Life Unbalanced

Reads: 27  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 4

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Just thinking about a friend in a coma, his wife, and the world outside.

 

 

 

A man lies in a hospital bed

fighting for his life

In a coma, unaware

of his scared and grieving wife

who sits by his side

in between work and home

and cries out of sight

when she is alone

Outside their circle

life carries on

day after day

normal stuff going on

But for her 

life has stopped

It completely 

stands still

and it will not move forward

'til he has the will

to wake up and smile

and return to their life

A middle-aged man

with his middle-aged wife

 

 

 


Submitted: November 01, 2020

© Copyright 2020 KatV. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Lucinda Amare

Oh wow, I think you worded this really nicely. It has a certain flow to it and I can picture the wife sitting next to his bed and also going on with life even though she struggles with it.

One TEENY TINY comment if I must. In the first sentence, I'd personally change 'one man' to 'A man' maybe. Most hospital beds are made for just one man so that's why I mention it.

But I liked it a lot :)

Sat, November 14th, 2020 6:48pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Lucinda!. I agree; "A man" works better. When I first started this poem I was thinking about All different lives in the same moment in the same day .... one man laying in bed in a coma....one woman grieving by his side ... one man raking leaves in his back yard ... yadda yadda yadda. But .... I went down a different path and stayed focused on this man and his wife. I will go back and edit that; thank you for pointing it out! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

Sat, November 14th, 2020 1:09pm

A. Rhetters

A very sweet yet sad poem. I wouldn’t describe it as bittersweet, so that explains my word choice there.

A realistic scenario and I could sympathize with the wife. It is nice to hope that her husband will pull through and wake up, but this is not always the case. Sometimes someone has to “pull the plug” as the saying goes.

Keep at it!

Sun, November 15th, 2020 7:02pm

Author
Reply

He came to on his own, had triple bypass surgery, and is home doing well! Amazing the difference a day makes! It will be a wonderful Thanksgiving for them this year! Thank you, again, for reading and commenting!

Sun, November 15th, 2020 12:39pm

Alexandra Lynsen

I don’t know how old this poem is, but just in case, I want to hope and wish an effective recovery and transition back to life to your friend. To you and his wife, stay strong.

Sun, November 22nd, 2020 1:20am

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading and for your well wishes. He woke up, had a triple bypass, and his home recovering. It is going to be a wonderful Thanksgiving for them this year!

Sat, November 21st, 2020 5:37pm

Alexandra Lynsen

That is absolutely wonderful news to hear of his recovery!

Sun, November 22nd, 2020 1:51am

Author
Reply

Yes; it totally was! Thank you again!

Sat, November 21st, 2020 6:10pm

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