A Small Request

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

A Small Request

Would you choke me if I asked?
Put your hand to my throat and carefully squeeze
until it’s just hard enough to breathe
that I pull the air in deep,
until it’s as hard as it should be?

Do it for me,
for the soft edges that will descend
like a glowing neon light
reflected in a pool of water in the rain,
taking away the crisp clarity of cognitive awareness.

My powerful machine needs a hard reset to function optimally.
Take me offline, just momentarily,
so I don’t have to interpret and analyze
every second’s worth of intention and meaning,
I’m just being.

Put your thumb on my heartbeat and remind it that it’s real.
Take me to a place inside where I’m reminded I’m alive,
in a body not just time.

When you show me a feeling I can’t run from
it calms the chaos of constant evasion,
because knowing it’s okay to feel and actually feeling are two different things.

I’m too in control to be an addict
but If I could choose,
I’d choose helplessness as my drug of choice
as it daily plagues me with anxiety
not because I feel I must do
but because there’s so much not to
and only in this way may I be released of my obligations.

With your fingers on my neck I can forget
the list
of daily disappointments and social constructions of responsibility,
the thousand-ton weight of truth that nearly crushes me
and instead I can simply trust that for now
my life is in your hand.

Submitted: October 30, 2020

© Copyright 2020 Erinn C. C. Webb. All rights reserved.

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