Pizza From The Sky

Short Story by: Serge Wlodarski

Reads: 331 | Likes: 23 | Shelves: 19 | Comments: 13

“Chambers, don't get on that ship! The rest of the book, To Serve Man, it's... it's a cookbook!" – The Twilight Zone, season 3, episode 24.

By the time the human race had survived the Covid-19 pandemic, we figured we were ready to handle anything. We were wrong. That was when food began falling from the sky.

For me, it was pizza, cheeseburgers, and lasagna. My favorite foods. For someone in India, it might be tandoori chicken. In eastern Europe, perhaps sarma or cevapi. Whoever or whatever was sending the food somehow could read our minds. Everyone got their favorites.

Governments across the world implored people not to eat the food. But when scientists analyzed it, they found nothing wrong. No poisons, no chemicals. Just hot, juicy, tasty food.

The scientists couldn’t explain how the food descended from the skies at a slow pace, allowing it to land softly on our porches. As if gravity was somehow turned off. They couldn’t explain how the food arrived hot, like it just came out of the oven.

They also could not explain where it came from. None of the thousands of satellites in orbit, nor telescopes on the ground, could detect anything unusual. No space ships or anything else that would indicate what was happening.

People couldn’t help it. We started eating. What else are you going to do, with the smell of delicious food constantly wafting through your house?

After a few weeks, restaurants and grocery stores began closing. No need to bother with grocery shopping, or eating out, when there is always something to eat on the other side of your front door.

Then, people stopped going to work. We were too busy eating. If it weren’t for remote controls, we would have been to lazy to turn on our TVs.

One by one, businesses went under. Nobody was buying anything. Except at clothing stores. People were gaining weight, and needed new clothes.

We stopped paying attention to warnings about the mystery food when the Secretary General of the UN appeared at a press conference with a suspicious white powder on his lips. It wasn’t cocaine. Turns out he’d been binge eating Danish wedding cookies.

The day after Thanksgiving, the alien ships began landing. The world’s armies did nothing. Everyone was just too full. In a matter of hours, every government on the planet surrendered. The aliens had taken over Earth, without firing a shot.

That’s how I ended up in this holding pen, waiting to be transported to their home planet. I weigh almost 300 pounds. Fat and juicy, just how aliens like their humans.

Submitted: November 27, 2020

Humor food aliens

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Comments

Criss Sole

Sounds like paradise! Well... at first. Then turns into a nightmare.
Oh those aliens! Very good way to overtake humanity. "It wasn't cocaine. Turns out he'd been binge eating Danish wedding cookies." Everyone has a weakness! Those aliens are way too smart for us.
Great story!

Fri, November 27th, 2020 2:41pm

Author
Reply

Danish wedding cookies are great but you get powdered sugar everywhere. My favorite is chocolate chip. Thanks for reading.

Fri, November 27th, 2020 11:18am

88 fingers

Great story from an idea of one of the best Twilight Zone episodes ever made.
I will have a monsoon of corn beef, cabbage and potatoes. With Guinness

Fri, November 27th, 2020 5:11pm

Author
Reply

You will fatten up quickly and be on the first ship out. Thanks for reading.

Fri, November 27th, 2020 11:15am

DunkelSpin

The question is: can food land on a plate?
Little did the aliens know, they were served their best food (juicy fat humans) by the real aliens. One endless cycle. Food is, after all, is the best bait to catch a fish.

Fri, November 27th, 2020 5:40pm

Author
Reply

That would make a good sequel. Thanks for reading.

Fri, November 27th, 2020 11:12am

Penetentman

Yes definitely channels "To serve man" and perhaps a bit of "monsters are due on maple street" Loved this idea!

Fri, November 27th, 2020 6:48pm

Author
Reply

Thanks. That is my favorite Twilight Zone episode and I'd been trying to come up with my version of it.

Fri, November 27th, 2020 11:10am

Meaghan Kalena

Lol! Wow, nice ending and interesting (& original) premise! Nice writing :)

Fri, November 27th, 2020 10:09pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! But I need to stop writing stories that make me hungry.

Sat, November 28th, 2020 2:46am

NikM

Good piece, I've enjoyed it. Made me chuckle a bit, that part with the UN Secretary.

Sat, November 28th, 2020 9:39am

Author
Reply

Thanks. I guess the lesson there is never eat Danish wedding cookies before you go on TV.

Sat, November 28th, 2020 2:34am

Mark A George

You're right, this is how the world ends: free food, gluttony, obesity, lethargy, abductions, then food for aliens. It all makes perfect sense, Serge. Enjoyed it!

Sat, November 28th, 2020 6:37pm

Author
Reply

Hehehe. At the rate we're going, who needs aliens? Thanks for reading.

Sun, November 29th, 2020 3:51am