Losing you

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic


Losing someone.

This is for the person I may never embrace, snuggle, sniff, or see ever again.

People say loving someone is hard but personally, loving someone whom you’ve lost might be the winner. To some or even most, death is knowing that someone has been brought to a different universe, a place known to have peace and quiet which meant that they will never come back into your world where their presence made you the happiest little pill.

I have never imagined the amount of sorrow and grief a person who has undergone from such hurt of saying goodbye to their loved one without anticipation until one day where I went through that ache myself.

I lost my father, best friend and my first love – papa which is what I have always called him in February 3rd 2019. It just seems like yesterday when I was laying on his beer belly having a quick whiff of his cool yet musky perfume and him reminding me of how loved and appreciated I am. There was never a day that went by where he made me feel unworthy or incapable of achieving my goals and always pushed me harder to reach them.

It is the feeling where you wake up in the morning hoping it would be to the sound of their voice calling you instead of your alarm. It is where you receive thrilling news knowing that it would excite them, but you realize that they are no longer there for you to run to. It is when you get into trouble and you know that they have the best advise to give you but now you have no idea what they would say.

It is the memories that you can hold on to tightly that you wish they could be re-lived. From singing “beautiful girls” by Sean Kingston in the car to dancing to “beat it” by Michael Jackson on our coffee table. From letting me place pink, sparkly bows and braiding the fine and few hairs which were left on your scalp to laughing at the first time I went to dye my hair (which turned out extremely bad). Seeing you before and after school was the highlight of my secondary school days and it gave me pure joy. Being around you was infections and everything about you was – your smile, your laugh, your anger, and sadness.  

Papa, you are probably one of the finest teachers I have ever had because you have taught me values and traits that no one could ever take away from me. You have always been such a respectable man and growing up, you have been my biggest inspiration – the person that I have always wanted to be. I have always looked forward to conversations that could not have been brought up for my age such as my future job, my wedding and many more. You are love, care, happiness, support, pride, and a teddy bear all in one person and I miss you unbearably.

Thank you for blessing me with two incredible older sisters who reflect the traits that you have and a brave and beautiful mother who brings out the best in all of us.

We love and miss you terribly.


Submitted: November 03, 2020

© Copyright 2020 rashleen. All rights reserved.

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