Hearing Voices After EVP

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

Journal

November Journal :

 

November 10, 2020

 7:15 PM

 

 Well, I haven’t experienced any night attacks so far this week like I did last week. There was certainly been some activity at night, there always is, but it wasn’t escalated to the degree that I consider an outright attack. I remembered to keep some sleep-aid on hand, so maybe that’s a factor. I guess I can elaborate further on how I classify these night attacks. As I said, practically every night there is some level of activity taking place. As soon as I get into bed, usually just within a few brief moments I’ll start feeling physical sensations. Often, it’s that familiar vibration sensation. I usually feel it start up down around my feet and then move up my body. For some reason, it usually moves up the right side of my body, at least this has been the case recently. I doubt that there is much significance to this. The vibration sensation usually moves up the right side of my body until it reaches my upper body, and then it seems to often try to get as close to my right ear as possible. Maybe there is something significant there? Perhaps this entity attachment (the one that calls herself Crystal) prefers to speak into my right ear.

 

  Since this situation began for me back in 2015, I’ve heard these voices in all different ways and manners. Sometimes they do get in very close and speak directly into one of my ears. I’m sure that I’ve heard voices speaking in both my left and my right years on occasion. But, just looking back here and reflecting for a moment, I would say that when this has occurred, the voice most often was speaking into my right ear. So, maybe they do have a preference. Though, as I stated, I’ve heard these voices in a number of different ways.

 

  Sometimes I’ve heard them as if they’re coming from a short distance, such as from across the room. In these instances, they don’t seem to be directing their chatter towards one of my ears specifically. It’s strange, but I’ve had a few instances where it seems like a very tiny, very tiny voice was right there at my earlobe and speaking directly down into my ear canal. I just experienced this a couple of weeks ago. I would say that it’s happened maybe five or six times in the past year.

 

  At first, I didn’t realize that it was a voice speaking. It seemed to me more like a high pitch ringing. I have experienced ringing in the ears on occasion, since the Spring of 2015. It seems to accompany the voices at times. Sometimes this ringing was very intense, sometimes it was a bit milder. It would usually only last for a few moments. Back in the beginning, I would say that it was something that I was experiencing at least a few times a day. I knew there was a connection between the voices in this ringing in my ears, but I didn’t know what t was exactly. Then this occasional ringing in the ears (or in one ear) seemed to stop for quite a long time. I would say maybe even a year or more. However, then I started to experience it again on occasion, and I have ever since.

 

  A little while back, I began having these incidents where I would wake up in the middle the night and I would just hear this high pitch sound. It would seem to be almost inside one of my ears, usually my right ear. I suspected that this had something to do with Crystal or one of these other entities that still seem to stop by every now and again. It’s hard to describe, but there was just something different about how it sounded in comparison to the ringing in my ears that I’ve been experiencing on and off since 2015. It was different, but I did not pick up on the fact that it was a voice until maybe the third or fourth incident. When is these strange incidents occurred, it was usually late at night, so my environment was generally quiet.

 

As I was in bed hearing this high-pitched sound in this otherwise quiet environment, I began to notice that it was not any kind of ringing at all, it was a voice speaking. It seemed like there was a tiny little voice speaking right down the ear canal of my right ear. It was only during this last incident of this (a few weeks ago) that I recognized it as being Crystal‘s voice. It was as if she shrunk down to a very tiny size and got right there up to my right ear and was speaking down my ear canal. It was very strange and surreal to be experiencing in the middle of the night, but then again this whole entire situation has been full of those kinds of things.

 

 The whole incident seemed kind of strange for a number of reasons, but one thing that really stood out for me was hearing Crystal’s voice and how small it sounded. Where I am at currently in my situation, is that I am primarily hearing this one voice (Crystal’s) on a day-to-day basis. Crystal has been one of the main voices (in fact I would say the main voice) throughout my whole situation. She has been the most intrusive at times, and the most tormenting and sadistic of all the other voices that I’ve heard.

 

I first heard her voice on my EVP recordings in February 2015. Even then, her voice seem to stand out. She seemed to want me to notice her and I certainly did. When I began hearing some of these voices outside of the recordings and then when they outright attacked me in April of 2015, Crystal‘s voice was most often present. However, she was by no means the only voice that I was hearing. There were many other voices present on a regular basis back in those days. Yet, here in 2020, it’s really just her voice that remains from day to day. I will still occasionally hear another voice, a voice that doesn’t sound like Crystal at all (for example a male voice) yet these other voices don’t seem to stick around like they once did. It is only Crystal‘s voice that is still here every day. I still don’t know who or what she is or where she comes from, but she’s the last one that I consider attached to my life.

 

Since the early days, I have been hearing her voice,  but also there has been a very pronounced physical presence as well. I’m not just hearing a voice, I’m hearing a voice and also feeling its presence. I can experience these bodily sensations at any time. They usually occur when I’m either lying down or sitting down, in other words when I’m stationary. Throughout my entire situation, these physical sensations have always been most pronounced at night, during that time between when I first get into bed and when I fall asleep. Just as I mentioned that I have heard these voices in a number of different ways, I have also experienced these bodily sensations in a number of different ways. Sometimes it’s the familiar vibration sensation. Sometimes it’s the feeling of something clinging to me. Sometimes it’s the feeling of something crawling around on me. Sometimes the physical presence feels small, sometimes it feels larger. It almost always feels smaller than myself, but it can range from feeling like something the size of a pea, to something that’s two, perhaps three feet in length.

 

Just based on my experiences and my observations, it seems like Crystal can materialize to a greater or less or degree when she wishes. Sometimes, when it’s to a greater degree, I suspect that she’s doing this to try and make me nervous or frighten me even. Yet, with this incident that I had a few weeks ago (hearing this tiny voice as if it was speaking right down my ear canal) she seemed to shrink in size and very considerably so. That’s what was so strange about it. I have had a number of incidents just this past year where it seemed like Crystal had materialized to a degree that I hadn’t seen before. These incidents definitely got my attention and more often than not left me with quite an unsettling feeling. I’ve mentioned it before in my writing, that feeling of being slapped in the face part with the reality of this situation…. that it is real and is actually happening.

 

 Yet this incident that occurred a few weeks ago, it was the reverse of this in a way. It was as if Crystal shrunk down into a tiny form and spoke to me in a tiny voice. In its own way, this experience left me with that same unsettling feeling because it was so surreal. To me, it’s another example that Crystal can change things up quite a bit still,  she can still throw something unexpected my way and surprise me on occasion. She’s very skillful at creating a theatrical or dramatic affect at times.

 

There is much about the situation that becomes quite routine from one day to another, but things still happen that surprise me every now and again. I believe that as far as crystals motives go, she is deliberately trying to slap me in the face hard with that sense that she is real and that this is really happening.

 

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November 11, 2020

 

6:15 PM

 

  Last night, when I was making my journal entry about a specific way that I had heard Crystal’s voice recently, and then I went on to talk about how I have experienced ringing in the years on occasion going back to the early days of attachment situation, as I was talking about the ringing in the ears, I started to hear ringing in my right ear. It didn’t last long, just a few moments as is usually the case. I suspect that Crystal was the cause. It gave me the impression that she could cause me to hear this ringing whenever she wants. Perhaps this is the case ….I don’t know. As I mentioned yesterday, the ringing in the ears was something that seemed to accompany the voices during the worst days back in the Spring of 2015, but then it seem to go away for a long time, at least for over a year as far as I remember. Then it came back. Now it’s something that I experience from time to time. I might hear it a few times a week, and then maybe not hear it again for two weeks or more.  I would say that I don’t even experience it on a weekly basis anymore. Though, that could change at any time.

 

 In some of the research and reading that I’ve done since this whole situation began for me, I have heard and seen mentioned a connection between ringing in the ears and clairaudience. This ringing in the ears has always been something of a mystery to me. As I said, yesterday when I heard it while I was making my journal entry, it seemed very deliberate. It seemed more than just coincidence that I started hearing it right then as I was discussing this very topic.

 

  There it is….it just started right this moment in my left ear, just now as I’m writing this. So, once again I get the impression that Crystal can cause this ringing whenever she wants. This is something that I’ve wondered about in the past. I wasn’t sure if it was something more like a side effect of being in close proximity to these entities (or something along those lines). By this I mean I wasn’t sure if it was something that they were causing me to hear intentionally as another form of disruption and harassment, or if it was simply some kind of effect of being in close proximity to these mysterious beings.

 

  Did hearing this ringing signify the presence of these entities?  Perhaps, though most of the time when I’m hearing Crystal’s voice I’m not hearing the ringing as well, it’s just occasionally that I’m hearing the two together. So, I just don’t know, but just now and last night, I’m given the impression that Crystal can cause this ringing quickly and deliberately.

 

  I say Crystal, because hers is mainly the voice that I’ve been hearing recently. However, this afternoon I did hear another voice, another voice that did not sound like Crystal at all and right after I heard this other voice, I heard Crystal say “you see there are still others around”.

 

  The incident occurred this afternoon while I was at work. I went into the bathroom in the building where I work and as I have mentioned in previous journal writings the bathrooms where I work have ceiling fans wired to the light switch. So, as soon as you turn on the light the bathroom is filled with this rather loud steady background noise. The fact that it’s a small space contributes to this I believe. The fact that it’s a small space contributes to this I believe.

  So I went in there this afternoon and I was hearing a voice or voices  (it’s hard to gauge exact numbers sometimes). Sometimes the particular background noise I’m in environment might affect the way that Crystal’s voice sounds to me to a degree. So I was in there and out of the blue this strong powerful voice just jumps out over the fan noise. This voice did not sound like Crystal at all. It was a deeper voice, I would say it sounded more like a male voice, but it didn’t exactly sound all that clear either (that’s just my own opinion there). It seemed to be a voice that was formed out of the fan noise itself to a degree. I guess that’s the best way I can describe it.

 

It only spoke a few words, but immediately I thought hey that doesn’t sound like Crystal and a brief second later I heard Crystal‘s voice quite clearly say something along the lines of “see I told you” or “yes there are still others around”. It might seem strange to some that I am not recalling what Crystal said here word for word with precision, after all… this incident only happened a few hours ago. But, in just the past few hours since this incident occurred, I have heard Crystal’s voice say many other things. Also, I want to stress that I am generally not trying to mentally process what I’m hearing her say. Ideally, I’m deflecting it or blocking it out……ignoring it outright.You have to remember that her voice is always there chattering away, so there’s just a pile of stuff coming at me ….statements, single words…fragments of phrases, and it just piles on piles on. So, I don’t think I could remember it all with absolute precision even if I wanted to, and I do not want to.

 

  This is actually an ability that I’ve gotten better at implementing over the years. It’s hard to describe, but in essence, it’s a situation where if I hear Crystal speaking, what she says goes into my ears, through my mind and falls right back out into oblivion. In other words, it doesn’t stick. For example, last night when I got into bed, I can assure you I did not fall asleep right away. I can assure you that at the very least, it took a good 20 to 30 minutes for me to fall asleep, perhaps longer. But ,no less than 20 or 30 minutes. During that 20 to 30 minutes that I was in bed waiting to fall asleep, I was hearing Crystal’s voice. She was chattering away ceaselessly. One minute her voice may have sounded very close to me, the next minute it might have sounded like it was speaking from across the room, and then the next minute it might’ve even sounded like it was coming from another room entirely. Her voice may have sounded a bit louder or clearer one minute and a bit fainter and less discernible the next. Yet, I can assure you she was chattering away the whole time. However, if you asked me to repeat what I heard Crystal saying during those 20 to 30 minutes, well there wouldn’t be much I could tell you about that, because to be honest I don’t really remember.

 

  On most nights, there’s just so much chatter coming at me there’s no way I could retain it all in my brain, and as I said…. I don’t want to. It is more often the case that I try and just let it pass right through me. This is not to say that I never remember any of it. My journal writings are often full of my commentary regarding something that I heard Crystal say. Sometimes something she says does have an impact on me, so then I usually remember it or retain it in my memory for a time at least. Sometimes, I just remember the essence of what she was saying, but I couldn’t recite much of it word for word.

 

  For example, one night she just might simply be hurling insults at me where another night she might be telling elaborate stories, such as talking about other dimensions and astral worlds and such. Sometimes, she’ll say something disturbing….almost conspiratorial in nature almost, such as entities like her dominate the entire planet and control things in secret. I know better by now than to believe anything she says at face value, so I take it all with a grain of salt. However, sometimes she’ll say something, especially something unsettling like this, and it just gets stuck in my mind for a little while. That’s probably her goal after all.

 

Regarding the events of today, I just want to add, that even though I heard another voice this afternoon that was distinctly not Crystal’s, I do not necessarily regard this as a sign that there are still more of these entities lingering around on a day to day basis. These are all just appearances in a sense…. voices that come at me quickly, whispers in the silence, bits and pieces of statements coming at me through some kind of background noise. It all happens very quickly sometimes and these appearances can be obscured and confusing. I don’t even know for sure if Crystal‘s voice is the real voice of this entity, this other presence that has attached itself to my life since I was experimenting with EVP recording in 2015. Perhaps Crystal is just a creation, an appearance herself. Perhaps there is another behind the mask so to speak. I can keep speculating without end I suppose. There’s plenty to speculate about, but little in the way of solid answers.

 

 

 

November 12, 2020

 

 6:45 PM

 

 I had a strange incident last night, but to be honest it’s something that’s been becoming a more frequent occurrence this year. I went to bed last night a little bit past 11 o’clock.  I took a dose of sleep-aid before going to bed, as I most often do. When I got into bed, I was lying on my side. I was hearing Crystal’s voice to a degree, but it wasn’t that strong just then. I do not recall feeling any physical sensations at first….which is unusual. Usually, I start feeling something almost right after I get into bed. But, for some reason the physical sensations just weren’t there last night, at least at first. So there I was, lying on my side… drifting off towards sleep. For whatever reason, I turned over and was lying on my back. It was then that I felt something.

 

All of a sudden I felt a presence, a distinct presence land on my stomach. Then I felt it moving around a little bit and while I was feeling this presence, I was hearing Crystal‘s voice speaking to me. This was no small presence or sensation either, it had some size and some weight to it, and I am pretty sure that I was even feeling these little feet, moving around on me. This presence was quite materialized and this is something that’s been occurring more this year I would say, than in any other year …with the only possible exception being the Spring of 2015, when my situation was just beginning and was at its worse.

 

As I stated before in my journals, there’s usually always some degree of hearing voices and experiencing physical or bodily sensations at night while I’m in bed trying to fall asleep. Some nights these intrusions are more intense and stronger, sometimes they’re weaker. But, there’s almost always something, some activity with these things occurring. The only time I ever seem to completely escape it is if I’m so tired when I go to bed that I fall asleep almost instantly. This happens sometimes during the summer when my work is very busy. Yet, aside from those infrequent occasions, the voices or voice (i.e. Crystal’s voice) and the physical sensations are always present to one degree or another. I just don’t know what’s been going on this year, but I’ve been having these incidents where the sensations have been taking on more of a distinct form.

 

  One of the most common bodily sensations that I’ve experienced since my attachment situation began in 2015 has been this strange vibration sensation. I’ve discussed this particular sensation in great detail in my journals. It is basically the feeling of something on my body or occupying the same space as a part of my body and I’m feeling it vibrating. It usually doesn’t feel like I am vibrating, or that the vibration feeling is coming from inside me.  It feels like there is something external on me or occupying the same space as me and I’m perceiving it vibrating. This vibration sensation can vary at times. Sometimes it feels rather small, maybe about the size of a baseball, other times it feels larger, something like the size of a basketball. Every once in a while, it’ll seem to engulf half of my body. However, there usually isn’t much of a form to it, as in I feel this external presence that is vibrating, but I’m not perceiving any distinct features about it. For example, I’m not perceiving any kind of body parts or limbs or arms or legs or what have you. I simply feel a presence there.

 

The incident that occurred last night, and other recent incidents like it, is different in that I can perceive some distinct features of this mysterious presence. Last night, I think I was definitely perceiving some feet, or something like it, some kind of body part there. It’s hard to actually describe, because the presence in itself wasn’t exactly one that was recognizable to me. I mean, I have felt the same thing a few times this year, but it still seems quite alien to me. I can’t really say that it absolutely feels like this or that.

 

  When I was growing up, my family had two cats and they lived for quite a while. Sometimes one of these cats would come into my room at night and jump up on my bed and sometimes it would jump up on my stomach or chest. This would often wake me up if I had been asleep at the time. When this occurred, I knew almost instantly that this was one of my cats. I recognized the presence that I was feeling, the features of this presence were familiar to me. If I were lying in bed and a dog jumped up onto my chest, I would probably again almost instantly recognize it as being a dog, because I could recognize its features. I can’t say this about what I experienced last night and on those other occasions this year. This presence that I felt last night didn’t exactly feel like a cat or a dog. Though, I would say that it would be closer to a cat than a dog. The presence had a weigh more similar to a cat though, a bit less I would say, and this presence seemed very nimble like a cat.

 

  It is my own belief that this presence was Crystal, or the entity that calls herself Crystal, because I was hearing her voice the whole time that this was occurring, and as far as I remember, I was just hearing her voice. At one point while this was taking place, I thought to myself “what are you doing?”…. meaning what is this?, what are you doing Crystal? I remember her saying “I just want to take a little more energy”. Is that what she was doing, taking energy from me? I can’t say, but I certainly don’t rule it out. I have often said in my journals that these physical sensations often give me the impression that there is in fact some kind of leeching taking place here. So, I don’t rule that out at all.

 

  What this more materialized presence did do was prevent me from falling asleep for a time. It had me tossing and turning for a little while. I would go back lying on my side, then I would turn back and lay on my back and as soon as I did, I would feel the presence almost right away. No matter what else Crystal’s motives were, she succeeded in messing with my sleep there for a little bit, but only for a little bit. As I write this, I just remembered that I used up the last of my sleep-aid last night. I was just pondering there for a moment if I should go out and get some more. It’s raining pretty heavily right now. But, given the fact that I experience what I did last night I’d say it’s probably a good idea if I go out and pick them up. If I do not, I’m probably more likely to have a similar experience tonight.

 

 

 

 

November 14, 2020

 

 5:45 PM

 

  I just want to talk about something that occurred this week. This is not about Crystal directly per se, but rather a brief interaction that I had with somebody on the internet. A few days ago, I was browsing around on the Internet a little bit in the evening. I was on a forum pertaining to spiritual and paranormal topics. I came across a post where an individual described how he had been communicating with what he believed to be spirits. Given the nature of this forum, this was nothing out of the ordinary really. What did catch my attention about it was that this individual listed several different ways that he was going about conducting this communication. Just off the top of my head, I remember that he mentioned using a Spirit Box, a Ouija Board or Automatic Writing or both. There was a few different methods that he listed there.

 

  This individual stated that he was able to communicate with these spirits whenever he wanted.  All that he had to do was seek to communicate by one of these means and he was able to establish communication quite easily. I believe this is very possible. I know that back when I was communicating with a group of beings (I’ll just leave it at that for now) by means of doing EVP sessions, it reached a point where yes, I was hearing voices on my recordings and usually the same voices (or voices that were becoming familiar to me) anytime that I did a session.

 

  It was not like this from the start. I went a few weeks where I was doing recording sessions and not hearing anything when I went back and listened to them. Given all that has happened since then (by this I mean the attachment situation that developed out of all of this) I have often thought about those few weeks there in the beginning when I heard nothing at all. I’ve often wondered if that time wasn’t some kind of grace period where I was given an opportunity to give up on trying to communicate with the beyond, before anything happened that may seriously impact my life.

 

If I had given up on recording for EVP after one week, that would’ve been that. I would either think that there was nothing to the whole thing, or that I simply wasn’t able to capture any kind of evidence. I would’ve given up the whole endeavor most likely, and went on with my life and my life would certainly have played out differently than it has over the course of the past five years.

 

  To be honest, I’d imagine that I’d probably be doing many of the same things, such working at the same job, living in the same apartment, driving the same car. I think that many of the minor things would still be the same, but there would be one significant difference. I truly believe that I would not be hearing voices or experiencing these bodily sensations such as I do still every day. Prior to experimenting with EVP and communicating directly with the voices that I was hearing on my recordings, I had never heard voices like this in my life. It was only after I had used EVP as a means of channeling that I developed this condition of hearing voices and experiencing feeling this mysterious external presence at times.

 

  Getting back to this forum post that I saw the other day, it just seemed to me that this individual was diving headfirst into the same kind of situation that I found myself involved with back in 2015. The fact that they mentioned these various means of going about this communication and also that they were now able to communicate with these beings or spirits practically whenever they wanted, is what really got my attention.

 

  For myself, I was primarily only using one means of communication back in 2015 and that was doing EVP sessions with a voice recorder or the voice recording feature on my phone. Though, I did briefly experiment with using a Spirit Box and a few Spirit Box apps, but only a few times. I can’t speak about the other ways that this individual who posted on this forum was communicating, because I do not have any personal experience with them. However, I will add that I have seen other accounts similar to my own and corresponded with others who were also stricken with a condition of hearing intruding voices and feeling bodily sensations after they had been involved in doing one of these other means of communication, such as using a Ouija Board or Automatic Writing.

 

  It is my opinion that all of these means of communication carry with them the risk of being stricken with attachments. I am aware that there are a lot of people that engage in this kind of activity and they don’t run into this kind of trouble. Yet, it just struck me from reading what this individual posted, but they were just diving headfirst into this. So, I sent him a brief message where I basically tried to tell him to be careful, that I was doing this sort of thing back in 2015 and it led to a very bad situation, a situation that I’m still dealing with to a degree to this day.

 

  I told him how I started to hear voices and briefly discuss some of the other things that have occurred. I even shared with him a brief account from one of the others I know, who posted their own story on the internet a few years ago to warn about the same danger. Of course, I didn’t know if giving this individual such a warning would do any good, but I thought it worthwhile to try. In hindsight, I wish I had received a detailed warning about such danger back in 2015, while there was still time to take a different path.

 

  There were other individuals that were making comments as well in response to what this person posted, who were also trying to warn him. I did try to go into specifics to some degree and I told them that there is a risk of developing a condition of hearing intrusive voices.

 

This individual responded to what I had sent him the next day. They didn’t have too much to say other than they thought that what I was describing to them sounded like schizophrenia. They also stated that they were not surprised that’s such a thing could bring about schizophrenia. I left it at that. So, there it is…. I described what happened to me and what happened to many others that I know and this individual tried to put it in a category, a box with the label. This is not the first time that I’ve been told this, not even close.

 

What I do know is that I was involved with activity similar to what this individual was engaged in and as a result I began to hear voices. For the most part, these voices are not random either. When I first started hearing voices outside of my recording sessions, they were the same voices, or some of the same voices that I was hearing on my recordings. The one voice that I still here on a day-to-day basis to this day, this female sounding voice that calls herself Crystal, I first heard her voice on my EVP recordings back in February 2015. Even back then, her voice stood out and made an impression on me. I was hearing her voice on my recordings before I started hearing it outside the recordings and I’ve heard it every day since.

 

  Crystal’s voice can sound a little different now and again. Sometimes, her voice can sound whispery, sometimes it can sound a little more high-pitch. Yet, more often than not, I can recognize it as being the same voice. I’ve heard this voice every single day since the Spring of 2015, so you better believe that I can recognize it when I hear it.

 

  This voice did not always identify itself by the name Crystal either. That development only came about sometime in 2017 or 2018. I awoke suddenly one morning …very early. It was still dark outside, and this familiar voice was right there in my face as soon as I awoke and it said in a very clean voice “it is Crystal, it is Crystal that is here with you.” Since that morning, she has stuck with this name.

 

Every once in a while I might hear her say something like “Crystal is simply the closest name that my real name would translate to in your language”, but all the same she still identifies herself by this name. She has her own personality, her own mannerisms, and there is practically nothing random about her. She is an external presence. I have captured her voice on recording, which others have heard. I quit doing EVP sessions back in 2015, yet her voice remains and it sounds exactly the same today as it did when I first heard it on my recordings in 2015.

 

 

 

  • November, 2020


Submitted: November 15, 2020

© Copyright 2020 B.W. Edwards. All rights reserved.

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