Plantar Fasciitis Fiasco

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Dealing with having plantar fasciitis and getting treated for it was an experience. The jury is still out whether it was a good or bad one.

 

It all started with a little foot pain. This grew into some major foot pain. It then got

so bad, I realized I would have to see a doctor. I know the first step in getting any type of medical treatment involves seeing my primary care physician. It seems his job is to make referrals. I once sat in his office and told him I was hungry for pizza. He had his nurse give me a referral to a pizza specialist that was covered by my insurance. I never realized there was such a thing but, I was a bit impressed.

My doctor came into his examination room to see me with his usual smile and happy demeanor.

He said, “You're a little early for your blood test.”

I know, I'm having pain in my foot,” I replied.

Do you have any cravings for pizza? Our referrals to a pizza specialist now include coupons.”

No, I just have a pain in my foot.”

How bad of a pain?”

Bad enough I can't walk correctly.”

The doctor then asked me to walk around. When I did, it was obvious I was limping. He then typed things on his computer or played some type of video game, I wasn't certain. He had me remove my sock and shoe and looked at my foot.

Well, it's obvious you're in pain.”

I thought to myself this man's power of observation is second to none.

I'm going to give you a referral to an orthopedist.”

Does that come with a coupon for pizza?”

No.”

Darn.”

During the time I waited for my appointment with the orthopedist my wife handled the situation in her most sensitive manner. She gave me nicknames.

How is my gimpy husband doing?”

I wish you would not say such things. My foot really hurts.”

Whatever you say, hop-a-long husband.”

Can you just stop it?”

Okay, peg-leg poppa.”

So, I got to see the orthopedist and didn't file a lawsuit against my wife for domestic abuse before then. Things were looking good. He scanned my foot, x-rayed my foot, and made me feel like my foot was part of a fashion shoot. After this, I was able to speak with him for five minutes.

Do you know what's wrong with my foot?”

You have plantar fasciitis. I'm going to give you a referral for a physical therapist.”

Do you have any referrals for Mexican or Chinese food specialists?”

Not for this?”

Darn.”

I had the fortune of getting with a physical therapist who was in excellent physical condition. I believe his hobby may have been lifting cars over his head. This was a rather strong individual.

I see from your chart you have plantar fasciitis, he said.” "Well, the good news

is I'm sure we can get rid of it for you. We will start you off with important

exercises.”

What if that doesn't work?”

Then we have a boot you'll have to wear on your foot.”

What if that doesn't work?”

Oh, that would be bad. There are painful injections that only last for some time and then surgery that has a very low success rate.”

What happens if none of those work?”

Then you'll have to get used to having the nickname gimpy.”

Oh.”

Things were going well with the exercising and the pain slowly went away. During this time my physical therapist showed me his sadistic side. He took a device and rubbed it on the bottom of my foot causing me so much pain I gave him my unit's movements and my commanding officer's name as well as my mother's recipe for chocolate chip cookies. Lucky for me I've been out of the military for over 20 years or I'd be in trouble.

The orthopedist had a brilliant idea of providing me with shoe inserts. I've never worn shoe inserts and these didn't help. They caused me pain. When I told my orthopedist, he came up with the brilliant idea of me not using them. It took me a few weeks with new exercises to eliminate the pain from the shoe inserts. I asked my physical therapist if hitting the orthopedist with the shoe inserts would be good therapy for my foot. He advised against it.

At home I told my wife since I've stayed on my diet, I'm no longer overweight. Since the pain is gone from my foot, I no longer limp. I told her she had no more nicknames for me. She looked at me and replied, “Whatever you say pumpkin head.”

Next time I get a referral for a pizza specialist and coupon from my doctor, I'm not going to share it with my wife; now known to me as chicken legs.

 


 

 

 

 

 


Submitted: November 23, 2020

© Copyright 2021 Nevidomo Istoriya. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

88 fingers

I can relate to your story. I had plantar fasciitis a few years ago. But instead of going to the doctors, I took care of it myself.
Found the exercises online and bought the insoles for plantars at Walgreens.
Took about a month, but it got better.

Mon, November 23rd, 2020 5:02pm

Author
Reply

I admire your ability to take care of it yourself. Mine was pretty bad. It took a few months of exercises and physical therapy to eliminate a significant amount of the pain. Thank you for your comment.

Mon, November 23rd, 2020 9:16am

Ann Sepino

Gosh, I enjoy how you can so easily play with words and dialogue! On another note, I've never had plantar fasciitis, and I hope I don't ever. It sounds like a bad time.

Wed, November 25th, 2020 1:49pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading my little essay. You are right, plantar fasciitis is no fun, but I find humor in everything

Wed, November 25th, 2020 12:01pm

Celtic-Scribe63

I suffered from this for about 18 months in my left foot and then just as it cleared up, I got it in my right foot. I still get a bit of pain now and then.
My GP told me to roll a tennis ball around under my foot when sitting and watching TV for exercise.
I also bought a pair of orthopedic insoles £20 from Boots the chemist (Their own brand) for my shoes with arch support. They worked wonders, the pain just vanished.

Thu, November 26th, 2020 7:01pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for responding. I am glad your pain is gone. It can be a difficult experience.

Fri, November 27th, 2020 5:29am

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