The Great Milenko

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Young juggalo, Jenko, goes to his first gathering.

Jenko looked in the mirror, checking his clown makeup. Almost perfect. A few of the lines were shakey, but you'd have to be pretty close to notice. And fuck it anyway. It was the thought that counted.

His new hatchetman tattoo itched. Was it infected? That's what he got for going to a backyard tattooist. He hoped it healed before the gathering.

ICP took the stage like motherfuckers, literally. They each held a fat blowup doll in front of them. They thrust into the dolls, labeled 'your mom' and 'yours too' to eliminate any doubt of their motherfuckerness.

Jenko climbed onto his dad's back to get a better view. Who else would name their kid Jenko but a juggalo? Father and son both made the hatchet motion with their right arms. 

The two performers shook bottles of Faygo as if they were jerking off. Fat sweaty betty came onto the stage with a hatchet. She chopped the caps off each bottle, spraying the audience with the sweet sticky substance. Jenko and his dad were close enough to get hit by the metaphorical jizz.

"Woo," Jenko's dad shouted. He licked his lips, taking in the product of the jester bukkake.

Jenko's tattoo burned. He should have bandaged it, but he wanted to show it off. He had never felt this much pain in his thirteen years of life. He screamed in agony.

His dad brought him down to the ground to see what was wrong with him. The crowd around stopped watching the show. They closed in on the duo, trying to help. Juggalos are all about the community. If one of them hurts, they all hurt. That was usually just symbolic. This time it was literal. The whole audience grabbed their arms in pain: even Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope.

"What the fuck?" J said.

"I told you that slut last night looked sketchy," Shaggy said. 

The audience was in so much pain they couldn't even laugh.

Jenko's tattoo began to glow bright red. It pulsed to the beat of the song. What song? How about 'The Great Milenko'? Sounds good to me. The beat still played, but ICP were no longer rapping over it. They were on their knees, sliding around in the puddle of faygo. 

Jenko's arm tore open. Clawed fingertips protruded from the wound. They pulled him in two as a hatted head exited. The strange thing was that there wasn't any blood. The clown, because that's what it was, came out clean.

Jenko's loose skin fell to the ground. The thing standing in his place was familiar to everyone there, but the posers. It was fucking Milenko.

They all bowed except for Jenko's dad. He just stood there, his jaw almost touching the ground. His lip trembled as a solitary tear made a track through his makeup.

"Do not despair, disciple," Milenko said. "Jenko is in a better place now."

Jenko's dad smiled. He couldn't afford the little shit anyway. Now he could finally afford his drug habit.

"Aw, aw, aw," Milenko said. "Caught you slippin, bitch."

A wand appeared in Milenko's hand. He waved it at Jenko's dad, causing him to explode. There was plenty of blood this time.

The audience got to their feet. They ran for the nearest exit, trampling each other.

Milenko strolled through the fairgrounds, reading people's minds and punishing them if he found them lacking.

ICP stood at the edge of the stage. J put his mic to his face. "Yo, Lenko. What you doing, dawg? These are our people."

Milenko laughed. He pointed his wand at J and smiled. "You're okay." He moved the wand to Shaggy. "But him? He's the worst of all." 

Shaggy started shaking. He puked, revealing his last meal-two little toes and a nose, obviously belonging to a baby.

J backed away from his partner. "How could you?"

"C'mon, man. We sing about this shit all the time. At least I'm not a fake, like you."

Milenko jerked the wand back, and Shaggy floated into the air. His clothes flew off or just dropped onto the stage-They were pretty loose fitting in the first place. He floated nude.

"You want to do the honors," Milenko said.

"With pleasure." J scooped up the hatchet and approached Shaggy.

"What about our fans?" Shaggy said.

J slammed the hatchet into Shaggy's crotch, leaving a makeshift pussy between his bifurcated dick and balls.

"I'm going solo."


Submitted: November 19, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Reggie McWade. All rights reserved.

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