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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic





Table of Contents

Copyright © 2017 by Kirk Teasley

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Author's Bio


All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.














First Day


I remember when I first went into the gutter in Tj Mexico. The first thing that came to my mind is that this ain't normal. I never been out of the country at that point let alone a THIRD WORLD COUNTRY so everything was surreal. It was like time had stopped and everything was going in slow motion. I remember I went into the San Sedro boarding crossing over the bridge that takes you to downtown Tj and  walked by all the women with babies laying on the sidewalks begging for pasos.. that shit was heartbreaking. But what really fucked me up the most is that in Mexico they got this desert spider that bites the shit out of you and swells the infected area all up to the point puss comes out of it and the meat falls right off your body. I was seeing a lot of men  walking around with spider bites and you can literally see the bone marrow with all this puss coming out of it. So a dude walked up to me and asked me for a few pesos (he had one of them bites on his shin) and I was looking at it closely and I just got sick. I asked him what happened and he told me about that spider and that he could not go to the hospital because he had no money. They don't have healthcare or food stamps or anything like that in Mexico so if you get sick or something happens you on your own down there. It's the worst. I broke him off some pesos. What really hurted was seeing the children with the same bites and they can't get them treated. It just makes you want to cry. I started buying peroxide and bandages because they had to wake up every day with their shit all twisted like that ... and a lot of them had to go out and hustle to feed their families for that day. Grown Men selling taffy just to get a few pesos to buy their kids some grub...It's the worst. It changed my view of the world forever .. Real talk.


When I think about it today I believe that I am still alive because the Mexicans saw how torn to pieces I was at the poverty they were living in. They said that most Americans don't see or want to see how they was living and that is why they allowed me to see all that I seen..There is no project in the US or a terrible situation I had ever witnessed growing up in the US that compares to what they go through every day down there and to think this is right next door to one of the richest cities in the US..San Diego...All that sex trafficking and selling their kids is real ..The further you go in Mexico the poorer it gets to the point where you just can't believe what you're seeing. I was about 50 miles away from the Guatemalan Border..But it's heartbreaking.


I remember my first night in Tijuana Mexico.. It was like walking into the doors of Hell. Once I hit Revolution Blvd I knew the devil lived there..Every Biblical sin was going on at once plain view. With no shame. The first thing I seen was all the heroin addicts just laying on the sidewalks and in the alleyways shooting up right in their necks and how little girls were standing in front of clubs trying to get you to trick with them while the police stood and watched..Tr...ash everywhere and the streets haven't been clean in decades. You can literally taste the filth in the air as you witnessed the controlled carnage that unfolded in front of you. If I had to describe the environment it was like being in the middle of a very beautiful trash dump full of culture and pictures. I didn't make it from the border to my hotel room without being offered every sinful pleasure known to man for damn near nothing.. a few pesos. I knew I was in a different world. I remember when I first checked in the Hotel San Diego there were some dudes in the lobby and they peeped me getting a room. After an hour after check in I get a knock on my door and it's one of them asking if I was good and he wanted to send some girls to my room. I was like nah I'm good( I thought it was a setup) but it was a normal thing to them.. Later on that night I walked around (not realizing I'm probably the only black man in Tj Mexico with a city of close to 2 million people. When I walked past all the clubs on Agua Caliente I seen a strong police presence because that is the tourist area and then what jumped out at me was all the little girls I seen standing in front of the clubs and all the old men buying them and taking them into the rooms ajustant to the clubs. .They were little girls. This was all in front of the police.Later I found out that a lot were trafficked or their families were so poor that they sent their daughters up to Tj to get money for them so they can eat. Real Talk


I remember my second day in Tijuana Mexico and walking out in the morning from the hotel and seeing  near a million Mexican people on Revolution Blvd. It was something extraordinary. I first noticed that everything was outdated. The city was old. It was like I stepped into the 1940's Cars and buses were mad old and the center city looked like one big swap meet. It was as if the city had been frozen in time and not that well preserved. But the art was fascinating.. There were only a few modern buildings downtown but the rest were old warehouses like and you can tell that there is no real health code enforcement there.I paid 200 pesos for the month which is equivalent to 30 bucks US Dollars. My room was a hole in the ground and the water was a greenish transmission fluid like color. This was the best hotel they had on that side. They warn you not to drink the water and now I see why. To think that the majority of the country has to drink that water is just unbelievable. That shit is the worst. Right there and then I knew I can't eat the food or drink the water. So I'm walking down Agua Clientele Blvd and there was a big ass crowd at one of the intersections at one of the hotels and the Federalizes ([police) were there. Come to find out that some tourists had got robbed and murdered. Apparently they were buying meth and trusted somebody to come back with the dope but they came back with a crew and robbed and killed them. They ducked, taped their hands and feet and put a clear plastic bag over their heads and taped it around their necks and suffocated them to death. I think they were tourists from Romania.. I overheard the crowd speaking in Spanish. I was like damn that shit is crazy. I knew right then and there this is the business.


What was apparent in my second day in Tijuana Mexico was that everybody watches your every move and be following you to see if they can get you or if you going to stray off of the main tourist streets (hopefully in one of those alleys to take a piss) so they can billy club you to death. I was well dressed which stood out and I kept wondering why I kept seeing the same mf's on every street I went on. I just had that feeling I was being followed. But I'm a street nigga so I know when something ain't right. Plus when the police peeped me out they started to follow me as well. Come to find out that the police only make $50 Dollars a month and that they are shaking Americans down for money. If you ain't got no money they planting something on you and then take you to prison knowing your peeps from out of the country going to send this outrageous ass bail to get you out (ransom) if you make it out alive..The OG's in San Diego already put me on to game so I had all my money in my shoes and only kept 200 pesos on me in case of the shake down.


So I was out for about an hour and a half on my second day in Tijuana Mexico and it was hot as hell. I never felt no dry ass desert heat like that. I was starting to get hungry and I knew I had to go get some food back in San Ysidro across the border. The food (especially the meat) looked suspect like they killed the animal 6 months ago and kept it in the freezer that long so I started to head back to my hotel room and when I got there there was a beautiful older mexican woman there. Her Skin was flawless and she spoke with a thick Mexican accent...( she was beautiful as hell to be an older woman) She had to be between 35 and 40. So as I'm checking back in we started to small talk in Spanish ( y'all know I speak full Spanish) and this mexican dude walks in and peeped that small chemistry that was going on with me and the lady and dude just went behind the counter and kicked her right in her ass and called her a whore.. He told her to get back to work. I said to myself wtf just happened. That just threw me right off. So she tried to laugh it off ( i knew she was embarrassed) so she gave me my key and she walked into the other room and it was just me and dude in the main lobby. I guess he saw the bewildered look on my face. I thought it was her husband or something but it wasn't He said to me in broken english that when women in mexico are not married by 17 or they have sex before marriage they are treated like whores .. Real Talk


I remember my third day in Tijuana Mexico. I was still not registering what was going on and where I was. My eyes were processing the data but my mind was not registering that I am in one ...If not the most dangerous cities in the Northern Hemisphere. Despite it being filthy it was beautiful. All the art and music. You can really feel the culture but you can clearly see the danger. On the main streets you have the tourists which were somewhat modern but when you slide on one of them back streets you see the real Mexico with the chronic drug addiction and prostitution going on. It's like demons waiting on you in the lurch waiting to fulfill any sick desires you have....everything goes. Every time I stepped out of a store I had at least 5 people wanting a word with me to offer illicit goods and products. And then there was the poor. just laying there right on the side of the street looking like death itself. Me not being used to seeing mass poverty like that I started giving them pesos (I had 15.000 thousand of them) not knowing that one pesos bought you food for 2 days.. I really didn't understand how RICH i was and the financial power I had until I kept buying all kinds of things and still had a ton of pesos left. For example I bought 2 pairs of prescription glasses and two pairs of contacts with the eye exam (that would have cost me 350 dollars easy in the US) for only 800 pesos. That is equivalent to 60 US dollars. I'm like a dam. And then every time I would go into the XOXO store (their version of 7-11) I would buy a lot of snacks .. The red Doritos are the truth  and I would only spend 1 pesos for items that would cost me about 15 dollars at the 7-11. I'm like damn this shit is crazy. I was splurging and didn't realize I had some of the most dangerous people on earth peeping my every move .






I remember my 4 day in Tijuana Mexico. I was walking down Revolution Blvd and I could not believe how crowded it was with Mexicans. I didn't know that Tj had over 2 million people in it. It was live with mad people coming and going. I damn near stopped in every store on Revolution and bought something and that was my big mistake because I was walking down the street with all these bags and that was an indicator that I had money. I kept going back to the hotel and stashing my stuff and then went right back out . It was like a crazy rush to have all them pesos for real. I remember this was the night of the Pac and Mayweather fight and overheard they were going to be showing the fight at this club on Agua Caliente (name withheld) about 9:30 but in Tijuana Americans have a curfew of 8 pm but I wasn't going to miss the fight so I went back to the hotel after being out all day got dressed and slid over to the club. I remember walking in and seeing all these pretty Mexican girls all lined up as soon as you walk in the door. (all for sale) for $13 dollars a pop. Any one of them or as many as you want in one pop as long as your cash is right. I was just there to see the fight. I didn't know that this club and all clubs in the area belong to Cartel and everybody running them is Cartel. One of the most powerful drug cartels in the world and here I am watching the fight with dudes that will cut you up into little pieces and leave your remains in a bowl in an alley for them sick ass dogs to chew on.. But I wasn't thinking like that. I made it known through my body language that if it comes to me I ain't going alone..I remember the bartender coming over to me and saying that I had the heart to come in there alone. I laughed at him. Then as the fight progressed some other people that operated the club came over to my table and offered me some of the girls but I was like nah I'm good. The way it was set up is that you can pay for a drink for the girls then you pay the house and then there is this room that sits right in the club (all tented) and trick  with the girls. But that room also had another door to it where they could come and snatch you up and drag you in the basement in some kidnap type situation while you got your pants down. I was on to the game. So when they saw I was not for all that then they assumed I wanted to do some other type of business. So they came over to me and started talking figures and that they had work for me driving. They had a truck they wanted me to drive from Tj to Mexicali (another border town) and drop it off. They wanted to see if I was loyal and trustworthy and if I came through they would pay me decently. I was like hell nah. Because if I drive and get caught trying to bring tons of that raw threw the border I’m doing a million light years in a Mexican prison and if you get through as soon as you get out the truck they're going to hit you off with those heaters and leave your body in a ditch...real talk. They usually do that to people they kidnap and then tell one he has to drive or they were killing their friend or whoever they are with but they both end up getting the short end anyway. Real talk.


It was about my 6th day in Tijuana Mexico and I was starting to get familiar with where I was at. I was still feeling a bit in danger but it seems that the Mexicans were starting to get used to the ideal of me being there. I refused to eat the food and drink the water so I had to cross the border every day just to get me something to eat and then come back and depending on what time of the day you cross the border you could be sitting in that hot ass desert heat for 3 and 4 hours. I remember I was going back across the border (it was about 4:30) and I seen this hippy looking white guy and he was wearing a sheet (nothing else) so he was standing next to me in the line and I asked him what happened he said he was set up by the police and he just got out of jail and that they robbed him for everything that he had. He said while he was in prison the guards kept beating on him with this wooden paddle in the back of his legs. He showed me the marks. I was like damn that's crazy. As we proceeded through the border I kept promising the mothers with their babies I will be back to bring them food and pesos. It's a fucked up scene to see that. No food and no water for the babies. It just reminded me of how us Americans take so much for granted. I just can't see how any person in the world can walk by that and not care at all. I was sliding them some pesos to hold them over until I got back. They had to do it on the sneak because the addicts would rob them of their money. They didn't care if the babies ate that day or not. It's a dog eat dog world there.


It was about my 10th day in Tijuana Mexico and I was walking down Agua Caliente Blvd. That is one of the main strips in the city. Once you go 3 blocks away from Revolution down Agua Caliente your life is pretty much on the line. Ain't no real police protection for tourists and that is how a lot of people from other countries come up missing.. I just couldn't help myself though because once you turn up the back streets from the tourist area that is when you see the real Mexico. I was heading to this swap meet about 7 blocks away from the hotel and I happened to see one of the owners of that club I went to see Pac and Mayweather fight. He was in his car and he spotted me. So he gets out of the car (him and three other dudes) and we started talking again. He wanted to know if I was still interested in doing business and the offer is always open for me. What shocked me the most is that he knew that I was giving away pesos to a lot of people to help feed them and he thought that was decent of me and he wanted me to know I walk through Mexico with no fear. Everybody was out that day on the ave so everybody peeped me out talking to dude. Hear to come find out this was the BIG MAN. The Godfather of Tj and I had no clue. I didn't find out till weeks later. I knew something was different because of the unlimited amounts of respect that I was starting to get from the hood and the different looks that I was getting. It was apparent that Mexicans don't like black men and they show it. They will spit in your food or put poison in it if you buy something there or call you a nigger but I got none of that after that day things just changed. Black women can run through Mexico without any fear but a black man is in danger as soon as he crosses the border and the reason is because of the Buffalo Soldiers. The Mexicans are really bitter about that till this day and the anger and hate is passed down from generation to generation.They blame the black man for killing a lot of their people and taking California, New Mexico Texas and all the border States and leaving them with the most fucked up part of Mexico. (a desert) I looked it up and they were right.







 So it's about my 13th day in Tijuana Mexico and I have been coming to the city on a regular basis. Still cautious. At my hotel (the Hotel San Diego) I can see the entire block right from my window and at night all you see is a bunch of wild Mexicans drinking and fighting all night and as soon as the Mexican police come they all scatter. Everything is being bought and sold. Pills, weed, coke, heroin girls,boys and every sick pleasure known to man. I remember It was late and I wanted to run to the XOXO (Mexican version of 7-11) to grab me some snacks and this Mexican dude was standing right outside of the store. He told me that he had secretion from a toad's back that he was trying to get off. I was like what the hell is that. He said you lick it and it will get you high for hours. I laughed at him. Fuck this nigga trying to sell me? On my way back from the store the prostitutes were lined up at the door of the hotel. They are waiting on you to get there and then flash you something to see if you will go for it. I don't trick plus I found out that once you trick with them they demand more money from you or they call the Mexican police and say you raped them or they will poke you with an AIDS infected needle.


The next day I went back to the hood just to see what I could see. When you first turn on them backstreets it's like nothing you have ever seen in your life. The filth and stench of garbage will damn near knock you off your feet and the people looked old dirty drugged out and starving. They all had murder in their eyes as well. It appeared to me that they were shocked to see me there and I was shocked to see the living conditions that they were living in. They were on survivor mode for real. I was saying to myself wtf I need to be walking through this crazy ass shit with one of those white center for disease control suits that they put on when they are handling deadly viruses with the oxygen tank. .It was heartbreaking. the houses were damn near falling down and it was like 12 people to a house. Nobody had food or money and everybody looked sick.I remember the kids were the first to approach me. There was this old man selling ice cones so I bought all the kids one and then I proceeded walking deeper into the hood. Surprisingly they let me walk right through with no problems. They just kept throwing up the peace signs and I waved back to them. I had a little fear because this was severe poverty on the highest level. Extreme poverty like that will make people do some serious things to feed their families. I heard that some Americans get drunk and stray off into the DANGER ZONE and then they will get rolled up on by a group of 6 Mexicans in a pickup truck and then they will snatch them up and put them in the back of the truck and then put a black bag over their head and then drive them way out in the desert to a abandoned building and then tie them to a chair ass naked and beat their feet with the back end of a hammer until they give them the pen number to their credit card. Once they get the pin then 3 days later the Mexican police find them face down in a sewage drain with their limbs cut off and when the police roll them over their face be so bashed in there is no way a dental identification can be made. They ship their bodies back to the US as John Does.


I remember it was about my 17th day in Tijuana Mexico. I was up in my hotel room thinking to myself wtf is going on down here. This shit is a madhouse. It felt like I was living in the 1920 depression era America. I just couldn't believe how lawless shit was and how one false move could lead to a mf’s doom. After being in the hood and seeing the setup I thank god that I didn't drink, I can see how it all goes down with those tourists that are getting drunk and get lost coming out of bars or get set up by one of them whores and lead to their deaths. They really don't see it coming. One minute they are alright and the next they are in some basement with 4 Mexican dudes holding them down and a fifth swinging an axe at them like he was chopping wood for a fire. They would have loud ass mexican music on so nobody can hear the screams but it someone did I doubt they would even give a fuck.. Afterwards they would put the body parts in 5 trash bags and spread them all around the city. Those sick ass dogs at the dump are chasing each other with their legs in their mouths fighting each other for it like pits. It gets real in the field. Shiddd even great great grandma will put a 12 inch kitchen knife in your back standing on a makeshift walker if she knew you got them pesos. She would go all through your pockets while you stretched all out in the middle of the street then afterwards she would send her grandbabies to the store to get her 2 chicken burritos and a corona and take a nap. It's the worst. I bought some weed while I was there (Malta) and that shit ain't to be played with. Two puffs of the blunt will have you barking at a tree for 5 hours in that blazing ass Mexican heat forreal. That shit is straight from the fields. I got a half pound for $3 US dollars.. Shit had me thinking all kinds of crazy ass shit. I'm thinking about what the dudes at the club were saying to me. I mean It really didn't hit me til then. I'm like did these dudes just make me a made man? Access to that Raw? 2 phone calls away from the BIG MAN? Choppo? Wtf Im tripping! Then as I kept smoking that weed I'm like saying to myself if I can't be famous doing good things I mind as well go down with the bad guys. Noriega, Escobar. Choppo. I would have tons of that raw pumping through those tunnels like traffic through Holland Tunnel in NYC. It aint everyday a nigga get a chance to make it snow in the like fuck that. Shiddd forreal. I'm pacing back and forth in my room like I'm in a beautiful nightmare. After a nigga be offered that type of paper he aint right at that point and will never be right again. But I know that shit can get out of control if 2 pesos come up short. This is the Mexican Mafia.. the Sinaloa Cartel... the world's most powerful drug-trafficking organization.Im out of my league on every level. They would have me in a back room all tied up clipping my fingers and toes off with a branch cutter and watch me bleed to death in agony. I couldn't sleep for the next 3 days.....






So It's my 22nd day in Tijuana Mexico and I'm still alive. I been all over town especially up them back streets and made it to see the next day. I remember when the Mexicans started calling me Chi Moreano. They didn't know my name so they just gave me that and I started to respond to that. I thought it sounded hard as hell. I'm still blowing off pesos like it ain't no tomorrow and going back and forth across the border to eat everyday and I remember I was waiting in that long ass line about 2:30 in the afternoon and some shit jumped off right at the border entrance. It was about in the middle of the line and all I heard was screaming and shouting and people started to rush back towards me like a stampede. I moved to the side and looked up and all I seen was a big ass group of Mexicans getting it on with knifes. I was a Mexican gang fight. I didn't get a good good look at it all but I was close enough to see that. I remember the Mexican Army (they patrol the Mexican side of the border) started pointing them AK-47s and was yelling in spanish. I'm like damn if they get to spraying right here it would be a bloodbath. Shit just got hot like that in seconds. I was forced to move with the crowd so I walked back across the bridge and went back to the hotel. I remember when I got back to the tell I'm like fuck that shit .its crazy out here and anything can happen at anytime. I got to get the fuck out of here for real but I was like shittt Im rich ..them pesos spend decently.

So it's about my 30th day in Tijuana Mexico and I am still on my routine. You never really get over the feeling you're in danger there no matter how many times you made it back to America. The feeling is unreal. I remember I was working for the City of San Diego for Parks and Recreations (Balboa Park) and I used to catch the trolley from the San Ysidro Border to work and come right back to Mexico. The ride is only 30 minutes and the hotel I was staying at was right across the bridge of death in Mexico. I could have taken a cab for only 18 pesos ($1 US) but it's dangerous as hell in those taxies. If those taxi drivers know you don't know what you're doing and where you're going they will set a MF up decently. Drive you in one of them back streets and call his amigos to do you dirty. He will take you to some alleyway and get out of the car with you sitting in the back street and then 5 Mexicans will roll up on the car and snatch you right out that mf and beat you with metal pipes. Leave your cabbage looking like turkey ala king. When the Federalizes (Mexican police) find you all they are going to find is your sneakers with your severed feet still in them. Real talk. So one day I was coming across the border and this dude walked up to me and was trying to sell me a plastic dog. I started laughing at him. I was like nah i'm good. He had the saddest look on his face when I told him I didn't want to buy his plastic dog. I had a burrito in my hand that I bought from San Ysidro and he asked me if he  can have the rest and that he hadn't eaten in 4 days. I said dam and as I was handing it to him it accidentally dropped out of the aluminum foil straight on that dirty ass ground. I was going to break him off with some pesos so he can get something to eat but before I could even go in my pockets dude bent down and banged it right from the ground. Then asked if he could wash it down with my water. Shid I was like damn that's crazy. I broke him off 5 pesos to get him something to eat anyway. He told me his name was Jose and he was part of the PIRU GANG......If i ever seen a more sincere nigga in my life it was dude. So I got back to the hotel and as I was walking up to my room I saw this Mexican dude standing at the top of the stairs looking all suspicious. When he peeped me coming he dipped past me down the stairs. I didn't think anything of it so as I was going to my room I noticed my door was open. I walked in and caught the lady that was in the room 2 doors down going through my shit. I started to snap on her but she started crying and all that. Begging me not to hit her and all this crazy shit. She was trying to reach for my pants and unsnap my zipper but I was like get the fuck off of me and kicked her out of my room. Them Mf's are some serious thieves. But that was my fault for splurging.










So I'm on 34 days in Tijuana Mexico and I'm starting to feel a bit relaxed. By now everybody in town had seen me around and nothing happened to me so far. I am going out regularly and despite it being the most dangerous place in the world I didn't feel anything was going to happen to me. I was sort of like a made man there and mad people were relying on my pesos just to feed their families for that day at least. It was like giving them change considering I get $18 pesos for. every american dollar. They made me feel like I was a boss there. The reason they give the business to a lot of foreigners is because they come to their country and don't do jack shit for them after seeing how fucked up shit is. Won't give a Mf nothing real talk. I was a different story. I remember I was heading to the XOXO (Mexican version of 7-11) and I saw  damn near a Million Mexicans on Revolution Blvd. They were having a festival. I swear it was packed. I didn't even know it was jumping off. I saw all kinds of shit that I ain't never seen before. They were having those mock bull fights and bands were playing that old 1800's Mexican music. Everybody was dressed up like they stepped out of a movie. I was like dam. I couldn't snap any shots of it because something was wrong with my phone. Imagine a million Mexicans and you're one of a few if not the only black mf there. I had a dam ball all day long. But i was bothered by my phone because it was doing some shit I ain't never seen it do before. It kept beeping when it was off and all kinds of icons were showing up that ain't even in the manual. I just felt uncomfortable not having a way to call anybody if it goes down. I didn't think anything of it until I tried to cross the border the next day and I was detained by the border patrol for the first time. They took me in this room and started to ask me all these questions as to why I'm in Mexico and my drug traffic conviction I got in the 90's. Then they ask me about my affiliations and why I am in certain areas . I'm like WTF is going on here. Then it dawned on me that the US was tracking me by satellite. They were keeping a close eye on my black ass forreal. I was like damn that's crazy. They went through all my shit and I knew that it was bigger than a routine questioning because of how all the officers in the room were going to be from Indiantown Gap (my hometown) It was a ploy to make me feel comfortable. I told them man I ain't doing shit but having a good time and setting things up to film a movie. I can tell they weren't going for that shit though. My criminal record is ugly as hell. But they let me go and I knew right then and there shit could get real serious if I decided to go Escobar on them


So it's like my 45th day in Tijuana Mexico and I'm still on the prowl. I kind of got over all the fear of being attacked or kidnapped and moved throughout the city like I lived there all my life. About that time I got to know a lot about who is who and what and what not to get into. Things started to come together mentally and was relaxing like it was normal. The Mexicans (despite being real killers when they have to) are real good people. When you break bread with them, your family as far as they are concerned. Plus I got to know a lot of the PIRU's, the biggest street gang in Tj. They are the ones that are going all out but they knew I was  good peoples. When I got approached it was out of respect and not out of a potential victim.


 So I'm back at the hotel San Diego still smoking that Malta (Mexican Weed) and thinking all kinds of crazy shit. I mean the first thing that hits me is that I ain't in U.S. Jurisdiction anymore. I ain't gotta worry about the Feds or anything else of that matter. Secondly since Im broke in down here I can do almost anything I want to do there. I could catch a body and pay my way out of it..Shiddd. Real Talk. It felt nice to be in a country where the government is corrupt and $100 US dollars is $1800 to them. Plus I speak full spanish. The cops are with it as long as your payoff is right. Plus them cartel boys really opened the door for me to act a straight fool. I remember a few months ago the US coast guard captured 25 tons of that hard white off the coast of Canada and brought it to San Diego and I was wondering how in the fuck did they let 25 t's get away from them like that but now that I know what I know it was the payoff to let 500 tons of the moon in you feel me. Dam. All I had to do was move one and then my next order was unlimited??? Lawd have mercy. I'm like I know I could get that off easy and then when it's time to re-up I would have said "let me run with it all".Real talk.


Chapter 2

Fiftieth Day in Mexico


So it's my 50th day in Tijuana Mexico and I'm really considering not even going back to the US. I mean shit done really opened up for me plus I came up on some real decent information. I found out that Mazda has a plant in Tj where they make the cars. I shot over there and spoke with HR and they said that they would hire me on American wages since I was an american citizen (GOD BLESS AMERICA) they were paying the Mexicans 20 pesos a week but I would have been making like $ 18 per hour to start with full benefits. Shiddd. Right in TJ. This is the business. But I was still struggling with going Escobar on them..I'm thinking 5 good runs of it all and I could break the bank then dip off on them. I'm back at the hotel room smoking that weed and weighing the pros and cons of that shit. Like first off I don't think any nigga in history ever got this close to the BIG MAN. Especially where I'm only 2 phone calls away. I'm talking history here you feel me. So if I would go that route It has to be all out with it. Then I know I could never go home ..ever. I would be on the run for the rest. I was thinking about how Chapo, Escobar and Noriega got popped. They all were at home chilling. I'm saying to myself wtf was wrong with them chilling at the crib and you the most wanted man in the world. Same with B-Ladden. I said to myself If it was me I have 2 choices. Go somewhere and get plastic surgery and then off the doctor as soon as I get up from the table (dude seen my face) or relocate to a place where navy seals ain't coming up in there like that for me. I was thinking about Russia. I would have a 30 bedroom Victorian Style Villa on a mountain overlooking Saint Petersburg and push a 2016 cream colored ferrari 488 spider doing 2 and some change with russian model Irina Shayk in the passenger. Shiddd the rims would have been so sick with it you would have thought I was gliding on gravity..real talk. I would have had 200 bodyguards with me at all times.Them rubles is good money you feel me? That is what I was struggling with under that Mexican weed.


So I'm about 55 days down in Tijuana Mexico and I'm dwelling on all the lessons I have learned so far. The first thing that I realized is the level of hate that surrounds this place and how to recognize it when it comes at you. Usually it is IN THE STATEMENTS somebody throws at you. They test you to see if you caught it and then if you didn't then they keep throwing it at you to see how far they can go with it. In this jungle the Mexicans can feel hate through a person's actions as well as his words then they treat them accordingly. You see you can't bring that hate in a lawless environment like it is down here because a hater will get seriously dealt with. Ain't nobody going to save you or stop somebody else from doing what they want to do to you or your family. They smell the hate in the blood like a great white smells blood in water. As soon as they come across that border, PIRU's would be stalking them like predators. Laying on them to get to close to one of them alleyways where they can roll up on them 6 deep and then just go on them with bricks bottles fists feet and whatever is there until they out cold. Afterwards they wake up strapped down to a lawn chair in an old van screaming but nobody can hear them because somebody got a rag in their mouth with their hand over it while somebody else is ripping the kidneys out with no anistic. It be a total mess. Afterwards they put it in a jar to be sold on the black market. They find the body 6 days later in a basement of an abandoned house outside of town. If they get found. Real Talk.





So I'm 2 months in Tijuana Mexico and it is what it is. I'm still moving along and doing what I do without any signs of danger. I have been cashing in $300 US dollars a week which gives me $5400 pesos being that the exchange rate is 18 pesos to $1 US dollar.Times that by 4 and you get over $21.600 a month in pesos. Shiddd a nigga rich in the jungle. Ain't no feelin like blowing over 20 grand a month. Like who in the hell leaves something like that? The best part about it was that I moved freely in the most dangerous place in the world. I started to bring my food and water down in bulk to my hotel room so I wouldn't have to cross the border everyday. I would go to Costco's in San Diego and then load up. When I came back across the border (the bridge of death) I used to give cheese, milk and bread to the mothers with babies that were living on that bridge. That has to be a hell of an existence. They don't have child welfare services or food stamps in Mexico so they have to get it the best way they know how. With that type of bread to blow a month, me giving them 3 pesos was like giving them 15 cents but they could feed their families off of that being that everything is mad cheap there. By this time the love they are showing back is tremendous. I was hearing my Mexican name being called wherever I go.


So I'm back at the hotel smoking that Malta (Mexican weed) and I'm saying to myself shidd there is more opportunity here than meets the eye. I'm like if I make that type of cheddar I mind as well rent me a big ass office and open me a bi -lingual call center and solicit contracts with american companies. Shid I could bankroll the whole thing until the checks start rolling through. I was in that industry for years and I could have about a thousand employees within 3 months. But then I started thinking about moving that HARD WHITE on an international level and my thoughts got away from me. Shiddd. I'm like I would get so ridiculous with it you would be able to get 5 grams of that raw as a side order with sushi in Japan..yall know them flakes come frosted.


So I'm about 64 days in Tijuana Mexico and it's getting sweeter and sweeter by the second. Despite the carnage going on around me I didn't feel a part of it or had to be afraid of it like 99% percent of everybody that ain't Mexican do. I found myself walking down Agua Caliente Blvd by that club where the Cartel Boys are at and I kept walking by looking in and then I would sit across the street and just be in a daze. I was like wtf I should go do that shit and see where that goes you feel me. Like shid this is the business right here and when a ton of that comes on credit??? all kinds of doors can open. I'm like stuck on stupid about all that. I didn't go in the club yet because I was like how in the fuck i'm going to go about all that and if this don't go right on the first run I'm a dead man forreal. Them cartel boys would have me hamstrung hanging upside down on a hook in a barn beating my bare back with a bullwhip..death comes slow down here. I said shiddd I got to give that some more thought before I go there with all that. So I shot back to the hotel and lit me one of them blunts up and I was like the only way I could get that off is to have my shooters with me. My dogs Leon and Luis came to mind. These is my most trusted of niggas on the planet and they both go all out. I met Leon back in 91 when I was taking down that 4-8 upstate for that trafficking case I caught. My OG Bow from Pittsburgh introduced us. I was a big law boy in the jail at the time and my OG told me to look out for him. We became tight after that till this day. My dog caught 35 years for blasting on a squad full of cops on a drug Wilkesbarre Pennsylvania He pumped 5 rounds at them with a sawed off and hit two. We peeped an error in his sentencing and gave them back all 35 years. They reduced his sentence to 10 and he got out in 2002. I met my dog Luis 2011 in Miami. He put me down with this lick he had going on with a bunch of Millionaires. They were paying us for protection and then when the job was complete they checked in a $1.8 million dollar 82-unit apartment complex in center city Miami.It was a run down building but shiddd the city was anxious to buy because of the development. Louie and I  owned it outright. We threw wild parties for 3 years right in the swamps. The city took our shit because we weren't paying the taxes on it plus I didn't want to sell. One day a fool got out of control and Luis split his shit to the white meat and a swat team came for him. I watched him jump out of a 3 floor window and landed on his feet and got away from about 70 cops. They were looking for him all night long. I can see my niggas on the first flight to San Diego. We all in the Semi AK'ed up!


So I'm 70 days in Tijuana Mexico and It's all good. I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck i'm still doing here and what direction that I am going to go in. I have been shopping and admiring all the art that the city has to offer. It reminds me of an ancient city being swallowed up by the sand like those cities in Egypt. I originally came down here to film a documentary but I never thought that I would run into things I got going on now. Shit done got real. Still back at the hotel smoking that Mexican weed and tripping out. I'm like  shid with over 20k to blow a month that makes it a quarter mill I blow a year. Dam the bullshit...quarter mill in pesos?? I started to think about the scenery down here . They got places out here that ain't been touched since the 1800's.. I would have came off with a movie hotter than Clint Eastwood's ":Long Pale Rider" real talk. I was like If  I come off and make 3 good flicks I'll be in good money. But then I got to thinking about pushing that Yayo again. I'm like I should just leave that shit alone and keep focused. I know if shit doesn't go right it all spirals downhill from there plus I am still alive. I mind as well get out while I can but then I was thinking man that is a ton of that raw son. Who in the hell turns down an opportunity to push a ton of that raw? I bet Td Jakes would be all strapped up ready to go through these tunnels if he knew about that raw.... Shiddd. fuck flipping a bird this is the whole species nigga. So as I hit the blunt I'm saying to myself I've been a bad guy all my life..real talk. I remember in the third grade in Miss Watson's class we had an assignment to grow a flower and water it every day and me and my homie Kev started growing weed..We got popped and suspended. From 7 to 12 years old me and my gang were stealing everything from bikes to clothes to breaking into houses and cars to swooping people and everything else. At 13 I got sent away for 5 counts of burglary of a gas station. We stole every tool in that mf plus the cars. I got a year in a boys home for it and I escaped from there twice and stole a getaway car as well. I been a hoodlum but pushing a ton of that raw was the grand canyon of boss moves...straight Escobar status with no chaser!






It's 73 days in Tijuana Mexico and It can't get any better than this. One of my Mexican homies told me he had a cousin that owned a beach house in Rosarito and that he would rent it to me for $130 US dollars. I was like I don't know about that shit there because I am right at the border if I ever had to get out of that mf in a few minutes. I got a 70 percent chance of making it back to the US alive if shit all goes bad from the hotel but if I go all the way down there it ...could turn for the worst. That shit was 45 minutes in plus I would have to take this old van that travels back and forth called the "EL Centro". But fuck that I wanted to see something different so my homie hooked it up and I got on that mf. It was only 18 pesos (1 dollar) and he took me straight down Agua Caliente deep deep deep deep deep down in that mf. The ride was about 45 mins and extraordinary. I saw mountains and hills like I saw in the westerns I used to watch and was passing little towns and shit. The driver was doing about a buck 40 in this old ass van and I didn't have a seat belt on and I was in the van with 9 old ladies. We were out. He dropped me off in the middle of town and I remember saying to myself were in the fuck im at. This shit is beautiful. It was old but classy. I remember the driver telling me that there is a van that comes to this spot every half hour 24 hours a day so I am good. I said damn this is crazy. I started to walk around looking for a XOXO (Mexican version of 7-11) because they are the only places that have telephone service in the country. Your Metro only works in Tj. So I'm like as long as I know where to catch that el centro van I am good money. I was walking around and started to buy shit there too. Shit was cheaper and the Mexicans there were a little darker than the ones up Tj. They were damn near as black as me and the women were drop dead gorgeous. I was like damn So I went into this taco shop and he let me use his phone to call my peeps there and he came to the taco shop and picked me up and took me to the crib. Shit was right on the dam beach with all utilities included and it had a horse that came with it.. Wtf. I broke him that $130 quick and he dipped off. I said to myself I'm dreaming. The ocean was blue as hell and it was beautiful. I was wondering why ain't nobody in the water though. Came to find out later ain't no shark nets....but fuck it was beautiful




So I'm in my 74th day in Mexico but my first day in Rosarito Mexico. The Mexican ocean was beautiful and the city was small and semi clean. It was old and made out of wooden buildings. Art was everywhere and everybody there seemed off to themselves. It was like I stepped into the turn of the century Mexico. My beach house had a casino 2 blocks down and there was a supermarket about 4 blocks away as well. So I'm saying to myself shiddd I did it now. I am way deep in this mf but my pockets were on swole with pesos so I knew I was good no matter what. I started to walk around and look at everything and the art was mad crazy. I walked down the main blvd for about 4 hours just hitting every store there. I sat on this bench and said to myself I can't believe I live here. I saw this cop riding on a 4 wheeler and then I started seeing posse's of dudes riding horses through town. I shot back to the crib and fired one of them blunts up and said shiddd I got to psychoanalyze this shit here. There wasn't that much poverty there and although there were traces of it it was further on the outskirts. The beach looked like the beach on the Blue Lagoon and off to my left there was an Island that looked like King Kong's with the cloud around it and everything. When night fell it was something special. I never in all my life heard shit so quiet. I mean you could hear a baby kitten crying for its mother 8 blocks away and the moon was so close you thought you could reach out and touch it. My house was like a regular house but the fact that it was right on the beach made it special. I was like damn this shit crazy. I'm hitting that Mexican weed like damn I must have really been in god's favor to come up with all this. This was total peace and relaxation.


I'm on my 77th day in Mexico but my 3rd day in Rosarito and I damn near bought the whole town up. Crib is mad sick with it. The only thing I didn't like was them big ass Mexican cock roaches. Them mf's were so big you would hesitate before you kill it. But other than that shit was lit. I was all over the place and the people were cool. It was like I lived there all my life. I said to myself Shidd I finally made it out the hood. So it was the Broner fight and I took the El Centro... back to Tijuana to catch it at that club where the Cartel Boys were at. As soon as I walked in they knew I was thinking about that shit hard. I guess it was written all over my face. They came up to me like so what's good? I'm like I'm still thinking about all that but my answer ain't yes and it ain't no. They were like cool. Whenever you are ready just come holler at us. I stayed there till 4 in the morning. Browner took his first loss. I caught the El Centro back to Rosarito and during the ride I was thinking to myself ..fuck this shit I can't be flirting with the devil like that. I'm going to fuck around and do something I regret. But then I got to thinking about pushing a 2016 BMW M3 Sedan (all black looking like Darth Vader) through the autobahn in Germany sliding to my 50 bedroom estate in Munich . Dam the bullshit..... I'm thinking about my shooters and pictured us arriving at them tunnels supervising that transfer. Me knowing my dogs shidd they squeezing if a mf blink one too many times.Real talk.


I would have called in one of my sugar honey pies from Cali. Young cutie., straight valley no hood in her but dig her og's ghost. She would probably run into a burning building if she thought that I was in there.Not knowing  for a fact but thought. She got mad paper plus a degree and her whole team on top. They be  taking lavish trips to Vegas and LA blowing paper ridiculously plus she pushes an E class Benz. Something in her wants to prove she is grimmy too and she can go down with the best of them. I would have had her on point at the other end of that tunnel with 2 rented penske trucks and a hotel room on deck.


So I'm on my 77th day in Mexico down in Rosarito and I'm sitting on my front porch thinking to myself like wtf is going on here. This shit is absolute crazy. Ain't never seen nothing like it. I felt like I was living in a western.I kept looking at how blue the ocean is and how beautiful the clouds look over the sky. The whole city smelled like burritos and it wasn't all that chaos that was going on in Tijuana. Every now and then I kept taking a walk to the XOXO (Mexican version of 7-11) just to get a pack of swishers for my blunts. I was looking at that damn horse in front of my house and I said shiddd I'm going to ride that mf one day. I didn't have to be back at work for 2 more days so I was just sitting on the beach. It was very tranquil. I was sitting in the crib with no tv on, no lights or nothing just sitting at the table just lost in a blank stare like what is the next move. I was thinking shidd I could do some wild shit like produce a few Spanish tv shows and become famous down here. It would be mad easy. or start a humanitarian non profit organization to bring in food and aid from around the world. That would be decent but then I got to thinking about my past. I came from a very grimy environment growing up in my small town back in Pennsylvania. Shidd niggas there will sell dope to you your mom and their mom and wouldn't even give a fuck or smile in your face and try to hit your girl behind your back. Them niggas usually call you friend brother cuz or what have you. That was never my thing but I got down grimmy with them. I got an older cousin named Pooder that terrorized one section of the city for 5 years from 85-89 He was a bully ever since I knew him. Him and his crew were totally out of control back in the day. I was the baby of their crew. At eleven they used to come get me to help them rob the Amtrak trains. I was small enough to climb through the opening up under the train to unlock the latch. I remember we used to get chased by the Amtrak police while they were blasting rock salt rounds at us. We always got away. When I hit 12 they used to take me on kidnap robberies (strong arm) where they would put a mf in the trunk of their car and then they would be riding around with them in the back. Shidd when I got out of juvie placement at 14 my cousin wifed up this girl named Robin. Her dad was a big dope boy in the 70's I heard when vice finally took him down they strapped him on the roof of a police car and drove him around the city. He was living in Philly then and was sending my cousin these pink pills called B-I 62's. I used to spend the nights at his crib and go to school the next morning but I used to serve the fiends from 11-7. All night long they are banging on the door talking about 2 for 30 or 3 for 50. I was young and didn't know that I was part of a major trap house.This went on til I hit 16. My cuz would come down in the morning and break me my cut and I would slide to school. I always kept a banger close just in case. They got raided and she took the case.

So its my 78th day in Rosarito Mexico and I'm still thinking  about shit sitting in my beach house thinking about how crazy my past was and how I'm still alive or a free man. It is as if I was trained to be a criminal all my life. At 16 my cuz decided to start selling that hard white and that is when things changed. Him and his crew went all out. This nigga had a 88 baby blue lincoln and a all white 88 caddy with rims on it. He ran a good portion of the city for years.He never wanted me involved in that but let me come on a few moves with him to philly and nyc to pick up. We stayed on 6th street in this bar called Lou's where we were killing them. He used to give me a package to get off in the bathroom so I could have a few hundred in my pocket. A lot of cats that just started to come out and do their thing don't know that I knew they were picking up off my cuz and my cuz used to break me off out of that re-up so technically they were working for us. At the end of 88 some nyc cats came down and got jealous and rolled up on my cousin and pulled some guns out on him. My cuz told me he sped off and went home and got them things and went back to their hideout and shot the place up. He got into a high speed chase with the cops and they caught him with a sawed off and 4 handguns. He copped a plea for 2-5.I remember one time me and my cuz was out and he said cuz I want to show you something. Some dope fiends came by the crib to pick up some dog food (heroin) and wanted to bang up on the side of the crib. My cuz wanted me to see it. I was in the back seat and I watched them stick needles all in their necks and toes. I got sick as a dog. I never wanted to be involved in the game again after that but the streets somehow always dragged me back in. Now I'm in Mexico with two phone calls away from infamy. Shidd. It's a big struggle with all that.I left that life years ago and now here it is again on the biggest level one could ever imagine. A made man.??? fuck is going on here.I could imagine me and my shooters in the hotel bagging up a quarter ton in nicks and flooding 3-4ths of west coast until them major dope boys get word we holding. Once that happens we would be passing that raw out like we were giving away wheat at a poor  village in Africa. I would have called in a grimy ass nigga from my end named Ben. He was a nobody but he stayed in the streets. One of my cuties back home use to post up in the pj's in 97 that was waiting on a nigga doing life on the installment plan. She was a 10 in her own right and let it be known all I am is jODI. She was tight with his bm. She told me how this nut would drop his babymom off at her house and he wasn't even out of the parking lot she would be out the back door going hard. If I know my niggas from the pj's they slutted her decent. I can picture him landing in San Diego and moving straight out all goofy and happy he a part of some major shit.





So it's my 80th day in Rosarito Mexico and I'm still upside down on the moon about all this. I finally got the heart to get on that damn horse that morning. I rode a horse in placement when I was 13 but that was many years ago. I just hopped on him and he took the hell off. I swear we must have got up to 65 mph down the beach. Just me and him. I was out of there. Shiddd. There is an old trail that runs from Rosarito all the way to the Texas border that I was planning to take him through. It was a long trip but you only live once. I heard there are many old western towns along the way. 


So I'm back at the crib and still smoking that weed and tripping off that horse ride and thinking about how things are going so fast. I mean I'm good just the way things are. With a quarter mill in pesos to blow I ain't got a worry in the world. Shidd and to make it all sweet if I need anything I can always go to the American Embassy and get whatever I need (even money) and health coverage just because I'm american (GOD BLESS AMERICA) so there is no reason I should go hard. But then I got to thinking about that Amizult 50 all white 50 foot yacht I would have had off the coast of Guam with 6 other smaller boats surrounding me filled with my bodyguards. We would have looked like the pacific fleet coming through. Shiddd. You know a wanted man got to keep it moving.


I can picture me getting back with the big man 5 days later about his bacon and the re-up.I can see them cartel boys telling me the big man wants to meet me and the only way is to be blindfolded and put in the trunk of a car. I would have told them I wanted to take Ben with me. When we got there I would have walked in his room looking like the devil himself and dropped his paper on his desk in 2 big army duffle bags and kissed his ring out of respect. Me and Ben would have sat down surrounded by his guards and I would have slid him a 2016 Rolex submariner and an extra 10k. I can see the big man asking me what is the extra 10k for and I would have told him in spanish I needed a favor. I would have told him that this goofy mf beside me did some slimy shit to my god brother back home in 08. He was people's with him and had him over his crib to smoke weed and watch the game. That my god brother took a county bit down for some light shit and dude came by his crib and hit my god brother's wife while he knew he was sick and she was 5 months with my god brother's unborn. She came down with that ninja and she had to get an abortion. I would have told the big man I want to take care of that now. The extra 10k was for the carpet. I can see the big man nodding to one of his guards to pass me the banger. I would have put all 16 right the fuck in dudes dome and went 51-50 on him right in front of the boss. They would have had to calm me down. I would have sat back down while dude was laying there all fucked up. I would have told the boss I needed another 5 t's of that hard and what just went down was personal but I'm for hire. I can see the big man smiling and saying "me amigo" while they escorted me out the door.....


So It's my 84th day in Mexico and I'm down in Rosarito and the days are kind of slowing up. When I was in Tijuana everything was going so fast but now it seems like normal. By this time I'm looking like some type of mad man thinking about all the different directions that I can go with this fortune I stumbled upon. It felt like I landed on Pluto. As my mind raced back and forth I kept thinking about my past. All the negative and positive things I did in this thing we call life. I never claimed to be a good person. I just hid the bad guy to enter the workforce but even then I was looking for a lick. My past is horrible.When people say "i'm a product of my environment" that is a true statement. I think about how grimy my hometown was and still is. Niggas there will take down a lick with you and be pointing at you from the witness stand. Then when you get out they be all in your face like it was cool to snitch on you. A Lot of niggas from my end go upstate with a 2-5 and start messing with them punks and then come home and mess with women like it was cool or like they didn't lose their manhood behind them walls. That's why I never really messed with a lot of cuties I had a opportunity to hit because I knew they messed with them niggas.. Nasty ass mf's..... shidd that shit was crazy. They made us look real bad in them prisons with all that. Them Philly boys gave us no respect because a lot of niggas from my end was going out like that. Thank god I'm Muslim. Real talk. I remember when I was doing that 4 to 8 for that trafficking case I caught in the early 90' there was this dude named Rick that came through with a 3-6. He was from the Hill . I really didn't know dude but he did business with my homie on the street. They put him on B-Block with all the new arrivals and he was the only one in his group that was not from Philly. This was his first bit upstate. He was playing cards and going to chow with them Philly boys and they gamed him up on some other shit. He was a wantabe ass nigga and them Philly boys hate that. There was this big ass punk name buttercup in the jail that was from North Philly. This nigga looked like big bird and Eddie Monster's doll "wolf wolf" all at the same time. Apparently the punk liked the dude and wanted to hit so he talked them Philly boys into setting it up. I heard that while they were playing cards the punk would come over and flirt with niggas and they would all feed into it knowing it was a setup and dude fell right into it. They gamed him into believing that they would do it. So dude put in a cell transfer and had the punk move in his cell. I heard he came out the next morning with his chest all out talking about how he hit and then them Philly boys all turned on him at once. Calling him fagit and all that. He worked in the kitchen and passed out the trays when the inmates came to chow and them Philly niggas was like I don't take trays from a fagit. Everywhere he went them Philly niggas clowned him decent. Dude went into the bathroom and was crying. So he called them philly boys out for a fight in the yard and try to put everybody from my end in it like it was going to be some type of gang war, So after count in the yard there was a thousand killers from Philly with wacks as long as a nigga's forearm and dude. This nigga was all alone (nobody from my end came out) I just happen to be going to the weight pile and seen it all go down. It was by the mercy of god that I was cool with a lot of them Philly boys. I did law work for a lot of them so my respect with them was far reaching. I told them dude didn't know what he was doing and they should let that go. They let it go on my word. Afterwards I gathered all of them up when he left and cussed them all out for trying to beat up a fagit. Word got back to me a lot of niggas from my end was going hard in other jails with them punks. Shit is the worst. A Lot of cuties from my end never knew that nigga they were waiting on was tip toeing through the tulips and the sad thing is them niggas never told them. Grimy ass niggas!












So It's my 87th day in Rosarito Mexico and about this time I'm looking like a wild man from the jungles of Borneo. That Mexican weed got me looking something crazy. I ain't shaved in weeks. My thoughts are racing about all the opportunities here and how I can reinvent myself. I was thinking MAJOR on whatever I do. I was reflecting on something that happened most recently in my life while I was there. My grandmom and grandpop moved from Georgia back in 1920 to my hometown and haven't communicated with their family down south in over 85 years.I remember my grandma telling me stories about them when I was a kid but none of us ever saw a pic or anything. Just names. Recently I came up on a family tree website made by one of my cousins in 2011. She died of a heart attack right after but she left enough info for me to track the rest of the family down. Come to find out my Granddad had 8 brothers and 3 sisters. I made contact with one of my cousins in Atl on fb and found out some gangster shit. Word is that my gpop and his brothers were all gangsters. They ran that moonshine in the 30's and 40's and one caught a body on some gun play. Cousins told me that gangsterism runs in my blood and that they ain't no choir boys neither and that if shit gets thick they get thick with it. Shiddd Real talk. Found over a few thousand direct fams in a few months.and they all howl at the moon like wolves.  I'm like that could be the come up a nigga been looking for.

I was thinking I could do something positive like open a school for information Technology in Mexico and get American Accreditation. I would have students come from all over the world to my school and get financial aid. I saw how it's done in the States so I know that would be a decent come up. I would have all my cousins come down and work the business with me. I would be the dean and all that crazy shit or start a construction company here and buy cheap ass land and build million dollar houses on them and flip that on the market. Won't be hard to do when a few acres only cost 3 thousand and the Mexicans work for pennies on the dollar. I would have one up in 2 months fucking around. I said to myself shiddd I can get me a 10k loan and flip that to $350k easily if I build right on the coast of the California/Mexican Baja. Lowes offer a Mansion package with blue print so I could order the material and have my construction company put it up.. I would have 10 done in a year. But then I got to thinking about that raw and going straight dirty with it. I can see me now turning my fams into one of the biggest black Mafia Families in the world. Shid I make it sizzle out this mf. Contribute to global warming. I can see me now all on America's most wanted list. Navy Seals all on my roof and shit. I got to thinking about my escape if shit all goes bad and I thought about a 16,000 sq ft glass-encased mansion in North Korea. I know I would be good there. All I have to do at this point is give orders. Knowing Kim Un I would be breaking off a 3rd but shidd I would be safe. I be pushing a 2016 Money Green Bentley Mulsanne through Pyongyang with the North Korean model Han Hye Jin with seats at the game with dear leader. You know he ain't letting nobody come and fuck his paper up.....




So I'm on my 90th day in Mexico and about this time I'm tripped out. I still don't know how to take it. I feel like I'm in a dream. So much that could be done. Ain't no feeling in the world like a major opportunity. I've been plotting for 90 days on how i'm going to take this shit over all at once. This Mexican weed got a nigga feeling like I'm iron man. I'm riding my horse on the beach and my thoughts won't give me a moment's rest.I was thinking I should run for some type of office down here. Maybe on the Mexican Senate. Shid I doubt they would say no if my campaign was right. All I have to do is make a few commercials and pay to have that shit aired. There political process ain't that hard like the US and as long as I ain't talking about fucking with the cartel's paper I would be good. I can see me now outlining my plan for educational and economical rehabilitation. Tell the Mexican people that I want to bring down black business to the region and need their support in getting my projects off the ground. I can see me now winning 90 percent of the vote and shit. Make history and become the first nigga on the Mexican senate. I would be meeting with world leaders and all that carrying on.Be all blunted up at every meeting. I seriously think I could pull that off.. Real talk. But then that hard white ain't never too far off my mind you feel me. Fuck all that hard work when I can take the easy way out. Push a few t's and retire in the islands. Shiddd going major like El Chapo sounds more appealing to me anyway you feel me. I can see the big man coming through with my second shipment and I got half all on them fishing boats coming through the gulf heading to Miami. I would bring back the cocaine cowboy era on them. Niggas meeting them boats in the middle with speed boats and then send in a decoy for the US Coast Guard so we can get that package through. The other half coming through via cargo jets to Atl. Pure raw diesel coming in straight from the fields. I would send word that I want everything bagged up in nicks (i need every dime) no plays. Got niggas all on alert. By now the FEDS and DEA would probably be on point about my activities so I gotta go deep undercover. I'm still thinking how the other bosses got popped (all at home) so my hide and seek game would have to be official. Fuck that I would build me a underground bunker like Hitler did in the Arizona Desert 50 miles outside of Yuma. Shit would have a pool room jacuzzi basketball court and a home theater plus...go all the way out with it. Hire a ten man work crew to build some state of the art shit then off them when it's all complete. Line them all up on payday and then let my shooters go hard. Ain't no love in this game here.....

So I'm on my 92nd day in Mexico and I still ain't got a handle on the whole thing. The world seems to have fallen off its axis. Everything has slowed up but my mind is going like a high powered jet engine. Every major power move is at my disposal here on top of me being rich with pesos. Rosarito is something out of this world. There is poverty here but not on the level it was in Tj. My world has changed and I am saying to myself I have to change with it. Everything that I knew is no more and now I have a chance to be one of the world's most notorious bad guys. Shid I'm like if I am going to go down like that I mind as well be the best at it. I often think of where I came from and the long journey it took to get here. That grimy little ass town I came from taught me a lot of lessons. Most importantly trust no one and suspect everyone. Moving into my hometown is like falling into that snake pit Indiana Jones did in the temple of doom. Everybody snakes...especially the women. Your baby's mom would have a nigga waiting outside your crib with a 357 to do you and you didn't see it coming or know why . It be some nobody ass nigga she letting hit raw on the side and now he all open. She telling this nigga you smacking her all up and now he want to do something about it and blow your head all off. Later on that night she all at the club telling her girls how she was going to get her hair and nails done when she got that ssi money for your death benefits..... the setup is real. Growing up in all that has shaped me into a real vicious mf but I have managed to hold a lot of all that back but now I am free to go hard with it in Mexico I just can't see why not. Now that I got access to that cripple I thought that my days in the game was over in 88 when my cousin Pooder got cracked but it was just beginning. There was a young leopard named Slick I knew waiting to run all wild in the jungle. Peeped it out when he was 8 and I was about 12 at the time.. We lived on the same block when we were young and I was family. We were so poor that we found this purple barney colored shirt with the ruffles on it (5 heartbeat style) in the trash and my brother and his two younger brothers rocked it one day a week for school for 2 years. Shiddd the struggle was real. We had no money to wash it so we used to just spray the underarms down with old spice. .There were days we were so hungry we used to go behind the dairy and dive for donuts and 5 day old milk. We were on some other shit but we made it. He had mad talent back then but at that time I was already corrupted by my cousin and he peeped that out. There was no way to stop him. Years later he would become one of the biggest bosses my hometown has ever seen and I was right there with him. Real talk.




So it's my 94th day in Mexico and 'I'm stuck on that Mexican weed. So I went to get a taco on the blvd in Rosarito and this green mini school bus pulled up and the driver said "amigo come take a ride". He wanted to take me deeper into Mexico and the ride was only 18 pesos. I was like fuck that I mind as well so I got on the bus and dude took me deep deep deep inside mexico. He was telling me that I was the first American to ever come to these towns and everybody else was scared to get on the bus. Every town we stopped at it seemed that the entire town came out to see me and shit. It seemed the further we went the darker the people got We stopped at every little town dam near 50 miles away from Guatemala. Shit was all fucked up. I have never seen so much poverty in my life. Living in a cardboard box would have been better than living in some of the cribs they were living in. No food or clean water. No decent sanitary. No police fire or nothing. All that shit caught me off guard. plus I was all high off that weed and shit.I was like wtf is going on here. I was sliding pesos to the kids and doing what I could. It was mad and sad. During the ride I was still lost in my thoughts about what the possibilities could be. This is the ball game. I was thinking I could rent a big ass club and bring UFC and Boxing down to Tijuana. Shidd aint none of that there.I would throw the first 3 events for free and then charge for the rest. I would get contracts with sportscenter and get sanctioned by the WBC WBA and the WBO and throw middleweight bouts down this mf. Wouldn't cost me a thing but the hall and the ring. I got a hood pass so I can pull that all off. Shiddd all sports events would be on the table if I put my mind to it. I would be Mexico's Don King. But then those evil thoughts started creeping back into my head. I got to thinking about my setup in Tj and going all out with it... Yal know I'm the joker.


Shidd they talking !00 percent pure flake that would make your shins bigger than the rest of your body. Fuck it being straight from the kilo they talking straight from the plant..I'm like fuck all that. I can see me now pushing tons of that shit through the ports in San Fran all off to Asia. It would be coming in through them boats hauling scrap metal. It would be hidden all in the bows. I be well hidden just collecting paper and making sure shit goes correctly. I can see me now in South Dakota on them Indian reservations and shit in a 500 foot pure raw hide Tp with everything included. I would be walking around in pure North American Black Bear fur and Bagatelle knit rabbit slippers and an Akita wolf as my pet. I would have a stable of 10 purebred Arabian night horses worth $50.000 a piece. I am taking care of the whole village throwing Pow Wows every weekend and going on 200 man hunting parties and all that shit. I can see me  horseback riding all in those mountains with the American Indian model Tonantzin Carmelo heading to my class five canoe. I have the feathers all on and all that real talk.....








 So it's my 97th day in Mexico and I am still blown back from the whole experience. The sheer beauty and poverty is too much to take in and by now I am quite addicted to that Malta. I'm high every second of the day and the temptation to go down with the greats of drug dealing is great. Can't believe that this opportunity is right at my fingertips and I haven't acted yet. The more and more I think about it the more and more I am inching towards it but there is something in the back of my mind that's telling me to leave. Get out of Mexico. I started to think about my days on the corner and seeing the dark side of drug dealing and all the pain that I will cause and if there is a heaven and hell how I would be purchasing a one way ticket to the latter but hell all that money is alluring and has a powerful magnetic field. A nigga would be crazy to do it or pass it up. The dark thoughts are more powerful than to good ones. I keep thinking that if I am going to get into the game I mind as well go all out.I can see me now kidnapping one of the big man’s people and taking him to an abandoned house and beating him to death with axe making him tell me and my shooters all the things I need to know about the organization. Once we kill him we will throw him in a pigsty and watch them bang his remains up. I would know who is the number 2 to the last man on the totem pole. My goal would be to get as close to the big man as possible to gain his trust and lay in wait for the opportunity to cross him when the takeover presents itself...Shiddd. I can see me and my shooters now all outside of number 2’s crib with them masks on waiting to ambush him with those choppers and let him and his whole family have it to the last bullet in them clips then we get out in an old station wagon and watch the fall out. They would never expect us and the big man would blame a rival gang.  Me and my team would be on a killing spree in the worst way hitting key people within the organization in order to introduce confusion and mistrust in the mind of the big man to the point he has to give trusting me a little bit of consideration. Besides, my payments are always on time and he would never suspect me. A nigga!


Chapter 3

Last Day in Mexico 


It's my 99th day in Mexico and I'm going through a pound of weed every 3 days to the head. I'm sure the Mexicans think I'm out of my whole goddamn mind but I had a lot on it. I'm rich on the beach high and got the chance to be the greatest in something.Shid I'm thinking I can't pass this up but I thought about my kids and my family. I thought about God and what God had said in the Bible. I picked up the bible and read out of Matthew 4:1-11 which read:


Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.  “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.

Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.


It's my 100th day in Mexico. I packed my shit and left.











Author's Bio



Kirk Teasley is a native of Harrisburg Pennsylvania who lived in Miami Florida and San Diego California. Kirk spent 6 years in a State Correctional Institution in Pennsylvania for Robbery and Drug Trafficking in the early 90’s. After being released from State prison he went to Lehigh University and received his As in information Technology. Kirk currently runs his own self help litigation firm and travels the world.


Submitted: November 20, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Kirk Teasley. All rights reserved.

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