:30pm

CJ Spuddz

This poem is so freakin good dude. It captures so much of what it means to need an escape, be it love, drugs, dreams, and even nightmares. I think my favorite line is “I just want to sleep, because life is frozen without love.” I had a lot of days back in the day when I felt like this, feeling like hope was gone and sh*t wouldn’t get better unless I was getting high and could forget everything for a good couple hours- for me your poem here really took me back and reminded me how it feels to cope with those thoughts. I wrote a lot of poems like this back in those days but this is wayy better than any of those.

Another thing you I love the back and forth of the narrators images of his dreams, to his reality again, the way the thoughts keep spilling over and over felt like I was swimming in an ocean during a storm as I read it. Keep up the good work!

Wed, December 2nd, 2020 11:59am

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