Racing Thoughts

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

The struggle with Insomnia and the process of trying to fight it.

RACING THOUGHTS

 

I close my eyes, the darkness envelops and I try not to see.

It's hard to try and close out thoughts, thoughts that really haunt me.

 

It’s still late before the witching hour takes over.

I stare into the back of my eyelids and wonder.

 

I make sheep jump and I imagine black the colour I envision.

I lay there frustrated, concentrating and focus on my breathing.

 

Then the racing thoughts start and keep creeping in.

Have I contacted this or that person to wag our chins?

 

Have I said the right thing?

Have I finished the list and where am I going?

 

What am I doing tomorrow? 

What am I doing with my life?

 

How will I lose this bodyweight? 

How will I find my husband, not my wife?

 

Is it worth going on? Is it time to give in?

What will my family think of me if these thoughts win!

 

Mania is setting in and all I see is the back of my lids.

Anger is brewing as I pump into the bed my fists.

 

It's 6:30 in the morning, I'm losing the will to live and twitch.

It’s hard for me to shut out my mind and turn off that switch.

 

I concentrate on slowing my breathing, counting to ten in and out.

After ten minutes of slowly relaxing my muscles and mind, I need to shout.

 

I need to vent coz I’m not drifting off, I’m not succumbing to dreams and bliss.

I fidget, I turn, I plump the pillows in an effort to make a body to hold that I miss.

 

Insomnia I hate you, my mental health is low and It’s now time to start the new day.

36 to 40 hours awake will help me sleep next time in the night I hope and pray.

 


Submitted: November 01, 2020

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