Corona and Me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is a humourus look at Gordon Buchanon's documentary series, using a similar title ending... and me. Hope you enjoy it. Ha!

By Gordon Buchanon

Most know me from my wildlife documentaries, where I live with wild animals within the wilds of the outdoors.  This time I have recorded my time living with Corona. Showing you the raw reality, never before seen, with the Corona.  My 2 week journey will shock most viewers and bring to light the complexities and troubles around the Corona virus.

After a long trip to NY city in America; The epicentre of the 'Great Infection'.  I needed a rest, as the flight was a troubling experience.  Seating was cramped, and the plane was packed like Kippers.  A suddln sneeze would make you jump out of your skin.  It was absolutely terrifying.  I have been awake for 24 hrs and well stressed out.  Trying to keep my mental faculties, I have drank 2 pots of coffee, and dare not use the public toilets.  Hand sanitizer is limited here, so roughing it,  by using my own overly abundant wee to cleanse my hands periodically.

I finally make it to where the Corona thrives... A NYC hospital.  Here, there are many many dangers.  Everywhere you turn is a pitfall waiting to happen. It should be very easy to find the Corona. Just have to be careful as they go about camouflaged in PPE, virtually undetected.  I was able to find the Corona through the aboriginal people of the hospital.  They seemed unwilling to share their knowledge, as I was an outsider, uninitiated by their rituals.

I had to learn their ways and become one of them.  I had to eat their food, wash as they do, wear their clothing, and learn their customs.  All this, before I was accepted.  After thd day I was well knackered, and slept in a self made cocoon of plastic rubbish bin liners.

The next day, I woke finding my self surrounded by Corona.  One of them was a scout, who did not want to be identified.  He kept silent mostly, while the mass of Corona stayed hidden, much like the tribe in the Amazon, that I had stayed with, some time ago.  I followed them to the basement within the confines of the HVAC system.  It was cramped and a bit scarry.

From there I was met by the tribal chief of the Corona.  He told me, first thing, that they are called SARS-COVID19, definitely not Corona.  He was furious that Americans are misinformed about facts and details.  Because I am a reporter for the BBC, they have given me privlage to know all about them.

Due to the complexity of using their formal name, I will continue to use commercialized name, Corona, for now on. I promised the chief the BBC will post a disclaimer an notice of your native name. Also will pay for compensation for any undo defamation.

It was one of the most deeply learning experiences of my life.  Not knowing if I was truly safe, no matter how much care was done.  I heard jesting about, and questioned.  Their chief told me about the yard stick I was using to measure distance.  It was too small, and the wee Coronas, we're amused by my lack of knowing proper distance.  6 foot is not going to cut it.  Try 22 feet, in still dank air. Then the evil laughter surrounded me.  Reminiscent of being with hyenas of the Africa.  They seemed chuffed at the lack of proper information. I was amusing them into hysterical laughter.  As if they were learning more about us, in a sinister plot.

I wanted to know from the beginings of their journey to settle in America, and their ways after settling.  It was a interesting story, yet I felt there was more to it than I was led to believe. As the week progressed, I learned more of the story than what was told.

While under their hospitality I, had to fit in. It was very difficult as all they talked about was death and infections... Well mostly.  Once they got use to me, not being a threat. I was told to keep any disinfectant away, in promise I was protected within their group.  I was told once out of the group, I am on my own. The chief made it clear, the Corona is an independent opportunist community.  They don't do things without something in return.  It's a waste of energy on their part. 

He would have explained more, but a Corona interupted, our conversation.

They found Kenny!  Suddenly erupted from the crowed. The chief was happy, from his reaction.  My boy!  He exclamed.  Suddenly their words explained, that Kenny is in a bad way.  He was locked in a university trial office.  The chief was told that Kenny's spikes are all matted up, and he will never be the same, and he may die.  Suddenly I felt bad for the Corona.  After getting to know them at their level.  It was a bit of a dark moment. They left me over night, as they had more important matters to attend.

The next day they came to a meeting. I was invited, only by the chance that I had been placed in the largest area I could fit comfortably in. Which was their meeting place.  They were in contact with Cuomo, and wanted more money.  They told him if he does not comply his Brother and family will soon have visitors stop by, to make sure they are okay.  It was odd, they had a hot line to the Governor.  I dare not ask, so I am a guest, after all.  After the call to Cuomo, I felt I needed to ask, just one wee question... so why the deal with Cuomo? I got a look, that I felt go through me.  The chief told me it's just a money deal, we protect his family in return.  After all there are other fractions going on, doing their own dealings.  The NAACP is making a deal for BLM and Woke with us for the early start of summer. It all has to be done pronto.  Right now I must deploy our Chinese test kit and PPE squads to California, their late as it is, April is coming!I tell him, "We are in April"  it was told April is his daughter.  She flew in from the UK.  It was nearly impossible to get to America from China.  THough the UK was our only way, which has its delays.

Why are you delivering test kits and PPE, doesn't it defeat your perpose?  More laughter from the Corona around me.  The chief  told me infecting through test kits and PPE, is their purpose.  The best way to infect is to lay low on their own protection.  They never know what's coming.  It doesn't work as well as a good sneeze, but it's 50% effective.  Don't blame me for infections, the Democrats are the masterminds here.  We are just doing our jobs. Just some of them Democrats need reminded to pay up after services rendered.  We did not come all the way from Italy, as a spring chicken, you know.

I wasn't too keen on staying much longer, after seeing more and more troubles a head.  While noticing NYC was a hot spot beyond just the Corona.
So I cut my stay a week short, and said my fair wells to my new family of sorts. After a week of discovering what Corona is, in their natural environment.  I come to learn that Corona, like us humans.They are just working hard to make a living.  When down and out, moving country to country trying to find a decent place to call home.  A modern gypsy of sorts.  Some day when things for them are much simpler, I may return to visit and enjoy exchanging stories.
 
 


Submitted: November 08, 2020

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