Midnight Thoughts

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Written in bed, 10 minutes from tomorrow (11:50 pm)

The middle of the night wakes me up like that turn on the drive home

I recognize the road before I open my eyes, like the time before checking my phone

It’s part of my routine, waking up the same time every night

As if I’m still obeying an alarm I set in a past life

In the dark, every second is deceitful and disguised as a minute

And you pace through my thoughts like a mother who’s lost it

I haven’t moved yet so I can’t tell where my arms lay

My body hasn’t caught up, I blame that on the cabernet

My eyes try to follow the blades of the ceiling fan

For a moment they take shape but become a blur again

Why does the night wake me just to leave me behind?

It’s someone calling your name then forgetting why

And I can’t tell if I wake up slowly or all at once

Is this a new dream or have I had it for months?

I think about how new places can feel so familiar

Not like I’ve been there before, but I know the owner

My thoughts drift to what happens in a second

A lifetime is lived and spread across the planet

Someone is laughing while someone is crying

A baby is being born while another person is dying

My thoughts drift until they no longer need me

I wait for sleep and look through a magazine in the lobby

You’re still pacing back and forth, but far away now

It’s merely implied that you’re here, a silent vowel

Closing my eyes doesn’t help at all, it’s just a conscious effort

My arms are still lost, but I can feel the fibers of my sweatshirt

I wonder, am I awake just to count the seconds?

Is it my watch now? Or is the moon just expectant?

Maybe I’ll never know the reason for sleepless nights

And maybe you’ll continue to pace for the rest of my life

Submitted: October 26, 2020

© Copyright 2020 sarah emily. All rights reserved.

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