Weekends Were Made For...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Dysfunctional Poetry

I woke up with those first two lines...and took a left turn


Weekends Were Made For...


When weekend’s dawn dangles in the balance

And winter’s chill hangs in the air

In those silent moments when 

You don’t dare disturb the day’s zen

That’s when the morning magic circuits begin to crackle and flare

It might begin with something as simple as a child’s lego

Strategically abandoned in the middle of the living room floor 

Oh the oaths that have been uttered 

Mostly screamed not stuttered

Well, they could rival the lion king’s roar

As long as I’m bitchiin’

Let’s take a look in the kitchen 

At an automatic coffee maker that wasn’t quite centered on its base

It’s brewed a batch piping hot

But it missed the damn pot

Now there’s fresh coffee all over the place

Right about now I’d normally be reading my newspaper 

Except today the neighbor’s dog mistook it for a tree

This day just keeps getting better and my newspaper couldn’t be any wetter 

When I find myself locked outside in my bibbidees 

With my elderly neighbor staring out her window at me

Of course she’ll telephone Johnny Law

As she has before so many times

But this go ‘round I won’t try to crawl through my window 

No sense in stupidity compounding the crime

At this point I bark my shins on a child’s bike sprocket 

Drawing only enough blood to not cause alarm

Frankly with a front lawn that resembles a rummage sale

I’m surprised I’ve survived without greater harm

I stagger toward the gate in the fence and unlock it

Before stepping on one of Poochie’s  “landmines”

There’s a concrete path to the back of the house if I can walk it

Before Officer Merritt arrives and starts issuing fines

As the sun climbs above the horizon 

I guess I’m glad all weekends aren’t the same

I wipe my barefoot on the grass

Then find my recliner with my ass

And plop down to enjoy this week’s football games

There are those people who try to control everything 

And others willing to just let life be

I’ll admit that I’m more aligned with the latter

Whatever any weekend throws at me



21 Nov 2020






Submitted: November 22, 2020

© Copyright 2020 ShadyBrady. All rights reserved.

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