Oh Yes, My Name Is Alice

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


Oh Yes, My Name Is Alice

 

“Well you know, like Alice yes, she couldn’t be grown up could she? She has to be a little girl like me…

 I could be Alice; I wouldn’t like… fall in love with anyone, or anything like that; I love lots of people sure, but well… I’m not in love with them, that just makes things complicated…

 It would just be an adventure; I wouldn’t need to discuss it with anyone; there would be no one to discuss it with; just me in Wonderland…

 Adults couldn’t go to Wonderland could they?...

 When I was really little, I didn’t think about it, I was just me, a little girl…

 I loved to dress up; I could be anyone I wanted to be, or anything; a fairy, or a mermaid, or a famous ballerina; I had a tutu; I could have been a famous ballerina; I was just me, a little girl, that is all…

 No one asked me questions then; just a little girl, that is all…

 Everyone thought I was pretty; they told me so and… well adorable… adorable is what they said ‘oh isn’t she adorable’ I was just me, nothing special I think; just a little girl, or a fairy, or a mermaid… ‘oh she will make the perfect ballerina’ they said; I would dance in my tutu, it was pink; I wasn’t really a ballerina; just me pretending to be; you can do that while you are still little, not when you’re grown up…

 I like Alice, I like what happens to her, where she goes; it’s not actually real, she is just dreaming, at least I think she is, it doesn’t matter, she is Alice, so it doesn’t matter…

 I remember when I first saw the white rabbit, it ran past me ‘that was the white rabbit’ I said; no one else saw him, just me, but he did run past, because I saw him, do you see?...

 He ran down the rabbit hole ‘I wish I was Alice’ I thought ‘then I could follow him down the rabbit hole’ then do you know, I was Alice; no one knew I had gone, they didn’t say ‘where have you been?’ it was as if I hadn’t gone anywhere at all, but I had, I followed the white rabbit, that is because I was little and could be Alice, the others couldn’t, they were too grown up…

 If I grow up, I won’t be able to be Alice anymore will I? That is a shame I think, don’t you? Though you have grown up, so I guess you don’t understand anymore do you? that is a shame I think…

 I liked being pretty when I was still very little; it didn;t mean anything then, just I was pretty, that is all; now it seems different ‘isn’t she growing up fast’ they say ‘she will break a few hearts’ I know what they mean; I’m not just pretty anymore, I know what they mean…

 But Alice doesn’t grow up does she? she stays just pretty; no ‘growing up fast’ no ‘breaking hearts’ just pretty, that is all…

 They say ‘you shouldn’t really still be doing that, you are a young lady now’ I’m not, I’m not, I can still be Alice; I still see the white rabbit going down the rabbit hole; I still follow him; you think that is silly I bet, don’t you?...

 Oh yes you are right, it was a grown up that wrote Alice; he wrote it for a little girl I think; he knew she would be able to see the white rabbit; but maybe he could as well; maybe some grown ups… well… don’t grow up! I don’t know, it’s confusing don’t you think?...

 My mummy and daddy don’t see the white rabbit anymore; they don’t see him go down the rabbit hole; they are grown up ‘don’t be silly Alice’ they say… oh yes, my name is Alice!...

 I would say ‘but you saw the white rabbit when you were still a little girl, didn’t you mummy? She would smile, daddy wouldn’t; maybe mummy understands still and daddy doesn’t; maybe she still sees the white rabbit, but pretends not to; daddy would think her silly I should think; maybe they would argue…

 I remember when we went on a picnic; I like picnics, don’t you? I was still very little then; I wore a yellow dress, it had daisies on it; daddy called me his little daisy; I remember him saying that…

 It was by a river, the picnic; I didn’t see the white rabbit, I didn’t know him then; there were ducks though; there was a mummy duck and she had a lot of babies; the babies were yellow and fluffy and so tiny; I watched them following their mummy, all in a line, swimming along the river; the mummy duck kept looking back to check all her babies were still there; she loved her babies, don’t you think? I didn’t see the daddy duck; I wondered where he was…

 We had a big cake, it had jam inside; I spilt some of the jam on my yellow dress with daisies on it ‘oh Alice be careful’ mummy said ‘don’t worry sweetheart’ daddy said ; he called me that sometimes, but not always; he wiped the jam off my yellow dress with daisies on it; the jam had landed on the daisies and left a mark; he just smiled and kissed me, I think because I looked sad and worried about my yellow dress with daisies on it; I looked at mummy, she smiled; but she looked sad as well; was it my fault, did she look sad because of me…

 I shouted ‘look mummy and daddy’ the mummy duck was climbing out of the river and her babies were following; they were all tumbling over each other to catch up with their mummy; I started giggling and mummy looked happy again; daddy put his arm around me; mummy scattered some cake on the grass and the mummy duck came right up and started pecking at it and then her babies joined in; they liked the cake and we had such fun watching them…

 It was a fun picnic, that is why I remember it; I just wish I hadn’t spilt jam on my yellow dress with daisies on it…

 No, I don’t have a boyfriend, why do you ask that? I suppose you think ‘I’m growing up fast’ and that I will ‘break a few hearts’ I know what you mean; I have mummy and daddy and Jessie the cat…

 We’ve had Jessie for a long time; she was a kitten when we got her and so cute and fluffy and she had such big eyes; daddy put her in my arms, I was only little, a bit like Jessie; I giggled, but was a little scared; mummy said ‘isn’t she cute Alice, would you like to take her home?’ I said I would and I was so excited and daddy asked what I was going to name her and I said Jessie; that is a pretty name, don’t you think?...

 Do I think it would be wrong to have a boyfriend, I don’t know, I don’t want one; grown ups have boyfriends and girlfriends and get married, but sometimes they don’t stay together and they argue and probably don’t love each other anymore; I think it’s a shame when that happens; I don’t want a boyfriend, grown ups have those; I have mummy and daddy and Jessie…

 Would I like to be grown up and get married; but I couldn’t still be Alice then could I? maybe I wouldn’t see the white rabbit anymore; that would be a shame I think; I guess everyone has to be grown up at sometime, I don’t like to think about that too much…

 Daddy still calls me sweetheart sometimes and puts his arm around me, especially if I feel sad about something ‘there there sweetheart’ he says and gives me a cuddle; it feels nice and safe and then I feel better; mummy does as well sometimes, especially when daddy isn’t there; sometimes mummy looks sad and that makes me feel sad; I wonder if it’s my fault sometimes; daddy doesn’t usually look sad, he sometimes looks angry, but then he goes out ‘I will see you later sweetheart’ he says and gives me a kiss…

 Once we went to a circus, did I tell you about that? Well it was great fun; I was still quite little, but I remember the circus ‘how do you fancy going to the circus?’ asked mummy ‘oh yes please’ I said; I had heard about the circus and seen the colourful posters, with a picture of a fierce looking lion on them; I asked if the fierce looking lion would be there and mummy said she should think so and I think I looked worried and daddy asked what was wrong and I said; but what if he eats me all up’ they both laughed and daddy put his arm around me and said I wouldn’t be eaten by the lion and I smiled I think and mummy kissed me and said ‘now why would he want to eat such a pretty little girl?’ I hadn’t thought of that; I was probably being silly, thinking the fierce looking lion would eat me all up…

 Well I didn’t get eaten up by the fierce looking lion, though he was rather fierce looking and roared very loudly; I clung to daddy when he did that; the clowns were my favourite I think, they were funny and pretended to have buckets of water, but really it was just confetti; I remember the coloured confetti… 

 Yes I did do lots of fun things with mummy and daddy when I was little; they loved me lots don’t you think?...

 I remember mummy showing me how to make a daisy chain when I was little; daddy watched, but of course he didn’t join in, making a daisy chain is what girls do I think; you know Alice was going to make a daisy chain, just before the white rabbit went past, though she was wondering if it would be worth the effort; I think she would have made a daisy if the white rabbit hadn’t gone past, don’t you? daisy chains are pretty…

 Also did you know Alice has a cat like I do? hers is called Dinah, mine is called Jessie; oh and Alice meets the cheshire cat doesn’t she; he is a very strange cat, but then he lives in Wonderland, where everyone is a little strange…

 Yes, maybe I would still be like Alice if I was grown up and maybe even still see the white rabbit, but if I was grown up and wasn’t like Alice and couldn’t see the white rabbit.. well that would be a shame wouldn’t it…

 You see, Alice doesn’t grow up does she and she has such fun; I know she is not always in Wonderland, but I’m sure she still has fun all the time... 

 I think Dinah had kittens and they were little scamps; I hope Jessie has kittens, but I don’t think she can have them, which is a shame I think…

 Alice has other adventures you know; she steps through the looking glass and has such an adventure there; I would like to do that; we have a looking glass at home and I look at the room inside, where everything is the wrong way round, just like Alice does; I’ve not stepped through it through, but sometimes I imagine I do and then I look back through to the real room, which of course is just the same, only that one is all the wrong way round…

 Yes I suppose it would be strange if nobody ever grew up, but then everyone would be able to see the white rabbit and it wouldn’t be all complicated like it is in the grown up World…

 yes mummy and daddy are grown up and I love them just as much as can be and if they were not grown up and hadn’t got married, I wouldn’t have been born and maybe Alice wouldn’t exist if there was no grown ups, but… well I don’t know,you see how complicated it all gets…

 Oh did I tell you about the day I started school? My very first day; I was very little then and very scared ‘but why can’t I just at home with mummy and daddy’ I thought; I had a very smart little school dress, it was blue, I think it’s called gingham and new black shoes that were shiny and had a buckle and white socks that had frills at the top and so pretty I thought; I think my hair was tied in bunches and mummy said how sweet I looked; I was rather proud of my new school outfit, but it didn’t stop me being scared of my first day; daddy was there, he went to work late that day ‘I wouldn’t miss my little girl’s first day at school’ he said; I was glad he was there; he kept giving me cuddles and kisses, I liked that, but it made me want to stay home more; but when I got to school, I made new friends and it was fun; the teacher was really nice; mummy met me after school, but daddy didn’t because he was at work; I remember my first day at school…

 Yes I do still quite like school, but I’m in a bigger school now, I don’t like it as much as my first school; some of the girls think they are so grown up and they say things sometimes that I don’t really like; some of the girls at school have boyfriends, but I don’t; some of the boys say I’m pretty and ask to be my boyfriend… I always say no…

 

The End

 

 

 

 


Submitted: November 07, 2020

© Copyright 2020 H W Lustre. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Joe Stuart

I'm not sure what made me look at this story, HW, but once I started reading it, I couldn't stop. The grammar is awful but it had to be. You made it sound in my mind exactly how a little girl might prattle on about life as she saw it. I was never a little girl but I remember making daisy chains. I was wondering just the other day whether kids still do that.
This is one of the most unusual stories that I have read. A refreshing change from the usual genres. Thank you for an enjoyable read. Incidentally, I had a look at your profile and see that you are male. That makes the story even more remarkable. I don't think I could have taken on the persona of a little girl anywhere near as well as you did. Well done.

Sat, November 7th, 2020 10:18pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment Joe. The grammar is quite shocking, but as you note, it was done deliberately. Children probably do still make daisy chains, though virtually, on a computer!! My love of Alice In Wonderland and the innocence and beauty of children, I think, is where this story came from. Once finished, I did rather like this little story and am very pleased that you did also, so thanks again.

Sun, November 8th, 2020 8:40am

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