Booze for Votes

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic

Just some thoughts on Voting, --- and a question.

Can you imagine boozing it up on election day? Wait, let me clarify that. Can you imagine boozing it up on election day, and not having to pay for it?

Believe it or not, politicians, in the early days of our nation, very often bought Booze for anyone who would vote for them, and Washington was no exception.

Yes sir-re, that 144 gallons of rum, hard-cider, beer, and who knows what else, helped George secure the office.

But, Hay, everyone was doing it, --- right?

So it may not have been surprising that good old George was not only the first Official President of the United States, but he won the support of each participating elector, 69 Electoral Votes; {Wow, that's about a half gallon of booze per person!}. No other president has come into office with such a Party-Time mandate to lead his country.

George Washington has claim to another first, too, he was the only "Independent Candidate" to ever win the Presidential Seat.

Well, finding out about the Electoral Boozing gave me an idea. Maybe offering free booze would draw in more voters to the polls.

So I decided to take a telephone straw-poll of people I know, around the USA.

First, I called my cousin in Texas, and she said that her adult family members would be happy to give their vote to any Republicans with free booze on the menu, provided the polling place was at, or near, a local Roadhouse; preferably a Roadhouse with BBQ Ribs on the menu.

Strangely enough, I got pretty much the same answer from my Uncle, Joe, in South Carolina and my Nephew, Mike, in North Dakota.

When I called Missouri, my Aunt Lula asked, "Are they serve-in Hard Cyder? I don't cotton to beer!"

Well I guess she was all in when I said they could be serving Hard Cyder, but she wanted the polling place to be at the senior-center, but not on bingo night.

Jason, my California cousin said, "A few drinks wouldn't buy my vote, I'm a registered Independent! And besides, there are no roadhouse where I live."

My niece in New Mexico said, "Sure, I would do that! But first I'd have to register and I don't know where the Burrow of Registration building is."

Well, after a several more calls, and four wrong numbers, I ended up with 96% in favor.

However, after crunching the numbers I came to the conclusion that, Logistically, setting up a Booze for voting system was impossible; there's just not enough BBQ Ribs to go 'round.

 

I thought this system might help, because the United States has a very low voter turnout.

Other countries take voting more seriously, like Australia, for instance. A citizen not casting a ballot there faces fine, and the fine may double after the first offense.

Boy, that wouldn't go over well in America. With our fiercely independent populace that thinks "Big Government" already controls too much of their lives, well, there might be riots or something.

But the truth is, American politics was never designed to be a 100% voter turnout affair. Very few people could read and write, so the framers of the constitution opted for a system where a majority of the voters didn't always decide the outcome of an election, {mainly because they didn't trust the voters of that time period}, so in the end, those who could read and write, {Enlightened Statesmen}, decided who would be President.

But sometimes even that didn't work. For example, the 1876 presidential election. Samuel Tilden had 19 more Electoral Votes than Rutherford B. Hayes, but another 20 Electoral Votes were contested.

After the smoke of the Bipartisan Commission cleared, Hayes got the Presidency by one vote.

 

In other election "Close Calls" is the 1994 House of Representative's race in the great state of Wyoming. That was decided by the Governor reaching into a cowboy hat and pulling out one Ping-Pong Ball that had the winners name on it.

And in 2011, in Nevada, the North Las Vegas city council primary race was so close, and neither side wanted to pay the $600 for an official recount, so the seat was won by drawing cards, high card won.

***

I guess no voting system is fool proof, and some may be better than others, but in the end I have to ask, "What the hell is a Roadhouse?"

 

 

D. Thurmond / JEF

11-28-2020


Submitted: November 28, 2020

© Copyright 2021 D. Thurmond aka JEF. All rights reserved.

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88 fingers

One of the reasons FDR was elected in 1932 besides the depression, was his vow to repeal prohibition.
Many supporters of FDR carried, "WE WANT BEER" signs at his rallies.
Good story from little known facts about the US that they don't teach in school.

Sun, November 29th, 2020 1:12am

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Thanks.

Sun, November 29th, 2020 11:56am

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