eating on a date: michelle's method: dealing with men 101

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

part three of my series on men and dating.

Eating on a Date: Michelle’s Method #11: Dealing with Men 101


It is always best to let the man pay for the first three dates. By allowing a man to pay for the date, you can establish that he is generous and a gentleman. A good way of avoiding cheap types is to let the man pick up the bill and pay. Remember to thank him, smile, and make eye contact for his generosity. 


It is important to enjoy the date and appreciate his suggestions. Barring a food allergy, vegetarianism, intense dislike for an item, medical problems, religion, or some other valid reason, going along with his suggestions for wine, food, and location on the first three dates is a great idea. You can make suggestions on restaurants and bars after the third date. 


Do not take advantage of a man’s kindness. There is no requirement for him to pay a set amount. It is also disingenuous to order food you plan on taking home, the most expensive item on the menu, a five course meal, Champagne, rich desserts, or food you cannot eat. 




  1. It is important to look attractive while eating, particularly on the first three dates. It is easier to achieve this image by ordering soup and salad over a giant pizza with extra cheese for oneself.


  1. Do not avoid enjoying some of his food if offered, or a glass or two of wine. It is good to show pleasure and an agreeable disposition when on a date with a man. Men appreciate women who enjoy wine and their culinary recommendations. 

  2. Do not eat off his plate. Do not avoid ordering food and then pick at or demand some of his. Wait for him to offer food. You can always offer a taste of yours on a separate plate before you begin eating, and he is more likely to offer you some of his. If he does not, make a mental note to try that dish another time at the same restaurant and do not bug him about it. 


  1. To look attractive while eating, do not eat fast, slurp, burp, or swallow food quickly. Take your time to enjoy the food. Eat smaller bites cut neatly, not hanging off the fork. Use a fork and knife, spoon, or chopsticks. Avoid eating with your hands. Do not comment on food you don’t like or rip it apart/pull off skin. Just eat it as it is. One way of dealing with food you don’t like is to take a small bite or two, then just say it is too spicy or nice but you are full or it was interesting. Leave it at that. Just don’t order it again. 


  1. Chew at least ten to fifteen times. Pause between bites. Do not avoid eating or pushing around food. Place your fork down by your side when taking a break. Learn how to use forks, spoons, and knives from etiquette books. 

  2. Do not order items such as boiled crawfish, greasy lasagna, spaghetti, or anything that would look unsightly when eating in front of man. 

  3. Do not order a burger and fries. Only go for a burger and fries after the third date on a non date date or casual outing. Best to order a smaller burger with a salad and coffee than a large burger with fries and milkshake. Overindulgence does not look good and is bad for your waistline. 


  1. Do not be afraid to eat, either. It is one of life’s great pleasures. 

  2. If he takes you to a fast food restaurant or Denny’s on the first three dates or makes you pay/go Dutch on the first three dates, he is too cheap for you to date. Don’t make excuses. The truth is, you don’t really want to pay for him all the time or eat in lousy, cheap restaurants. His income and financial troubles are not your issues in life. If he is well-off and does this, run especially fast. He can easily afford to treat you better than that and doesn’t. Issues with women and money.

  3. Make certain to reciprocate by ordering his favorite food, taking him out for coffee or a cocktail, making dinner, bringing him his favorite donuts or soup at lunch, or bringing him a nice bottle of his favorite wine. What you cannot make you can order, but be honest about it. If you don’t make Bouillabaisse or Steak Madagascar, don’t give him the impression that you do or he will be disappointed when you invite him for dinner. 

  4. Use a napkin on your lap. Sip your drink and do not gulp it down. Pay attention to what he is saying while eating. Nod, make commentary, ask questions, and smile. 

  5. Do not dive into your food. It is best to order an entree only or split two appetizers. Soup and salad are also acceptable substitutions. Do not go and eat large plates of food in front of a man or avoid eating. Both are turn-offs. 

  6. Do not be slovenly. Do not order ribs or similarly messy items. Save the ribs and beer guzzling for your nights with friends who do not care. You wouldn’t eat that way at a business convention. Do not eat that way in front of your date or boyfriend. 

  7. Wearing black is a great safeguard against spills. Clear beverages are often best. If his chosen beverage is red wine, then put an extra napkin under the wine glass and on your lap. This action will prevent unnecessary stains in most cases. 

  8. Thank him for the evening. Make certain to arrive and go home in your own car, by bus, or cab. Do not let a man drive you home for the first month until you are certain you can be alone with him. 

  9. Do not offer sex or sexual activity in return for spending money on dates. Do not use a man to get into places, his money, or status. 

  10. Do not pick a nightclub, movie, or his place for the first three dates. Refuse all sexual offers for the first month. Make it clear you do not want to have sex with him for at least four weeks in order to establish that he wants to date you and/or is considering you for a relationship.

  11. If you are only looking for sex, do not date the people you sleep with or invite them to various activities. Do the Debbie approach: invite your boy or girl toy over for a dip in the pool or hot tub, a video, or back rub. Engage in light conversation. Have a drink or two if desired, some pot, or whatever you use (reasonably) to relax. Then do the act. He or she must leave immediately after. Avoid cuddling or letting him or her stay overnight. Do not call or invite to events. Do not buy gifts. Getting laid is getting laid and sex buddies are not for dating. No phone calls, emails, or long texts. He is not your boyfriend. Do not pull the bait and switch.

Submitted: November 23, 2020

© Copyright 2021 michelle's method. All rights reserved.

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