I Still Know She's Not You

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

taken from my book, "Dominance Issues"

I Still Know She's Not You

-

The trouble I see

When I think of you and me

And how we used to be able to meet

In-person meetings are gone

Without you, I can't go on

You were the milk of my chocolate

The fire of my desire

Now I can't see you, at all

I fall on the ground, and splatter

You were the food on my platter

Now you're a disappearance

And a vanished character

That remains in my heart

Making my life hard

But it's not your fault

It's the pandemic

That is keeping us from each other

All I know is you mean everything to me, still

Wile I continue to mean nothing, to you

The fear of you being gone forever

Burns in my head

Fiery flames of my mind on fire

And the pain

All I have is the memory of you

To keep me going

As I live without you

For as long as the shutdown lasts

We may never see each other again

And while that doesn't matter to you

'Cause it never has

It breaks my heart

And wrecks my mind

Destroying my spirit

Causing inner death

And strife

How I'll always want you to be mine

But does it matter?

You've never felt the same for me

And you will never

I long to be able to let go of you

And what I feel inside

As I die my deathly death

Here, without you

In a world of danger, and decay

An endless world of pain and misery

Lies ahead on the road of this so-called "life"

That dies inside of me

I want to reach you

And your Heavenly body

But you don't have any idea

That you're loved by a freak

And that's how things will stay

Until life's end

Nobody will tell you for me

Because nobody cares

Which is a good thing

I would only be traumatically embarrassed

Humiliated

And ashamed

My feelings are of unimportance to you

So why would you have to know?

I'm just gonna let it kill me inside

Because you will never be mine

But is that "crazy"?

It couldn't be as crazy as me

'Cause that's impossible

Look how worthless I have become

I've never meant anything to any one

And I'm not gonna start meaning anything

To you

I'm just not ready

To do anything about how I'm feeling

And I never will be

So keep staying away from me

Because I don't matter

People say I'll "meet somebody

That" I "wouldn't have to impress

Who would pursue" me

"Instead of thee other way around"

And though I know they're lying

I still know she's not you

It's only obvious to me

Why else would loving you only hurt?

All I'll ever feel is burned by you

But that's not your fault

It's mine for loving some one

Who doesn't want to be loved by a freak

But I get it

Freaks have to exist, I guess

So I have to exist

And life has to be like this

-

10-23-'20 #2

D. L. Cannon


Submitted: October 26, 2020

© Copyright 2020 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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