Here's to more years of staying

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

There was a young adult who gets into a relationship she wasn't sure about. 2020 came and suddenly all the tables turned around.

12:10am in the morning, I was here sitting on my single bed looking through the glass walls watching how busy the city is. All these busy streets, city lights and fake feelings are clinging upon me. All I hear is my keyobard, how soothing. How many years can I stand this? when will I ever outwit myself and tell myself that it's time to stop. A full stop, not a pause, yet a full stop. When will I ever realize that this is too toxic. When will I ever decide that I could barely stand on my own. That this life would be a lot more difficult without any companion. The universe is quiet, more room for thoughts. How can someone be so ambitious to get noticed and complimented everyday? How can someone cling into someone for several years when she knows something is not right? How can someone be so happy and gets ignored by the next minute? How can I ever deserve all these men. These men who pushed me into my limits, men who made me cry infront of my friends, men who made me feel unwanted, men who basically takes advantage of my weaknesses. I want to grow more and the problem is that I don't know how to get out of this box, this cycle, this habit, all these conversations. How can I ever break these chains if in the first place I don't know how my life could turn into without my go to person. How can I ever get along with my friends yet ending up talking to my glass walls and these high ceiling. Silly long term relationship, first they try to cut you off from all your friends and ending you up thinking how unlucky you are coming down to a realization that the thing left was yourself locked up in your own silly world without the one who changed you. Crazy how I have my 3 years partner yet I don't feel safe, all these secrets hidden on my own temple, not safe to share, not safe to unlock because I'm a timebomb that in any moment bursts and destructs massively. help me.


Submitted: November 13, 2020

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